Two more additions to my celebrity tarot deck. This one I made today. It’s called The Virgin/Whore.

It’s loosely based on the High Priestess card in the regular tarot, which in turn is loosely based on the “Mother of God” myth appearing in Christianity as the Virgin Mary. Since Madonna essentially based her career riffing off this archetype, it seems only natural. People claim that the word “virgin” in antiquity did not necessarily mean that someone never had sex. It meant instead that a woman was “without” man, which could also mean that she was an independent property owner. Some such women in classical cultures were also sacred prostitutes… or so the story goes. They acted as incarnations of the goddess. A parallel tradition exists still today in some sects of Hinduism with the devadasis. Plus there is that whole psychological trend in the modern culture called the “Virgin/Whore complex” which Madonna played to a tee.

In her lap is Britney Spears, whom if you recall Madonna kissed on the mouth at that awards show some years back, and who used many of the media-sex-virgin-whore tactics Madonna pioneered to build her own career. Britney’s shirt says “Cult Member” which is a shirt Madonna “ironically” wore outside her Kabbalah center to gain media attention. I chose the Madonna of the trademark pointy boobs and headset era. Her headset connects to the boombox at her feet - since creative sound/energy is the basis of her strength. At the base of her throne are the words “Kabbalistic” which is from a patented t-shirt line she has. And the title of Britney’s song “I’m a slave 4 u.” Behind her is the “Kabbalistic” Tree of Life. I chose one with the wording in Japanese, because I feel like her effort to popularize the Kabbalah is trying to be exotic just for the sake of being hip. Enclosing her from the right and left sides are two pillars which are loosely based on the ones from the High Priestess card. In that card, the “B” and “J” stand for Boaz and Jachin, which were the names of the two pillars of Solomon’s Temple (these are also important to Masonic tradition). In our updated terminology though, “B” and “J” should be read together as “BJ” standing for “Blow Job.” Also, the BJ pillars (phalluses?) enclose the black area behind her into a classic coffin shape. The idea being the link between sex and death. In this case also, The Tree of Life behind her is also literally the matrix from which new life springs.

I actually made this image a while ago, but I think it fits pretty perfectly into what we’re doing here. He’s the Messiah (or the McMessiah). He is the crucified sun god, the redeemer who collects money for children’s hospitals. His blood becomes the sacramental ketchup which adorns the burger of the Hamburglar. The Hamburglar is rejoicing at the feet of his nemesis, during the hour of his greatest struggle. Soon the McMessiah will return though and rob the Hamburglar’s Luciferian domain, freeing the chicken McNuggets who are trapped there, swimming in lakes of burning barbecue sauce. Grimace stands at the feet of the McMessiah, weeping, about to faint. He is like Peter who’s faith was tested and he denied Christ’s name. Birdie hovers nearby, an angel sent from the Father above to comfort his Son in his final hour.

The McMessiah also has a dark side, of course. As the son of the “Kabbalistic” Virgin/Whore, he has a tendency to “sell-out” and put out sustenance which is of the lowest possible quality allowed by law. As Maddox once so succintly pointed out, the ad slogan “I’m loving it” is easily transposed into “Ailing Vomit”.