I’m very comfortable picking my nose. Maybe it stems from having like monumental booger problems. Like I really NEED to pick it. I don’t get people who think its gross or weird. They just don’t need it like I need it.

Anyway, I was just sitting here at my computer, typing, picking my nose. You might think this a recipe for disaster. However, I’ve never gotten boogers on the keyboard. Ever! In fact, when I was in first grade, I had a computer class, which was “team taught” by two angry old lesbians. I didn’t even know what lesbians were back then, but I knew that they were stunning examples. Anyway, this one lady was sitting near me one day while I was like playing around with LOGO or something, and I went in for a covert nose pick, and she saw me and flipped out!

She was all like “That’s disgusting! Stop! You’re going to get it all over the keyboard!” But of course I wasn’t. Even then, I was an expert. No boogers graced that keyboard, or any other. But if they had, it would have been a blessing.