That was the hilarious title of a junk email I got this morning. Still not as funny as the one I got way back when which I will never forget:

SCARE OTHERS WITH YOUR HUGE COCK!!!

Why you’d want to scare anyone with that is beyond me… Anyway, just before I woke up feeling hung-over and beer-bloated this morning, I had a dream that John and I were walking down Howard Street from the Ottobar, and passed some kid who was holding a baseball bat. As we walked by him he went “Bap! Bap!” and pretended to hit us each with it. This, of course, was too much for me. I grabbed the bat, swung around, pulled out my knife and lunged at him. Only for him to swing more furiously, before running off. Seconds later, his friend comes out and starts shooting some kind of handgun at us, and we run down the street. Then I woke up to a phone call which I didn’t answer.

Man, I feel like complete shit. My favorite part of last night was when I cut my thumb on glass from a broken bottle, while in the middle of trying to break a second one. This has turned into a horrible fucking week…