This is for Joyce, since I have been largely unable to determine the answer to her question about mysteriously getting a cut on the lifeline of your palm. My story is much weirder and I seemed to have turned out (more or less) fine…

When I was like maybe 10 or 11, I woke up one morning to discover that a single hair of about 1.5 inches in length had grown out of the center of my left palm. Completely overnight too. It had not been there when I went to sleep, I assure you. And it’s not that it had fallen off my head and somehow gotten “glued” to my hand. It was actually growing FROM the center of the palm, standing straight up. You could tug on it. It was attached.

Needless to say, I freaked out as soon as I woke up and ran to discuss the matter with my parents. My dad looked at it, scratched his head, and just yanked the motherfucker out. And that was that. It was all very anticlimactic. I was very much expecting some complex involved scenario to spin out of the whole thing, possibly involving doctors, x-rays and medical journals. Instead, one-two-three-YOINK! and that’s that.

Never since have I had any hairs grow out of either palm. Although I am getting some stragglers on my shoulders and back, in case you’re wondering.

There is of course that old wives’ tale about chronic masturbation causing hair to grow out of your palms, but that’s been disproven. Plus, this is before I even knew what that meant. Speaking of which, this is a pretty funny equation.