You know what? Having a job isnt interesting or challenging to me at all anymore. Well, I don’t think it ever really did. I don’t care about doing anybody else’s work. I mean, sometimes, you’ll get a little project or something that floats your boat. But it always seems like, theres a point at any job where you kind of hit an equilibrium. You figure out how to make all the parts run smoothly, so that it’s not really stressful or challenging anymore. Also, I don’t care about money. I don’t care about getting paid, or about having cash, or about paying bills, or paying rent. Or buying things. It all just seems kind of annoying to me lately.

What I want is a challenge. And when I say challenge, I don’t mean something pointlessly difficult with no payoff or goal. What the hell do I mean then? Yeah, fuck, I don’t know. I think I mean something where like I’m totally propelled by what I’m working on and the people I’m working with that pushes me beyond what I considered my limits, and blah blah blah.

Dammit, I even get bored writing about this. Whoo. What should I do with myself? Join the army? Run away with the circus? Try to form a criminal empire in Russia? I don’t know. Go to school? Become a ninja? Build a city out of popsicle sticks? Shit! I don’t know!

Sometimes I freak out because I don’t know what I’m doing here, or what I should do next. It really flips my wig. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!