Oh man, I am looking at this awesome Christian fundamentalist article called TATTOO The Cup of Devils. Man, “The Cup of Devils,” that just sounds so cool, I can’t even stand it. They’ve already convinced me from the start how cool and taboo tattoos are. And then they launch into this bombshell of an opening paragraph:

Throughout history the tattoo bears the mark of paganism, demonism, Baal worship, shamanism, mysticism, heathenism, cannibalism and just about every other pagan belief known. The tattoo has NEVER been associated with Bible Believing Christians. And whenever and wherever, in history Christianity appears – tattoos disappear.

From there, they go on to list some of the best quotes I have ever seen about how tattooing originated as a magical rite, and how closely tied to spiritual matters and devotion the whole thing is. The quotes they use to show how evil tattooing is actually just end up showing how beautiful and powerful it can be. It’s totally fantastic. These people really did their homework, if with the completely opposite intentions. And I thank them for it.

And if all that goodness wasn’t enough, they suddenly bombard you with this HUGE ALL CAPS headline:

THE TATTOO’S GREATEST ENEMY. . . THE LORD JESUS CHRIST

Goddamn. This kooky Christians have really given me quite a good laugh. Thanks everybody, for taking yourself too seriously, and for misinterpreting the world in such a comedic way. It’s too bad all their zany misunderstandings lead to so much violence and pain for people, including and especially themselves.