Man, I just saw Cold Mountain on DVD. What a steaming pile of manure that movie turned out to be. Holy shit! And so goddamn long too! Incredible! Like, did this movie REALLY need to be 2.5+ hours long? Hell no! I can think of like a million scenes I would have cut. Who was responsible for this travesty? And the writing! Man! “Tiny diamonds”? Come on! That’s so retarded. And Renee Zellwegger won a fucking Academy Award? ARE YOU JOKING? They must not have seen her performance. HOLY SHIT! What a joke! I’ve seen turds put on better performances being flushed down the toilet! Seriously!

And why did that guy at the beginning have his clothes rip down the back and get blown off when that cannon blast hit? That made no sense! And don’t tell me that it was “symbolism” about how “war strips us down naked,” because they certainly didn’t mean that. I’m sure of it.

The one area this movie DID break new ground though, is that I’ve never seen a sex scene in a movie before (well, not this kind of movie) where they “show” a woman getting fingered! That was certainly a new one! Why on earth they felt it necessary to include that is beyond me. Did they even do that in Civil War times? Maybe the movie should have been about that instead of whatever weird screwed up contradictory message about love and nonsense it was trying to convey.

GODDAMN!

(One thing I did think was neat was that scene where they made her look in the well using a mirror to see the future. I don’t know if that’s really a popular technique, or was, or what. Seems cool though. Here’s a page on mirror magic, though they don’t mention that.)