Wow. This is super weird and seems fucked up. Apparently, all four branches of the US armed forces now have a policy that anybody serving, or their immediate family can get free plastic surgery, which includes nose jobs, face lifts, liposuction and boob jobs. All soldiers have to do is get the approval of their commanding officers for time off. Supposedly, the reason this policy has been implemented is so that military surgeons can “have someone to practice on.”

Does this seem balls-to-the-wall crazy to anybody else? I wonder if they got this idea while watching “the Swan” on Fox. Also, I wonder if it’s some sort of weird psyops morale trick as well. Like they figure our culture is totally obsessed with plastic surgery and associated nonsense. So, we can give our surgeons free test subjects, and simultaneously, we can more completely reconfigure the minds & bodies of our soldiers, making them evem more dependent on us to define their identity. It must work out perfectly from both angles. I imagine someday, that if this policy took off, that we’d end up seeing this big trend of military people having really creepy sculpted features, just like they were two-bit Hollywood stars.

Speaking of two bit Hollywood Stars, Mary Carey, the porn starlet who ran for governor of California recently lead a protest against this new army policy. The protest was sponsored by the company she fucks for, Kick Ass Pictures. Apparently, one of the selling points of KAP is that their stars all have real breasts. Hehe. Here is a hilarious tidbit off their website:

This 10 Man Cum Slam update stars Amber Simpson - The lovable sweetheart called Amber Simpson is the grand-master of a rare and highly acclaimed technique known as the “Three-Dick Delighter.” Amber spent years deep in the Himalayan mountains until she was enlightened by the Hindu sex goddess Urvashi, and subsequently granted the blessing of this divine technique. See it in action here, for the first time in the mortal world!

And speaking of humongoid melons… Scott Robb, of Alaska has grown the world’s largest cantaloupe, at 64.8, breaking the previous record by 1.3 pounds. Let’s hear it for huge melons! But just not for fake ones!