The other day I happened across this excellent short essay by Matt Stone, co-creator of South Park, etc. It’s about how he grew up with no religion, then when he went to college, started envying kids who had. And then he stumbled into mathematics.
- But as hard as I tried, I just didn’t believe in my heart that Jesus died for my sins, or that he was the Son of God, or even that I had sinned to start with. The Old Testament didn’t hold much appeal either, so I couldn’t be a religious Jew. Islam was out because that’s not for white people. Buddhism was the next logical choice. Why not? Rich white people who don’t have the balls for a real god always find peace in Buddhism. But try as I might (and I did), I never quite got it. I could talk to you all day about Zen koans and Herman Hesse, but I never really felt it. That is the whole idea with religion. You actually have to believe it with all your heart. Then and only then will you wear the enraptured smile of Evander Holyfield. Whereas my agnostic upbringing had always been a source of pride to me, in college it seemed like the ultimate liability. I had a stop payment on my soul. My eternal happiness was being garnered.
It’s a good quick read.
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