Found this via Fantastic Planet, who pointed out that this truly is the headline of the year: Birthday party turns bloody when chimps attack.

Apparently an elderly couple were visiting an animal sanctuary which housed a chimpanzee they used to live with named Moe. Moe had been separated from them in 1999 after biting off part of a woman’s finger. Anyway, the couple brought Moe a birthday cake, and some chimps in a neighboring cage got jealous or something. Buddy and Ollie busted out of their cage and attacked the man.

The chimps chewed off St. James Davis’ nose and severely mauled his genitals and limbs Thursday before the son-in-law of the sanctuary’s owner shot the animals to death, authorities said.

[…] Dr. Maureen Martin of Kern Medical Center told KGET-TV of Bakersfield that the monkeys chewed most of Davis’ face off and that he would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose. Chealander told The Bakersfield Californian that the chimps also tore off Davis’ testicles and foot.

Apparently Moe was not involved in the attack. But then, neither did he stop it…