I’d like to take a little time out moment from occult investigating and talk about some matters of the heart. Although, I guess such things are somewhat occult in their own right.

Recently I’ve been thinking a good bit about relationships, and comparing notes with friends on the subject. And a few of them have heard this already, but plenty haven’t. And I think it’s worth sharing.

For me, when I’m really into somebody, it really sort of unlocks some kind of like wonderful side of myself. I think strong feelings probably do that to everybody. You can sort of become this romantic superhero. And that’s great, and it’s a lot of fun.

The big problem with it, I think, is that it becomes addictive. Almost to the point of eclipsing what is really happening in a relationship. Like the other person may not be treating you all that hot, but you get stuck in this sorta situation where you feel like you have to stay with them, like you need them. Even when you should by all means be dropping them on their ass.

Why do you stay with them? Bret mentioned something today about how it’s easier to stand still than to get up and live your life how it should be lived.

I agree with that.

But I also think it has to do with becoming addicted to this aspect of yourself which is unleashed in a fit of joy. And the trick is that you don’t ever realize that this good feeling, it may be coming from inside you. You may, in fact, be entirely responsible for it. And the other person, though they may be important in their own right, may also just be serving as a catalyst. They may fit a certain mold or image which allows you to draw from this deep well of love you have waiting inside you.

It seems like so many people just want to be “in love” and it almost doesn’t matter with who, or how wrong it turns out, so long as somebody else allows them to access this well within. And people will endure all kinds of torture within a relationship, all in the name of not losing touch with whatever is already inside them.

It’s really easy to confuse what’s inside you and what’s outside you, even though we’re raised by a scientific culture to think otherwise. The boundaries are far more permeable and slippery. And the trick becomes to become aware of who somebody really is, versus what you are projecting out onto them. And keeping your eyes open for when “The way you make me feel” actually should be labelled “The way I make me feel.”