Are you worried that when the Rapture happens and Jesus sweeps you up into Heaven, your friends and family will be left behind scratching their heads wondering where the hell you went? Well, worry no more, friend! Rapture Letters is here to help!
After the rapture, there will be a lot of speculation as to why millions of people have
just disappeared. Unfortunately, after the rapture, only non believers will be left to come up with answers. You probably have family and friends that you have witnessed to and they just won’t listen. After the rapture they probably will, but who will tell them?We have written a computer program to do just that. It will send an Electronic Message (e-mail) to whomever you want after the rapture has taken place, and you and I have been taken to heaven.
How is this accomplished, you might ask. It’s a dead man switch that will automatically send the emails when it is not reset.
There you have it! Simple as that! Now all those pesky non-believing loved ones will know exactly where to shove it when Jesus comes back for the final cosmic “I told you so!”
Here’s a sample from the letter which will be sent out to your unfortunate family and friends:
This message has been sent to you by a friend or a relative who has recently disappeared along with millions and millions of people around the world.
The reason they chose to send you this letter is because they cared about you and would like you to know the truth about where they went.
This may come as a shock to you, but the one who sent you this has been taken up to heaven.
Here’s to rubbing it in everybody’s faces!
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3 Comments
Hilarious! The funniest thing is, there are all kinds of reasons people will fail to reset the switch, other than dying. Someone will be in prison for crystal meth, or living somewhere without net access, or converted out of the religion, or too busy raising a kid, or just slacking off, and suddenly all their friends and family will get an email saying “the rapture happened and I got sucked up to heaven.”
The webmaster of Rapture Letters is probably making a killing off selling confirmed email addresses to spammers.
In addition to the email address, he or she should ask for the bank account numbers of future raptured believers. That way the assets could be transferred automatically to the account of their choosing. It isn’t like they will need their assets after they vanish.
man, thats an even better idea for a business, isnt it… rapture insurance payoffs