Right, so since my grandpa was a deacon for the Diocese of Worcester, it was sort of a special occasion for the Church, cause one of their own had passed. This meant that we had one wake at the funeral home, followed a few hours later by one at the Church. I didn’t know they did that at churches ever. Apparently only for deacons and priests and things. Also, there was a little mini-service at the wake, in which the bishop himself (or one of them) officiated. Then today, we had a big mass with another bishop or assistant bishop or something, and fifteen priests and deacons. It was crazy. That was the most I had seen all at once like that, and I’ve been to tons of religious crap.

Incidentally, I also remembered during mass, that I am named after a now deceased bishop of Worcester, MA, Bishop Timothy Harrington. I guess my parents knew him or something.

Anyway, I hadn’t been to church since I left home almost 6 years ago. My parents made me go every week growing up, despite my protests and eventual refusal to partake in the full ritual - I will sit, stand, sometimes kneel, shake hands, and thats it. Shaking hands is my favorite part of the Mass. It happens a little before Communion, and you have to like stop what you are doing, and turn around and shake hands with everybody and say “Peace be with you”. Although, you can shorten it to just “Peace” which is what I do.

Some fat little priest dude with a mustache gave a shitty homily about my grandpa, which was actually not about him at all, but about Jesus. It was totally stupid, and it seemed like he knew my grandfather even less well than I did. Later on though, my mom, as oldest child of the family, gave a really good eulogy of him that made probably like 75% of the congregation cry. I didn’t cry, but I got kinda teary eyed. At the end of the Mass, the bishop said how he was really moved by what my mom said, and it seemed genuine.

That’s one thing (of many) that’s weird about all these priests and shit, is that most of them just seem to be going through the motions. Like sure, maybe they care about people and some abstract idea of God and the Bible, and try to live right and stuff, but they just don’t seem to get it. They don’t seem to be particularly holy, or to be possessed of any particular wisdom or divine grace. It’s really very disappointing. I feel like they don’t even understand most of what they are doing, and why.