This is in response to something from spiderbites, that I started writing as a comment, but then it got way long and out of hand…

one time at a job interview, this stupid woman asked me like a million of those retardo personality questions. the one i totally spaced on was “what would you do if you could be invisible for a day” cause of COURSE, like any normal person, I would do things like rob banks, sneak into girls locker rooms of college soccer teams, shit like that. BUT NO! its a stupid job interview so you have to say something gay like “well, you know, i would use that invisible day to catch up on some paperwork, and figure out some strategies to increase my overall productivity in the coming quarter.”

and there was serious like 20 of those questions, each more absurd than the last. and the job wasnt anything special, it was like calling colleges to pitch some shitty book of ads they give to students.

her last question was “is there anything you want to ask me?” and i was like “yeah, uh, what would YOU do if you were invisible?” cause i had asked if i could skip that one. and then she came back with some crock of shit answer about how she would sit with people at lunch and see what they say about her when shes not there.

(1) thats creepy and insecure, and weirder than anything I would do, just because its so bland and uninteresting. is that REALLY how you would waste a day being completely invisible? and (2) shit! what was number two. goddammit! sorry this is getting so long… let me post this in my blog, and elaborate on invisibity and whatnot…

Right. So, invisiblity. Where was I? I think I had some kind of intention of launcing into this big thing about how invisibility is cool, but would be especially cool if coupled with selective intangibility, so that you can pass through objects and stuff. But it would suck if it was random intangibility, where you would be like sitting on a toilet one second, and the next, you would have accidentally phase shifted, and you’d fall right off it, or even worse, get stuck inside of it, and then phase shift back and die because you would be fused with the toilet molecules. Or even worse, you wouldn’t die, but you would be trapped there - still invisible, mind you - and then someone else might come in, and not see you there fused to the toilet and invisible, and they might do their business all over you.

Hm, you know, looking back, I wish I had said all that stuff and more in the job interview, instead of getting stumped by that trap of a question. And I could have launched into correlated information, like that time in Star Trek Next Generation when they found that advanced Romulan Bird of Prey (I think) which not only had a cloaking device, but could phase through matter. And I would talk about the Philadelphia Experiment, where they were supposedly trying to make this ship invisible to radar with all these Tesla coils, and then supposedly, the ship teleported to Norfolk, VA, and then came back, and all the men on the ship were fused to the hull. Man, the look on that woman’s face would have been fucking priceless. My god. If I ever learn how to travel back in time, and replay certain moments with different outcomes without significantly fucking up the rest of my time stream, then I would go back and say that stuff to her.

But alas…. sigh.