I just found this on my computer. It’s a year old, and I think I may have posted it back on my old blog, back when it was stupid and wasn’t about anything. Anyway, its funny enough that I wanted to reproduce it here. Now, it belongs to the ages:

i just made a startling discovery:

my left nostril is slightly larger than my right nostril!

i would love to say that i had a hypothesis that one of them was bigger, and then tested it out, but the fact of the matter, is that i was actually just sitting here, fiddling with a marker for a whiteboard, and gradually, through no fault of my own, the back end of the marker found its way into my left nostril. i had to work it in there a little bit, but once it was in there, it was able to just hang out and chill on its own.

I pulled the marker out and was astonished to look at how wide my nostril was able to stretch. Of course, the next logical step was to attempt to recreate my efforts on the right nostril. but to no avail! the nostril just would not accept the end of the marker, and i wasnt about to hurt myself in the name of science.

Maybe this has something to do also with how my left ear is a centimeter or two lower than my right ear. I guess im just one big lopsided son of a bitch.