I just found a link to this stupid article on MSN (surprise!) which promised to “explain” why Anna Nicole Smith was acting weird at whatever awards show she fumbled her way through last week. I mean, does anybody really need an explanation for anything that she does anymore? I thought she moved outside of the realm of real life and explanations long ago. Maybe it was back when she admitted in an interview that she repeatedly had sex with a “ghost” back in the day, because she thought it was her boyfriend. But when she finally “realized” it was a “ghost” she still kept doing it anyway. Or maybe it was when she married that super old dude, obviously waiting for him to die. Or maybe it was any of the million and one other times that she just comes off like a generally drugged out whore… Seriously. Of course, this article claims that her strange behavior was caused by her having “bad eyes” and not being able to read the teleprompter. Also, apparently her lawyer is named Howard K. Stern. No relation to the real Howard Stern, unfortunately. That would be fucking great if he was her lawyer. He could put together a crack defense team of midgets and porn stars.

Also, Noelle of hedgeblog just added this little jewel:

Have you seen the federal judge’s comments about her being as dumb as a box of rocks when he handed down the ruling that awarded her 88 million dollars in 2002? Pure comedy gold. They have it over at The Smoking Gun

One of the sections I read of that document actually said “Her illiteracy is striking.” Incredible.