the timboucher experience

This is just screaming to be made into a bad Hollywood thriller. It’s so far out that it would be impossible to believe were it not being reported by the UK’s highly respected Guardian:

It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.

Experts who have studied the US navy’s cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying ‘toxic dart’ guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet’s smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing.

Dolphins have been trained in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The US Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels. Their coastal compound was breached during the storm, sweeping them out to sea. But those who have studied the controversial use of dolphins in the US defence programme claim it is vital they are caught quickly.

And just why is it so vital that they’re found quickly? I’m glad you asked!

‘My concern is that they have learnt to shoot at divers in wetsuits who have simulated terrorists in exercises. If divers or windsurfers are mistaken for a spy or suicide bomber and if equipped with special harnesses carrying toxic darts, they could fire,’ he said. ‘The darts are designed to put the target to sleep so they can be interrogated later, but what happens if the victim is not found for hours?’ [...]

The navy launched the classified Cetacean Intelligence Mission in San Diego in 1989, where dolphins, fitted with harnesses and small electrodes planted under their skin, were taught to patrol and protect Trident submarines in harbour and stationary warships at sea.

Insanity… circuits… over-… loading…

Military dolphins have also been pressed into service evidently in Iraq. The European Cetacian Bycatch Campaign also has a big archive of articles about these military “killer” dolphins.

[Article found via the positively paranoid Cryptogon]

• Dolphins save New Zealand swimmers from shark
• Etheric Moons & Dolphin Brains
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• Improvisational Birdsong
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