Via AltReligion, the Vatican seems to have decided that it was so threatened by the Da Vinci Code that it was worth making it the topic of a Good Friday sermon at St. Peter’s Basilica. I’ve written about how ridiculous I think this is already, but now I want to attack it from another angle. Putting aside the facts that the Da Vinci Code sucked, and that the whole controversy is boring, what’s really going on here?

This seems to have everything to do with version control over their story-system. The Da Vinci Code threatens to up-end the underlying story-system upon which they are built as an institution. So in order to protect the institution, they must protect the underlying story. It’s sort of like in trademark law, where you have to actively maintain and enforce your mark, or else you lose the right to exercise it.

Trademarks, unlike other forms of intellectual property such as copyrights and patents, must be actively used and defended. A copyright or patent holder may (in some cases) simply “sit on” his creation and prevent its use by others, but a trademark owner claiming and even registering a trademark that fails to make active use of it, or fails to defend it against infringement may lose the exclusive right to use it. Further, if a court rules that a formerly trademarked term has become so successful in gaining mind share and becomes “generic” through common use (and so the average consumer doesn’t realize it is a trademark), it may also be ruled unprotectable.

When a trademark becomes unprotectable, it is ruled as a “genericized trademark.” Examples of this are the words xerox, walkman, kleenex, zipper and a bunch of others. Back in the day, the Catholic Church had a clever system set up whereby they protected their “trademark” from “infringement” or modification. It took the shape of Inquisitions, heresy trials and even crusades. The offenders would basically be hunted down, tried, and possibly executed. Which served as a strong disincentive to others who might try to modify or question the underlying Christian story.

Fortunately for us, the Catholic Church doesn’t get to do this any more, and is left to making silly lame speeches that no one gives a shit about. Although, honestly, it would be kind of awesome if Da Vinci Code author Dan Brown was tried and executed for, if not heresy, then at least for writing a shitty book.