I just got the coolest horoscope ever:

“To borrow a phrase from the old astrology columnist Stella Spambottom, this is a week you could make the boogie man cry. That’s because your anger is smarter and your fears are weaker than they’ve been in many moons. You also have access to a high level of courage, which is made even more potent by the fact that it’s rooted in quiet confidence, not blustering egotism. As you fight evil in the coming days, your forceful actions will no doubt be fair and enlightened. On behalf of the cosmic powers, therefore, I authorize you to induce tears in boogie men, out-of-control tyrants, and the devil himself.”