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The Dude Question
Hey, how come there are so many more guys who seem to comment on this website than women? Is that because mostly males are reading it, or do the females just not enjoy the argumentative aspect of it as much? Speak up ladies. If you don’t the guys are gonna do it for you. I definitely get lots of emails from women directly. But I don’t know if it’s statistically more women that email me than men, or what. Never thought about it before. But it’s definitely clear cut in favor of the dudes as far as the comments go.
This is something I’ve definitely noticed in the culture (or occulture) at large. That there are certain things and lines of inquiry and exploration which men are much more drawn to than women. But then there are other approaches and areas which seem much more female-friendly, if you know what I mean. Being a dude myself, it’s hard for me to fully understand what the differences are. Are there things I could do to change what I’m doing that would make it more conducive to women to openly participate in? Just curious. Maybe I’m a chauvinistic pig and I just don’t realize.
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August 25th, 2005 at 8:23 pm
In my experience, I have found fewer women than men who are “into” this realm of exploration. I don’t think that the voice of debate / discussion on this website has anything to do with it: More likely, women just couldn’t be bothered with this subject. (And this opinion is coming from a gay man with a LOT of female friends…”
August 25th, 2005 at 9:12 pm
LOL. Cnosidering that I have your column feed on my lj flist, I’d say that the male faction are not your only readers. I think it’s mroe they’re worried about coming out of the, err, woodwork, as it were.
Also, do not underestimate the eternal pain of computer anguish. =^~,o^=
August 25th, 2005 at 9:32 pm
your not a pig, i guess more women just like to post directly to you then just comment out in the open, dont worry! -^_^-
August 25th, 2005 at 10:16 pm
I have definitely noticed issues dealing with gender. Not to kick a dead horse, but I posted this on Technoccult a while back, too:—
http://occultdesign.blogspot.com/2005/08/gender-matters.html
ps — Tim, the design and the pin… er, magenta, yeh, it’s all for you, man. Feel the love.
August 26th, 2005 at 12:47 am
Hell, no! You’re far from a chauvinistic pig, Tim. I read your column via a newsfeed on Livejournal, and very much enjoy doing so. I know that I can’t speak for the rest of the women in your audience, but as far as my comments, or lack thereof (I think that I’ve commented once) goes, it comes down to lack of time to comment. I’m usually doing four or more things at once. Rest assured, though–I love your column! Keep up the good work.
August 26th, 2005 at 1:42 am
Can’t speak for the other ladies, but I’ve found that I tend to attract some unwanted attention when I fail to keep my head down. This happens IRL, too.
Love your ideas, and I learn so much from the comments. Thanks, people.
August 26th, 2005 at 7:47 am
I’ve only been reading your column for a couple of months now but I do check it every day. I’ve also started posting comments recently, but only when I really feel the need to comment or ask a question.
In truth, I need to let some of these thoughts percolate for a while before I have anything to say. By then, the article I want to comment on seems old news. If it helps, I do bring up some of these thoughts in my religious studies classes (my minor).
August 26th, 2005 at 10:20 am
I read, but rarely comment. Mostly because others have already contributed in any way I would have done, and so I choose not to repeat others.
August 26th, 2005 at 10:51 am
oh, thats actually awesome!
August 26th, 2005 at 11:08 am
It’s not sexist. It’s an observation. Sexist would be to imply chicks don’t dig the weird stuff.
Conversely, I don’t see many men hanging around the romance novelist blogs. I’m confident that although most men don’t read romance novels, they have the same urges towards emotional fulfillment as women.
(See, that’s veiled sexism AND sarcasm, all in one package.)
Joyce
August 26th, 2005 at 11:24 am
Well, women, or at least, I do read and post …well until the discussions become more of a circle jerk than discussions, then I gotta get outta Dodge. What do I mean by a circle jerk?? Taking a perfectly understandable concept and deconstructing it ad nauseam and then congratulating each other on how smart you were to figure it out.
Re: rednecks remarks, not sure the type of women he is associating with, but the intimation is that women are either a) disinterested in spirituality or b) intimidated by content of this website. I would be careful to generalise all women based on the subset of your acquaintances.
The point is the world is a better place with people like Tim raising questions, but when it becomes too elitist and reductionist it loses its validity for me and turns into a wank. At it’s worst it becomes gnostic parody of the “Got Milk” slogan. These are simply my opinions.
Got Gnosis?
Well, you asked!
August 26th, 2005 at 11:27 am
SWEET JESUS! Thank you. What a relief to hear somebody else who thinks that. I fucking hate when that happens, and it happens far too fucking often. I’m really not sure how to stop that from happening though.
August 26th, 2005 at 12:10 pm
heheh, i know one way you could stop it from happening: take your site offline permanently.
it’s a great observation; i know i’ve been way guilty of this & it’s something i constantly try to be mindful of. but i also think it’s inevitable, and you just gotta go with it.
August 26th, 2005 at 12:52 pm
Tim, there is nothing for you to change, the discernment is up to the reader. Again this is my opinion, people’s egos get wrapped up in how clever or insightful their postings are, its not done purposefully, it’s simply the nature of people to want validation. We all want to be perceived as insightful, providing food for thought,and being spiritually evolved. One of the greatest spiritual gifts is discernment.
This is a very powerful learning model
question —>discuss—-> discern—->integrate
This from Buddha’s Dharmapada:
” There’s no Gnosis for one with no discernment, no discernment for one with no Gnosis.But one with both Gnosis & discernment: he’s on the verge of Unbinding. “
August 26th, 2005 at 1:10 pm
I think for a long time I was struggling myself with getting my ego wrapped up in it. And I still do, for sure, but I’m learning how to sort of wind up the toy, and then let it spin around the table top for people to play with. I guess everybody likes to play in their own way though, you know? Sometimes it gets a little tedious, that’s for sure. It’s good to hear that other people are onto the same wavelength as what I’m aiming for. It really helps me to hear that.
August 26th, 2005 at 1:12 pm
Also, I think there’s a point in learning about this stuff where people really do need to be able to pontificate and go on and on, just in order to train yourself to think, but also to get it out of your system, you know? I know I’ve definitely gone through that stage (and some might argue I’m still in it, but who knows).
August 26th, 2005 at 8:48 pm
girls, women, ladies, could you please do us guys a huge favour? if you sense a circle jerk emerging, before you leave the room could you toss a bucket of cold water on it? like: “guys you’re doing it again!” just so we know. that would be great.
i swear if we know we’re losing you we’ll try and come up with more subtle ways to show off.
August 27th, 2005 at 9:28 pm
I’m not absolutely convinced that this is an exclusively male trait.
In my travels on the internet I have also met women who are arrogant, self-congratulatory, quick to condemn other cultures, etc - this might just make them human.