the timboucher experience

I like Bret Holmes because he’s so different from me. Actually, that’s precisely why I didn’t like him at first. I mean, hell, we worked together for a long ass time, sat in the same room, and never talked or communicated beyond like raw office needs. But I was going through some weird things at the time, personally, and girl-wise, that just made me a total uptight weirdo, incapable of understanding or relating to a lot of the people around me who would later become important.

Plus, I met him before I really understood about bars and drinking, and brotherhood. Lessons which I learned at the feet of such masters as Mike Oliver and Doug Atwell. Hehe. More about them some other time.

So right, when and how did my perception of Bret turn around? I really have no idea. Bret himself claimed it started to happen gradually around “9/11″, because we were all finally took off our headphones, and started talking to each other. That was definitely a turning point. I also remember at some point, we started pooling our music collections at work, and Bret would play them through his speakers, and we each reserved the right to skip over any songs in our collections.

It was fun times. It’s great how many friendships become framed and strengthened by music like that. Sometimes, I think what else would guys have to talk to each other about, except music? Cause its so often about so much more than the music, its about whats encoded in the music, you know? Like emotional content, or something vague like that. It’s like when you say to your friend, “Dude! I love this song! Turn it up!” And then your friend is either like “Yeah man, this song is the shit!” Or else, “Dude, what! This song is so gay!” I don’t know. It’s really funny.

Anyway, when me and Bret started to really figure each other out I think was when we were charged with reconstructing the training curriculum at the company where we both taught, Catalyst Solutions. All of a sudden, we were collaboratively in charge of something that somehow both really mattered to us a lot. I think maybe it stems from the fact that both of us feel like we’re too cool for school in a way, that we have all these things figured out about how shit should work, but everybody else is too pansy to realize it, let alone do it.

And yeah, I think we’re right, actually. I mean, shit, there was this period of two weeks or so, where Bret and I would sequester ourselves in our locked office, or this other room, if we needed more white board space. And we would just fucking hash out these awesome ideas about progressive adult technology education, and how to train people to think for themselves, rather than just to push buttons and write shitty code, which was how we were teaching them before. That two week period was one of the times where I felt the most alive and valuable and fully utilized at a job. Normally, my jobs consist of me having a lot of shit to do, which is no big deal to me, but a lot to other people. So I finish it all really quick, and then just use the rest of that time for myself, and everybody’s happy. They get something, I get something. Whatever.

But yeah, when me and Bret were hatching this plan, like two mad scientists with a whiteboard, it was totally nuts. I remember each of us like having all these fucking whacked out diagrams, and flowcharts and weird words written entirely out of context, that probably just looked like gobbledegook to other people when they would come in and try to talk to us. Bret was awesome during all this, because he’s fucking smart as all hell, and really passionate about shit once you get him going. He’s a total fighter, who will just jump in fists flailing.

I also have semi-fond memories of him and I trying unsuccessfully to explain our monumentally earth-shattering new ideas about technology education to everyone else in the company, and just everyone giving us these completely blank stares, because they didn’t understand that we were onto something so damn big. They just couldn’t wrap their minds around it, like we could. And I remember Colin coming in, and just the two of them fighting like crazy, Colin scowling and Bret’s face turning bright red, because neither one could quite see where the other one was coming from. I’m glad I finally got to understand Bret well enough to be able to see where he was coming from, so that I too didn’t just end up scowling at this red faced man screaming at me.

Hehe. But when things just started getting good, they canned our research, and made us go back to stupid button pushing. And that was that. Soon, Bret disappeared back to finish school, and shortly after that to like his stint in Communist China, or wherever the hell he is right now. And shit, it’s been crazy, cause somehow, since he’s left, it seems like we’re even better friends than we were before. I don’t know. Like, all of a sudden, one day, he just turned into this totally serious and honest and increasingly good writer. The best part too, is I think that’s what he set out to do. Like he set out to conquer some foreign part of the world, and I think himself in the process. I sort of imagine him sailing in like that Admiral Perry guy into Japan, and just taking shit over. I can only imagine the positive damage he has wreaked on all the people around him over there. It must be great. It sounds great.

And now he’s talking about getting back in the education game too, when he comes back to the good old Land of Opportunity, which is really exciting. You know, thinking about all that old shit we used to talk about kinda makes me want to jump back into that fray too, and fight it with him, sometimes back to back, sometimes sword to sword, but always moving forward.

• Holmes Converting to Scientology
• Bret is up to something (he’s keeping his eye on the ball)
• For a good time
• Blunch
• Katie Holmes “Digs” Scientology