Today, I received in the mail my graduation papers from the Occult Investigation Correspondence School. I am now a fully certified occult investigator. I’m finally authorized to bear the official seal of the Occult Investigators’ Guild. Check it out:

In six months, pending successful completion of my probationary period, I will qualify for healthcare, and I’ll be allowed to increase my investigative fees to the standard union minimum. I can’t wait.

If you wanna join the Occult Investigator’s Guild, I hear they’re accepting applications.