If you’ve ever dreamt of having cold passionless sex with a robot, your dreams may be a little closer to reality. I’m not sure exactly when this first hit the news, but I just found it today. A German inventor named Michael Harriman claims to have perfected a functional sex-robot.
No, that’s not an illustration of the robot in question, but I did find it on a German website while googling for “robot sex” images to accompany this article. (I swear that’s why I was looking for this)
Anyway, back to the article about Harriman. These robots supposedly have internal heaters, and hearts that beat faster and breathe faster during sex. You have to pay extra for big boobs though… Harriman boldly proclaims:
“They are almost impossible to distinguish from the real thing, but I am still developing improvements and I will only be happy when what I have is better than the real thing.”
There’s also another news item I found out of South Korea which could someday go hand in hand with Harriman’s “research”:
Kim Jong-Hwan, the director of the ITRC-Intelligent Robot Research Centre, has developed a series of artificial chromosomes that, he says, will allow robots to feel lusty, and could eventually lead to them reproducing. He says the software, which will be installed in a robot within the next three months, will give the machines the ability to feel, reason and desire.
WHOOHOO! Just what we need…
Anyway, you’d think this Harriman guy would have a first-rate website though to sell these lusty robots on, but all I could find was a defunct site from the Web Archive here. Some of it’s intact, and some of it’s not - but it’s almost all in German. It does have some photos though. Man, is it just me or does this female sex-robot look suspiciously like Michael Jackson? Especially this image. Now that’s fucked up… There’s also this other site I found which seems to be affiliated with it called First Androids, which has some more photos of headless silicon female bodies. Neither of these seem to be offering anything for sale though, unlike that Ananova article would lead you to believe.
If you simply must have sex with something inanimate though, you could always try RealDoll or the Fucking Machines.
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16 Comments
I wouldn’t, but anton lavey would:
http://belial.org/enbib/libmisan.htm
fucking loser. seriously, how boring is that? what a limited imagination.
serial killers are also fascinated by inert and controllable entities too btw, eg dahmer, or the movie “the cell”
`Not sure I feel about this one, or how I would feel if I walked into someone’s house and I found (or they showed me) their creepy, noncharismatic sexbot.
But I do want to say, “Gigolo-Joe, whaddayaknow?”
ghost in the shell 2
Sometimes for pest control farmers release sterile males (or females). The flies mate with sterile partners and die without reproducing. Of course maybe RoBoHo2.0 won’t be sterile.
Tom Harrison
Did anyone ever see that futurama episode where aliens destroy earth because the humans are too busy getting it on with sex robots?
The Cell killed my family. I called Anton “I’ve known people who can spread out pictures of trains and streetcars and get sexually excited!” Lavey on the phone. He told me that it was a genetic thing. Robots don’t have genes. They are superior to begin with. No mortal can compete sexually with a machine. IO ROBOT.
LaVey said that wasn’t cool, because then the robots want to be treated “Fairly,” which is as bad as having inferior genes.
We should ask Rick Deckard about this ;0)
As far as I remember, he slept with the android chick didn’t he? For anyone who hasn’t read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, it will add a lot to your thoughts on love for “inert/lifeless” beings. Of course the androids in that story are a little more realistic than the fuckholes in this article.
If my girlfriend walked in when I was using a Sex Doll she wouldn’t scream because it looked like a real girl, she’d just fall on the floor laughing at me for pumping a plastic wacko jacko wannabe.
What the fucking shizzle! Come on why make a robotic sex doll if you could it with the “real thing” like i do (okay like all of us do). hehehe. I guess if you can’t get laid with a real women let alone approach her, i guess you robot sex doll if your really that desperate to get it on or at least try to sell it to some desperate loser and make money out of it…heheheheh (just kidding!) Look man! as the song goes “Ain’t nothing like the real thing!” God! We humans can be sick sometimes
NO SHIT!
http://www.bookrags.com/biography-dahmer-jeffrey-1960-1994-sjpc-01/
There’s actually a really cool word for this stuff: teledildonics. It seems to be more about virtual reality sex, but I’m sure sex robots are part of it.
As for which is better, a lot of people will prefer the robots. They’re uncomplicated and predictable and clean. Look at how porno movies have changed — in old porn people are like animals, and in new porn people are like robots.
Yeah, that’s a good point - especially moreso about virtual reality sex, etc. Like you wouldn’t necessarily even actually have to do it physically - you’d experience it all in your head and think it was real.
Anyway, the whole point about it being uncomplicated, predictable and clean is great because I think that’s exactly what makes sex, love and all the rest so awesome now - is that its none of that shit!
Also reminds me of that whole thing in Demolition Man where they have those weird sex headsets, and Stallone gets all freaked out by them.
Harriman shares the last name with one of Prescott Bush’s WWII corporate buddies. I wonder if there ius a connection…
these robots are for those who get aroused by new car smell.
i think women smell better. and personality comes standard! convenient.
and i love it when they talk back. dirtier the better.
lusty robots? let’s copulate. alright then. [muffled whirring] danger! danger! level 5 robogasm imminent. oh my manufacturer. [disengage] that was informative. let us do that again at precisely…
Only if it were a Telefunken u47 Pansexual Rotoplooker model. “All government sponsored Robots are safe and effective. You just broke a Pansexual Rotoplooker model 14, and you’re gonna have to pay for it.
“these executive types have plooked the f*ck outta me, and I still have to pay more debt to society!!”
Orbiting pods
Underwater domes
We fill our tanks with oxygen
To step outside our homes
Once it was hard
Now it’s just routine
I can’t tell the difference
Between people and machines
Love was a problem for our ancestors
It’s not such a problem anymore
Breeding as a science, proved it had no use at all!
And it mostly disappeared when we eliminated war
There’s comfort and control
It’s safe for you and me
People on the surface know
How hard life there can be
Why live in danger,
Why live with pain?
People on the surface
Find it hard to explain
And every little detail’s strictly monitored
We are given everything we need
Fed by I.V., we rarely need to sleep
There’s no pointless dreaming and our happiness is guaranteed
Quasi - “Our Happiness is Guaranteed”
Whoops! should be
There’s comfort and control
It’s safe for you and me
News from the surface shows
How hard life there can be
3 Trackbacks
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