Keeping in the same line of thought as the last post, I’d like to look at this ClearPlay technology from another angle.

Does anybody remember that whole controversy that occurred over what was dubbed “The Phantom Edit“? In case you forgot, it was an unlawfully edited and distributed version of “Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace,” which a fan had produced with the intention of “improving” on the original version by removing the worst character of all time, the rastafied donkey-headed alien, Jar-Jar Binks.

I never saw the Phantom Edit, unfortunately, but I bet the removal of all the Jar-Jar Binks scenes vastly improved the movie. That’s what I’ve heard on the streets anyway. Although plenty of people, Star Wars fans included, also bitch and moan about how the Phantom Edit violates Lucas’s original artistic vision, blah blah blah, self-righteous nonsense. My opinion is, look, if you want to see the original version the way Lucas wanted you to, then go right ahead. No one’s fucking stopping you. But everybody else should have the right to interact with media however they want to. Obviously, if they are selling it, then other issues come into play. But I would have been curious to see if the Phantom Edit would have outsold the regular version, if both were publicly available.

I’d really like to see somebody put together a company like ClearPlay, which instead of censoring objectionable content, goes through popular movies, and removes scenes which are unnecessary, stupid, poorly written, or badly acted. Or you could take out subplots. Or you could have the ability to watch a movie, but remove all scenes which contain a particular actor you don’t like. Or you could have a filter which allows you to categorically remove scenes from any movies which occur in or around cars. How crazy would that be? You would end up with such weird streamlined versions of movies, and artfully editing content could become as much of a pastime as watching movies. Imagine watching a version of Batman where Batman never even appears in the movie. Or what if you could go in and change what background music is used at different parts of a DVD? Or, you could go in and change spoken dialogue too, I suppose, a la MST3K.

The possibilities are pretty much endless and interesting. Instead of enforcing draconian laws, and punishing people for interacting with media, companies should be encouraging it. They should be taking the lead of computer game manufacturers, who put together software kits so that you can go through your favorite games and create your own levels, and character skins, and all kinds of other rules modifications (mods). Then companies could promote contests for the best mods of their DVDs, and they could formally sell whatever ones became popular. It makes so much more sense than trying to turn back the clock and stuff the technological genie out of the bottle. But that’s fine, I suppose. I’m happy to watch as giant media dinosaurs effectively dismantle themselves with their policies. More power to them. Fuckers.