I just came across Apple’s latest piece of chicanery, the iPod Shuffle, described by some as a tampon with buttons. And this is the description they have for it on the Apple site.

Welcome to a life less orderly. As official soundtrack to the random revolution, the iPod Shuffle Songs setting takes you on a unique journey through your music collection — you never know what’s around the next tune. Meet your new ride. More roadster than Rolls, iPod shuffle rejects routine by serving up your favourite songs in a different order every time. Just plug iPod shuffle into your computer’s USB port, let iTunes Autofill it with up to 240 songs(1) and get a new experience with every connection. The trail you run every day looks different with an iPod shuffle. Daily gridlock feels less mundane when you don’t know what song will play next. iPod shuffle adds musical spontaneity to your life. Lose control. Love it.

OMG! LOL! That is some of the fucking stupidest writing I’ve ever heard in my entire fucking life. “Meet your new ride!” This is the fucking dumbest idea I’ve ever heard. An mp3 player that you can’t actually control what goes onto it? Why in the name of fuckall would I ever fucking want that? “Daily gridlock feels less mundane when you don’t know what song will play next?” More like, “Your sad pathetic life feels less mundane when you don’t know what fucking shitty ass retarded fucking product some piece of shit company will try to cram down your throat next!” Why don’t we all just fucking give up now, if this is the direction we’re headed in. The “random revolution” my nuts! Hand me the fucking cyanide pills.

“Lose control. Love it.” It’s far too late for that. We’ve obviously already lost control. But as long as, “i’m lovin’ in™” then it’s all good, right? RIGHT?