What I’m talking about here is something that I’ve come up against again and again. This idea that for every person, there is some other person who somehow, archetypally/magically/spiritually/whateverly constitutes some sort of match. Some people might call it your soul-mate, or something like that.
I don’t personally believe that you have just one soul-mate. I think that’s a crock of shit. But I do put stock into this notion that you have a certain “type” of person who really sets you off, and who when you encounter them, everything gets like sort of short-circuited, and you just can’t help yourself but go for them.
You feel as though rendered powerless, like you’re pulled towards them with some sort of magnetic force, and like they hold some sort of secret about not only the universe, but also yourself - like they complete you as an entity.
So far, in my limited experience, this invariably leads to trouble. Big trouble. But no matter how much trouble it is, it’s so damned alluring that you just can’t look away from it. And, for me personally, knowing what it’s like to be involved in these sort of “cosmic match” relationships, it seems almost totally uninteresting to be with somebody where you don’t feel that sort of energy.
I’ve been wondering on and off for a couple years now about this whole phenomenon. Of who you’re drawn to, and what’s going on there. Whether you just have to keep testing out applicant after applicant, until you find the one who meets all your hopes & expectations. Or whether the person you’re really looking for to complete you is inside yourself. And all these “soul-mates” are really just reflections or projections of those parts of yourself which you both cherish the most, and hold the deepest inside of you.
I’m tending to think, obviously, that it’s the second explanation. That these people help us see who we really are, and bring that out. It’s almost as though, we’re unsure how to bring it out of our own person, so we go and find somebody else - or somebodies - who already exhibit those traits and qualities. It’s like a shortcut to self-actualization.
Not that these relationships are fake or meaningless. Obviously, they are important for what they are, and can be real and truly meaningful. Not to mention that by being with somebody who exhibits something we deeply desire, we learn a bit about becoming that ourselves.
But I’m guessing - and like everything, this is just theory - I’m guessing that what we really have to do with all this is become complete in and of ourselves, by using the image of what and whom we desire and are drawn to as our guide. Rather than getting this false sense of completion coming from someone or something external. As long as we are looking for completion outside of ourselves, we’ll always be looking. Because nothing in life is truly constant and will always be with you except yourself.
The theory here would point to what happens once you find this completeness in yourself. What happens once you become “whole?” As near as I can guess, without having seen it myself, that’s when the most profound relationships and love can occur. Where both people are whole and complete, and by coming together form an even greater and more beautiful whole.
Sort of like how those five lion robots come together to form Voltron.
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