No, I’m not talking about the current Emperor, I’m talking about a much more fun and awesome one from the middle to late 1800’s, Emperor Norton I, of San Francisco who declared himself Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico. He was a man who some claim was a schizophrenic, but who occupied much the same status as the Holy Fools of Russian religious history. He was well-known in the city of San Francisco and was treated with respect by locals. He issued a series of edicts in which he claimed power, dissolved Congress (by force), tried to get the city to build a bridge across the Bay and fined anyone who used the word “Frisco.” He additionally tried to form a league of nations and outlaw religious violence. He also issued money which was respected by local merchants (and is now very valuable at auction), corresponded with Queen Victoria, and had seats reserved for him and his two dogs at most plays and musical performances. He’s also said to have stopped a mob of rioters from attacking Chinese immigrants, and the city raised funds to buy him a new imperial blue suit when his old one got too shabby.

A scandal occurred in 1867 when a police officer named Armand Barbier arrested Norton, for the purpose of committing him to involuntary treatment for a mental disorder. This caused monumental outrage amongst the citizens of San Francisco and sparked a number of scathing editorials in the newspapers. Police Chief Patrick Crowley speedily rectified matters by ordering the “Emperor” released and issuing a formal apology on behalf of the Police Force. Norton was magnanimous enough to grant an “Imperial Pardon” to the errant young police officer who had committed the (perceived) act of treason. Possibly as a result of this scandal, all police officers of San Francisco thereafter would salute Norton as he passed in the street.

Norton was clearly much loved and revered by his subjects. Although penniless, he regularly frequented the finest restaurants in San Francisco, and the proprietors of these establishments took it upon themselves to add brass plaques in their entrances that declared “By Appointment to his Imperial Majesty, Emperor Norton I of the United States”. This vanity appears to have been tolerated without complaint by Norton. By all accounts, such “Imperial seals of approval” were much prized and a substantial boost to trade for such businesses.

There is also supposed to be a Mark Twain character based on him named “The King” in Huck Finn. The always annoying discodians also claim him as a saint. Anyway, he seems totally awesome and I think it’s great that back in the day people who were totally weird as shit were just tolerated and treated nicely by everybody. If this dude existed today (which he does in cities all over the country, I’m sure), he would be either treated like shit, institutionalized, drugged into submission, or sent to Guantanamo Bay under the provisions of the Patriot Act. Oh how the might have fallen…