I found some article about a “new” category of personality disorder that I think I am a great candidate for: Schizotypal Personality Disorder. Apparently, its considered a “lite” version of schizophrenia, but it just sounds like absolute crap to me. But I mean, one of the criteria really makes a lot of sense - just look at this website….

“odd beliefs or magical thinking that influences behavior and is inconsistent with subcultural norms (e.g., superstitiousness, belief in clairvoyance, telepathy, or ’sixth sense’; in children and adolescents, bizarre fantasies or preoccupations);”

And heres another great one:

Preoccupation with fantasy and daydreaming; lack of practicality; eccentric thinking (e.g., belief in ghosts, reincarnation, UFOs); diffuse identity and changing goals: for example, joining religious cult; susceptibility to nightmares and states of altered consciousness; social rebelliousness and nonconformity that can interfere with social or vocational advancement.

This is great! I love having my very own personality disorder! I wonder if I can get somebody to hook me up with a bunch of cool drugs now. That would be awesome.
Heres another more straightforward list of the criteria for being schizotypal. I mean, to me, this “disorder” just sounds like you grew up as a nerd and are kind of uncomfortable socially. It doesn’t sound like anything that needs therapy. It’s retarded. Hehe… or maybe, I just don’t want to admit I have some crushing personality disorder.

Oh wait, here’s more. According to this, Schizotypal Personality Disorder (StPD) “The concept came from the awareness that there were nonpsychotic but eccentric and dysfunctional personalities who were considered to have attenuated expressions of the constitutional defect that underlay schizophrenia.” And it lists such criteria as and individual may possess: “feel they have special powers,” or “believe they have magical control over others”.

Man, I really love this disorder. But at the same time, it really pisses me off to think about psychology, and how it tries to make everybody into some kind of disordered slob of a weirdo.

I mean, to me, this is harmless, because I’m well-adjusted, and realize that whatever it is that makes me weird also gives me power and individuality. But this is such a dangerous direction to force people’s minds into, just constantly saying how common ordinary problems someone has are these grandiose awful disorders. My powers of “suspicious and paranoid ideation” lead me to believe its all done intentionally by a medical industry that wants to sell us drugs and specialists and constantly exploit how we are naturally.

It’s just another version of Original Sin, if you think about it. We can’t help being human, and having the flaws and gems within us that we have, anymore than we can help the fact that sex created us or drives us. Just think about that the next time you see an ad on TV for some kind of mood-altering pharmaceutical. What are they selling you? Are they selling a solution, or are they selling you continued guilt and dependence?

HOLY SHIT! I just found the best fucking line in the article I quoted above: “Clients with StPD are inclined to engage treatment providers in circuitous, belabored, odd, and meaningless discourses on subjects like: “artistic endeavor and the use of drugs” or “mental health treatment providers as agents of social control.” FUCKING AMAZING! Don’t they see? These conversations aren’t odd or belabored, and especially not meaningless - these are the people trying to convince the psychologists of how stupid and fucking blind and wrong they are, and that they really are agents of social control. Wow! This is mind-boggling!

Damn! If they only knew! They would dose me up with antipsychotics! They would dose me the hell up!