What follows is a description of a really fantastically intense dream that I had last week, Saturday night, the night of the lunar eclipse and the Harmonic Concordance. The night that I spent researching the Hindu goddesses, especially Durga and Kali, plus I had been researching to Ishtar, and the idea of sacred prostitution at her temples way back in the day. Anyway, about once every six months or so, I seem to get a dream that I would venture to call “magical” or monumental on some huge important level that is really hard to explain. Like the dream is so big and so intense that it seems to actually enact some kind of change on who I am. I already told a couple people about this, but here it is, for the sake of posterity…

so in my dream i was walking around my old neighborhood in baltimore, and went down this one unfamiliar side street, and there at the end of it was this small little house sort of thing. kind of shaped like how the houses in the flintstones are shaped. theres a sign on the door that says its a strip club, but by “appointment only” and a bunch of other stuff which is intended to communicate, without actually saying, that its not “just” a strip club, if you catch my meaning. wink wink nudge nudge.

so anyway, somehow i get in, even though i dont think i had an appointment or whatever. i walk in and am lead to a small furnished living room with all the windows open and the curtains blowing in the breeze. there is a beautiful and mysterious older indian woman in the room. we sit on the floor on either side of a table, and she opens up this big book on the table, full of pictures of like blue-skinned gods with swords riding animals and stuff. she points to certain pictures that i should look at, and then she makes me read their names outloud, and the descriptions of them, as she holds the book up for me. im not too sure of the pronunciations, but stumble ahead anyway, vaguely nervous about the whole situation.

then we stop looking at the book, and i ask her “what do you know of kali?” and she doesnt say anything, so i say “what do you know of durga?” to which she smiles slyly as though she does indeed know something, and that it was a good thing that i asked. she of course doesnt answer though.

somehow after this, we ended up having sex. i dont remember the transition really, and its not important. it wasnt like your average sex dream though, or your average sex. like it wasnt about that at all really, it was some sort of weird mystical spiritual sex. Things become kind of vague here, because time and space kind of distorted, and everything bent around this bright yellow light. and there was some decision that i made, or some kind of good & right intention that i held in my heart while all this was going on, that made her transform into this light, and thereupon disappear altogether, like she had been freed from a spell, and was no longer in service to this form she had taken.

and the strange part was that she was supposed to be the one who freed or redeemed the person who came there to have this sacramental sex with her, like that was the function that she had in the form that she had taken. i guess its sort of like when you get wishes from a genie and then you wish them to be freed, except not like that at all, because it had nothing to do with wishes or me wishing she would become free… it also reminds me of the grail legend where i think its percival, who the first time he sees the grail, he has all these questions but holds his tongue, and is forced to continue his quest until the next time he sees it and he asks “whom does the grail serve?” and by asking that question, he breaks the curse that is laid upon the grail king.

lets see, so yeah, and when she turned into light and disappeared, like i could feel it in all of my person, as though something real and tangible inside and outside of me were actually being transformed in the process. and i woke up feeling somehow changed. and i was left with the impression that i had actually made real contact with the archetypal energies represented by the goddess durga specifically.

oh right, i forgot to add that the manager of the establishment was pretty angry after she disappeared and blamed it on me (rightly so) and made me stay and look over the place to see if she was hiding somewhere i guess. i knew she was long gone, so i humored him, and looked upstairs in her living quarters, which were oddly old-fashioned like from the fifties or sixties or something. anyway, shortly after that I woke up.