Recently, a friend sent me a “mass email” urging me and many others to register to vote. This is, of course, not the first sort of email I’ve gotten like this. On one level, I think it’s great that people are sitting up and taking notice. On another level, I think it’s funny that everybody who is always urging you to vote, would be absolutely DEVASTATED if, once you were registered and did vote, that you went out straightaway and voted for Bush. Would they be mad, or would they be happy that I was out there “exercising my rights” and “participating in democracy?”

It’s been a while since I’ve written much of anything political here. I’ve been much more concerned with things like dreams, and esoteric research and personal development. But I’d like to just dip into that well of controversy for a moment, if I may…

It’s such a superb and delicious crock of shit when people say we are a democracy. It’s so hilariously scary when people announce with all seriousness that we have things like “rights” in this country. I mean, SHIT! Did anybody else see that there was BARBED WIRE around the Democratic Convention? Barbed freaking wire! And if protestors are found outside of fenced off tucked away “protest zones” (away from the cameras and media) then they get arrested! And they showed on the news, planes, helicopters, gunboats, tanks (okay, maybe not tanks) and tons of soldiers in full-assault gear patrolling around Boston. Like they were expecting a FULL-SCALE invasion. From where? From Cape Cod? It’s all imaginary. It’s all done to scare us.

Anyway, I could go on and on about that, but won’t because I just thought of a great image to use in describing why I think voting is such a sham. I thought of it while I was upstairs taking a piss. I’ve tried explaining it previously in terms like, “you’re giving up your personal autonomy” or “you’re writing a blank check in your name for the government to do whatever kind of evil shit it wants.” But nobody really responds to that sort of thing. Most people don’t believe they have any personal autonomy to begin with. They think that voting GIVES them power, instead of leeches it away from them.

But now I’d like to talk about it in terms everyone can understand: Santa Claus.

Voting is like writing a letter to Santa Claus, and sending it to the goddamned North Pole. I know, you’re thinking, but Santa Claus is such a beautiful story for children… Right, exactly. You sit there and make a greedy little letter begging for a bunch of things you want to have given to you, because you think you’re powerless to go get them yourself. Then you send this missive out, hanging chads and all, to some mythical far away land, where a benevolent old man sits, with nothing but your best intentions at heart (although he’s constantly watching to make sure you’re not bad). But you know what really happens? Santa doesn’t really fly around cramming presents down your chimney. What really happens, is that if you have rich parents, you get the presents you wanted and everyone is satisfied with themselves. And if you have poor parents, you just get a bunch of shitty knock-offs from the discount superstore. And you know they’re not really what you wanted, and you’re disappointed, but what can you do? You don’t have the means to go out and get the real things yourself.

Or do you? That’s what I’m trying to say about personal autonomy. Is that you DO have the power to go out there and get what you want, and make the changes you want. I think there is a Ghandi quote that says:

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

And that’s exactly what I believe, politically, personally, spiritually, whatever. I can anticipate the objections to this already, of course. I’ve heard them all a million times already: “Well, why can’t I vote AND go out and be a good person, and be active in the world in a concrete way?” I mean, you can, by all means, do. If you want to continue in the children’s fable that government is there to help you, that they “give” you your rights, that your little insignificant vote tally mark has ANYWHERE NEAR the kind of impact that a multi-billion dollar international corporation has on government policy. By all means, run out and vote! And do it proudly, and imagine yourself to be participating in some kind of Great Noble Act of Democracy. But don’t try to fool me or yourself that you actually have some kind of commitment to change and to personal & world betterment, when all you’re really doing is complaining occasionally, cowering in fear frequently, and writing a snivelling letter to Santa Claus once every four years (which is just going to get thrown in the trash by the Santa’s Elves, anyway).

And what are you going to do when you don’t get the presents you want: when Kerry loses, or when Bush steals yet another election? Are you just going to sit there smugly saying, “Well, AT LEAST I VOTED!” While you run around high-fiving and congratulating each other on your civic participation. Or even better, what happens if Kerry is (magically, against all odds) elected, and then he just does the SAME DAMN CRAP as Bush? Cause I assure you he will, although he might at least cloak it a little better (or direct it against a different ethnic group). Will you have finally and truly “Rocked the Vote” then?

Dear Santa,

How is the North Pole? Cold enough for ya? Anyway, I know you are busy with your elves, reindeer, Mrs. Claus (yow!) and everything, so I will try to keep this short. For Christmas, I would like the following:

1. To see people all over live their lives passionately and vibrantly.
2. For people to take charge of themselves, their minds, and their hearts.
3. To witness people making important & meaningful changes in themselves, each other and the world, through unconventional & unorthodox methods, which circumvent existing oppressive power structures, rather than supporting them.

Even just one of those three would be a great start. Thanks so much Santa. You fucking rule!

Your Best Bud,

Tim Boucher