I just discovered something rather creepy. It seems everybody’s favorite cult/punching-bag, Scientology, has been engaging in what amounts to a faith-based initiative to help prisoners for at least the past 15 years, if not longer. Their program is called Criminon. Supposedly it is a “secular arm” of Scientology though, although I don’t quite understand how religious organizations can have “secular arms” - but hey, the world is one crazy place.

Criminon has ostensibly a purpose I agree with: they are a “fierce opponent of psychiatry and antipsychotic drugs given to mentally ill prisoners to regulate their impulses and behavior.” I’ve read a good bit of anti-psychiatry material myself, and some of it is quite compelling. And I’m more or less totally opposed to drugging people into submission. But the real danger here seems to be with replacing one state-sponsored cult with one which is arguably not answerable to anybody and has rather questionable goals.

But if the treatment is effective, who cares, right? I know this will be pretty much the number one argument for Criminon. Plus it would save the state money and resources. If they want our criminals, they can have em! Right? I don’t know about that. I don’t really buy into the whole prison system as is, but let’s look a little bit more at the Criminon solution:

Criminon executives say that while the Church of Scientology and some of its organizations preach against psychiatry, Criminon focuses on rehabilitating criminals by restoring their self-respect. Its teachings are based on the philosophy of Hubbard, a science fiction writer who founded Scientology in the 1950s.

“L. Ron Hubbard’s social betterment programs,” Weinberg said, “are very much about helping.”

But she added: “One of psychiatry and psychotropic drugging’s worse nightmares is Scientologists. Let’s be real.”

Some observers say there is no difference between the church and its secular arms.

“They’re trying to draw a fine line,” said former Assemblyman Darrell Steinberg, who sponsored Proposition 63 last year to increase funding for mental health services outside prisons. Scientology was the most vociferous foe of the measure, which passed.

“The bottom line,” Steinberg said, “is that all of their programs fall under the umbrella of Scientology, and Scientology’s views on mental health treatment are well-known.”

Hm, well, that sounds pretty weird… but maybe it’s effective? Maybe they offer good solid therapeutic problems to help people with problems? Actually, they offer pamphlets. The whole thing is a correspondence course. Fucking weird, right?

An opening Criminon course for inmates is based on a Hubbard booklet called “The Way to Happiness” and includes 21 sections, followed by questions.

The readings cover basic ideas: People should brush their teeth and bathe, get adequate rest and be temperate and monogamous. They should honor parents, treat children well, be tolerant of religious practices and not steal or kill.

“The way to happiness does not include murdering your friends or your family,” one lesson notes. “It does not include being murdered yourself.”

Inmates who take the courses study such directives and respond to written questions in short essay answers. Outside supervisors grade their responses. To help the supervisors, Criminon provides instruction manuals.

Oh, so the way to happines does NOT include murdering your friends and family! Damn! I had it all wrong in the first place. If only somebody had told me about this ahead of time! Thank goodness for an anonymous pamphlet and quiz being sent to me in the mail!

I’d be really curious to see what the Criminon materials are like, and whether the whole thing isn’t just a recruiting technique for Scientology. It sure as hell seems like it is, but who knows. The whole thing deserves a great deal of further investigation.