OK! Back to this Adult ADD thing….

Lucky for you, I just found out you can watch the commercial that sparked the original furor in me. Check it and get back to me.

Or not. Either way I’m going to continue bitching about it. To summarize, the commercial consists of close-up shots of a woman, with quick edit shots spliced throughout, so that you get the effect of changing channels on a TV. And there is an ominous movie announcer voice that says “What if… this wasn’t your TV… and this was your mind?”

At first, I was sort of excited, cause I thought maybe it was like some new sci-fi movie where there’s like some shit about blurring the lines between media and reality or virtual reality or some shit. But no, it’s a fucking ad for some new drug.

But see, the trick is, they never even mention the drug. Nor do they mention that it’s a commercial for the pharmaceutical beast, Eli Lilly (I don’t think anyway). All the commercial is designed to do is to sell you on a syndrome, to convince you that you have a problem.

But this hits closer to home for some reason. I think it’s because the metaphor they used about switching through channels on a TV indicating a lack of focus. That’s stupid. That doesn’t mean that at all. Switching through channels on your TV rapidly means that you are able to keep a lot of things in mind at once, and that you are able to scan really quickly for important conceptual signals.

In short, it’s a non-linear style of thinking. Surprise surprise, that’s how your brain works, although school tries to train you into this other linear style. And the kids that are slow to adapt to that are labelled ADHD. But now you can get yourself some medication for it too. Why just dose up your kids, when you can have the whole fucking family tripping out on drugs with no track record of human consumption?

Why worry about the possible things you might be screwing your mind out of thinking when you can get this one fucking drug to help concentrate harder and make you a better worker at your company? Why worry about the possible mutagenic or other harmful side effects for a drug which was undoubtedly rushed to market, when you can turn off that ceaseless channel-surfing that’s going on your head? No reason! Take that drug! Get that prescription! Dose yourself up! Be a better worker! Be more productive! Whoohoo!

Afraid you might NOT have this debilitating disorder? Not to worry! Everyone has it! Prove it for yourself by taking this FREE six question quiz online! When you’re done, you can print out the nasty news, and take it straight to your doctor who’s in the pocket of a friendly pharmaceutical company that has a neat little pill you can take to get your life back in order!

HOORAY! Dose me up! Tell me what to do! Tell me what to think & how to feel! I’m too miserable to care anymore! YIPPEE!


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This entry was written by Tim Boucher, posted on November 11, 2003 at 10:01 pm.

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