I just can’t get enough of these Mark Morford articles. This guy fucking rules. Here’s the latest: Who Will Save The Children?! / Aww, heck. The FCC says curse words now cost $500,000! And your child might just hear one, and explode!

I’d love to just paste the whole thing in, but here’s just one juicy paragraph to whet your appetite:

This is what you are not to forget, ever: We are a nation wherein it is perfectly OK to show a dozen vaguely nauseating ads for erection pills and a hundred more touting the merits of slamming a sixer of Bud Light at halftime as you and your frat buddies ogle that chick at the bar as meanwhile the wife stays home and prances around the kitchen, high on the fumes from her new Swiffer WetJet. But a shot of a woman’s breast? Inappropriate and traumatizing, pal. Don’t like our hypocrisy? Move to France with the other perverts.

Okay okay. Here’s another one. But you really should just go over and read the whole thing, plus a bunch of his other articles. You’ll thank me later.

You know what scars kids? You know what traumatizes our youth and stabs at their innocent spirits like Dick Cheney thrusts at integrity? Kraft Lunchables, that’s what. Drug-happy shrinks. Refined sugar. Abstinence-only sex education. Gutted school-music programs. McDonald’s marketing gimmicks. Joe Camel’s head shaped like a giant penis. Bovine growth hormones. Homophobic adults with guns. Rampant hypocrisy, like legal Zoloft but illegal pot, or being sent to Iraq at 18 but you can’t have a beer until you’re 21.