Okay. At this point, everybody’s pretty well convinced that Anna Nicole is just an utterly fucked up miserable mess of a person. But this story, this somehow really takes it up to an amazing new level. A level which I find so shocking and bizarre as to be completely indescribable. Rather than try to summarize or paraphrase, allow me to paste in the goods:

“A ghost would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas,” she says.

“I used to think it was my boyfriend, and one day I woke up and it wasn’t. I was freaked out about it, but then I was, like, ‘Well, you know what? He’s never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem.’ ”

WHAT?! She used to think it was her boyfriend, but then realized, no, it was actually a ghost having sex with her? WHAAAAT?!?

Apparently, this was part of her revelations in July’s issue of FHM magazine, when she was asked what her “kinkiest sexcapade” was. If I was the interviewer and she said that to me, I would have went absolutely crazy. I would have started jumping around like a monkey smoking crack out of a banana. I would have been hooting and howling and hanging from the rafters, throwing my feces at her in shocked disbelief…

Damn, I can’t decide if this tops when Anne Heche went loco and started saying all that shit about aliens a couple years back. Whatever became of all that I wonder?