This article is nothing short of incredible. Rather than try to summarize it, I’ll just paste in the best parts:

“ORANGE CITY, Florida (AP) — A mob of shoppers rushing for a sale on DVD players trampled the first woman in line and knocked her unconscious as they scrambled for the shelves at a Wal-Mart Supercenter.

Patricia VanLester had her eye on a $29 DVD player, but when the siren blared at 6 a.m. Friday announcing the start to the post-Thanksgiving sale, the 41-year-old was knocked to the ground by the frenzy of shoppers behind her.

‘She got pushed down, and they walked over her like a herd of elephants,’ said VanLester’s sister, Linda Ellzey. ‘I told them, ‘Stop stepping on my sister! She’s on the ground!'’

…Paramedics called to the store found VanLester unconscious on top of a DVD player…

…Ellzey said Wal-Mart officials called later Friday to ask about her sister, and the store apologized and offered to put a DVD player on hold for her…

I think that’s priceless that somehow during that scuffle, the woman managed somehow still to obtain one of these magically priced DVD players ($29 is mad cheap too, I can see why people were going apeshit) and protect her claim by laying on top of it and passing out. I also think it’s incredible that the Walmart corporation offered to “put a DVD player on hold for her” rather than just giving her one outright. Can’t they afford to lose the small profit they must be making on that $29 item, to make up for the outrageous behavior of their customers? You think they’d want to make good and avoid legal complications. But that’s fucking Walmart for you I guess.