[tmbchr]™

Would You Have Sex With a Robot?



If you’ve ever dreamt of having cold passionless sex with a robot, your dreams may be a little closer to reality. I’m not sure exactly when this first hit the news, but I just found it today. A German inventor named Michael Harriman claims to have perfected a functional sex-robot.

No, that’s not an illustration of the robot in question, but I did find it on a German website while googling for “robot sex” images to accompany this article. (I swear that’s why I was looking for this)

Anyway, back to the article about Harriman. These robots supposedly have internal heaters, and hearts that beat faster and breathe faster during sex. You have to pay extra for big boobs though… Harriman boldly proclaims:

“They are almost impossible to distinguish from the real thing, but I am still developing improvements and I will only be happy when what I have is better than the real thing.”

There’s also another news item I found out of South Korea which could someday go hand in hand with Harriman’s “research”:

Kim Jong-Hwan, the director of the ITRC-Intelligent Robot Research Centre, has developed a series of artificial chromosomes that, he says, will allow robots to feel lusty, and could eventually lead to them reproducing. He says the software, which will be installed in a robot within the next three months, will give the machines the ability to feel, reason and desire.

WHOOHOO! Just what we need…

Anyway, you’d think this Harriman guy would have a first-rate website though to sell these lusty robots on, but all I could find was a defunct site from the Web Archive here. Some of it’s intact, and some of it’s not - but it’s almost all in German. It does have some photos though. Man, is it just me or does this female sex-robot look suspiciously like Michael Jackson? Especially this image. Now that’s fucked up… There’s also this other site I found which seems to be affiliated with it called First Androids, which has some more photos of headless silicon female bodies. Neither of these seem to be offering anything for sale though, unlike that Ananova article would lead you to believe.

If you simply must have sex with something inanimate though, you could always try RealDoll or the Fucking Machines.

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19 Reader Responses

  1. Rev max Says:

    I wouldn’t, but anton lavey would:

    I find greater companionship in inert figures, animals and speechless artifacts, for I can enjoy their presence and there is no psychic drain. In fact, by their very stimulation in accordance with my tailored ideals, they provide me with not only entertainment, but food for thought.

    Why do I prefer androids to many “real” humans? Androids can be created, programmed and utilized exactly according to the master’s whims. They require no energy- consuming interaction in order to salve a non-existent ego. Yet even the semblance of an ego can be built into an android via actions and words - but always according to the Maker’s requirements. They can be shelved when they grow tiresome, brought back out when needed, modified in appearance, and destroyed without moral conscience. They are ideal companions. They never talk back, unless you want them to, yet you can insult them to your heart’s content. Insofar as work is concerned, that can be performed by either non-humanoid machines or humans of limited intelligence operating machines of greater intelligence. Androids offer splendid companionship when cast in the physical semblance of human beings.

    http://belial.org/enbib/libmisan.htm

    fucking loser. seriously, how boring is that? what a limited imagination.

  2. Rev max Says:

    serial killers are also fascinated by inert and controllable entities too btw, eg dahmer, or the movie “the cell”

  3. Ant Says:

    `Not sure I feel about this one, or how I would feel if I walked into someone’s house and I found (or they showed me) their creepy, noncharismatic sexbot.

    But I do want to say, “Gigolo-Joe, whaddayaknow?”

  4. human? Says:

    ghost in the shell 2

  5. Tom Harrison Says:

    Sometimes for pest control farmers release sterile males (or females). The flies mate with sterile partners and die without reproducing. Of course maybe RoBoHo2.0 won’t be sterile.
    Tom Harrison

  6. channel null Says:

    Did anyone ever see that futurama episode where aliens destroy earth because the humans are too busy getting it on with sex robots?

    serial killers are also fascinated by inert and controllable entities too btw, eg dahmer, or the movie “the cell”

    The Cell killed my family. I called Anton “I’ve known people who can spread out pictures of trains and streetcars and get sexually excited!” Lavey on the phone. He told me that it was a genetic thing. Robots don’t have genes. They are superior to begin with. No mortal can compete sexually with a machine. IO ROBOT.

    He says the software, which will be installed in a robot within the next three months, will give the machines the ability to feel, reason and desire.

    LaVey said that wasn’t cool, because then the robots want to be treated “Fairly,” which is as bad as having inferior genes.

  7. Dan Says:

    We should ask Rick Deckard about this ;0)

    As far as I remember, he slept with the android chick didn’t he? For anyone who hasn’t read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, it will add a lot to your thoughts on love for “inert/lifeless” beings. Of course the androids in that story are a little more realistic than the fuckholes in this article.

    If my girlfriend walked in when I was using a Sex Doll she wouldn’t scream because it looked like a real girl, she’d just fall on the floor laughing at me for pumping a plastic wacko jacko wannabe.

  8. Stephen Says:

    What the fucking shizzle! Come on why make a robotic sex doll if you could it with the “real thing” like i do (okay like all of us do). hehehe. I guess if you can’t get laid with a real women let alone approach her, i guess you robot sex doll if your really that desperate to get it on or at least try to sell it to some desperate loser and make money out of it…heheheheh (just kidding!) Look man! as the song goes “Ain’t nothing like the real thing!” God! We humans can be sick sometimes

  9. rev max Says:

    Come on why make a robotic sex doll if you could it with the “real thing”

    NO SHIT!

    In his late teens, Dahmer’s obsessions had begun to overwhelm him. So fearful was he of others that he could only relate to them as inert objects. In 1978 he committed his first murder, picking up a hitchhiker and bringing him back to his parents’ house where he plied him with beer and marijuana. As the hitchhiker prepared to depart, Dahmer killed the boy with a piece of gym equipment.


    http://www.bookrags.com/biography-dahmer-jeffrey-1960-1994-sjpc-01/

  10. Ran Says:

    There’s actually a really cool word for this stuff: teledildonics. It seems to be more about virtual reality sex, but I’m sure sex robots are part of it.

    As for which is better, a lot of people will prefer the robots. They’re uncomplicated and predictable and clean. Look at how porno movies have changed — in old porn people are like animals, and in new porn people are like robots.

  11. Tim Boucher Says:

    As for which is better, a lot of people will prefer the robots. They’re uncomplicated and predictable and clean.

    Yeah, that’s a good point - especially moreso about virtual reality sex, etc. Like you wouldn’t necessarily even actually have to do it physically - you’d experience it all in your head and think it was real.

    Anyway, the whole point about it being uncomplicated, predictable and clean is great because I think that’s exactly what makes sex, love and all the rest so awesome now - is that its none of that shit!

    Also reminds me of that whole thing in Demolition Man where they have those weird sex headsets, and Stallone gets all freaked out by them.

  12. james Says:

    Harriman shares the last name with one of Prescott Bush’s WWII corporate buddies. I wonder if there ius a connection…

  13. carlos Says:

    these robots are for those who get aroused by new car smell.

    i think women smell better. and personality comes standard! convenient.

    and i love it when they talk back. dirtier the better.

    lusty robots? let’s copulate. alright then. [muffled whirring] danger! danger! level 5 robogasm imminent. oh my manufacturer. [disengage] that was informative. let us do that again at precisely…

  14. Phrank Zappa Says:

    Only if it were a Telefunken u47 Pansexual Rotoplooker model. “All government sponsored Robots are safe and effective. You just broke a Pansexual Rotoplooker model 14, and you’re gonna have to pay for it.

    “these executive types have plooked the f*ck outta me, and I still have to pay more debt to society!!”

  15. Kylark Says:

    Orbiting pods
    Underwater domes
    We fill our tanks with oxygen
    To step outside our homes
    Once it was hard
    Now it’s just routine
    I can’t tell the difference
    Between people and machines

    Love was a problem for our ancestors
    It’s not such a problem anymore
    Breeding as a science, proved it had no use at all!
    And it mostly disappeared when we eliminated war

    There’s comfort and control
    It’s safe for you and me
    People on the surface know
    How hard life there can be
    Why live in danger,
    Why live with pain?
    People on the surface
    Find it hard to explain

    And every little detail’s strictly monitored
    We are given everything we need
    Fed by I.V., we rarely need to sleep
    There’s no pointless dreaming and our happiness is guaranteed


    Quasi
    - “Our Happiness is Guaranteed”

  16. Kylark Says:

    Whoops! should be

    There’s comfort and control
    It’s safe for you and me
    News from the surface shows
    How hard life there can be

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