Jeremy just put together what I think is a really interesting post about labels. In particular, about how so many of us are so vehemently afraid of labels. Like having a label is somehow going to infect us and destroy our souls for all eternity. Like suddenly all our options and limitless possibilities are going to be sucked out of us, and leave us a quivering empty husk of a person.
Where did this fear come from? Why is it so universal for people of a certain age or upbringing? Do you feel it like I do? This inability to comfortably call yourself something and to have it be accurate? This feeling like you’re always on the outside, in between roles and groups and definitions. When you’re in this position (which I personally have been for a looong looong time), it’s easy to make all kinds of intellectual justifications and crafty defenses of your uncertain status. “I’m an ontological terrorist!” “I’m a shamanic trickster at the cross-roads!”
Could it be these clever tactics are excuses built to cover our own refusal to commit totally to any one thing? To embrace our dharma like Arjuna in his chariot? To gladly accept labels and limitations and definitions isn’t a bad thing, as Jeremy points out. You can’t “fill” something unless it has boundaries, borders which give it shape. No wonder so many of us have such looming identity crises, such absurd sensitivity and defensiveness when challenged. We’re afraid the vessel is going to crack, or that somebody is going to find out we’ve secretly been building labels to put ourselves in.
So how do we get out of this trap? Or rather, how do we get into it? Jeremy offers:
Until we begin to accept our own limitations and approach labels not as enemies, but as welcome partners in our search for truth, we’re like ships without masts, floundering from coast to coast without ever settling in one port. It’s been said that Convictions make Convicts, and this is often true, but it is equally as often completely false. Convictions might make convicts, but the person without any certitude rarely finds peace.
Here’s something to try, for those label-haters who feel ungrounded: Pick something. BE something. Find a community in which to participate not just as a labelless observer, but as an actual participant! Allow yourself the freedom of limitations, call yourself something, and don’t be afraid if the label sticks. You just might be surprised!
So what are you? What labels do you wear proudly? How do you want to defined, and known? How do you decide where’s the right place to draw borders around yourself and say: “This is me! This is who I am, what I am, what I’m doing & why!”
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30 Comments
Absurdist-Introvert.
No one can be free from social constructs- but absurdity is a way to laugh and make fun of the self, status, politics, behaviours. I’ll crazy glue dioramas on my car. I have nothing of importance to say. At work I’ll constantly draw monstrous graveyards eating soul-making machines. I know death is king- fuck this capitalist system- feel spiritual like a cold bleak November day in New England.
And of course being introverted you believe the illusion society can’t fully corrupt you. Inner worlds composed of every fantasy ever made. I like being odd on purpose because it is fun. Why be serious?
” Dada is a state of mind. That is why it transforms itself according to races and events. Dada applies itself to everything, and yet it is nothing, it is the point where the yes and the no and all the opposites meet, not solemnly in the castles of human philosophies, but very simply at street corners, like dogs and grasshoppers.Like everything in life, Dada is useless. Dada is without pretension, as life should be.”
No fair to pick a label that defies labels!
If you want to do that, just say: “I’m a proud label-defier”. Don’t make up some big thing about Dada!
But more importantly, tell me why! Why is everybody so a-feered of taking labels? Seems to be a gigantic collective hang-up.
I don’t know if it’s a fear of labels, per se. I tend to eschew and avoid the whole “label” thing since I kinda recognized the label isn’t the thing, [the map is not the territory], etc. Effort made in choosing and fulfilling the expectations of any label would seem, to me, to be a wasted effort… Peace might be impossible without certitude [unless one makes peace with the fact that nothing can be certain] but false certitude to achieve peace rings hollow. To me anyways…
What did it for me is Democrats and Republicans. I wound up marrying a Canadian and heading north, but I spent my formative years in the states. The kind of party loyalty I saw growing up scarred me as far as political affiliation went, and even a bit when it came to any kind of label. Saying, “I’m a Democrat or Republican ‘because’ I believe this” is fine. But that was a very rare occurrence from what I saw. More often it was “Because I’m a Democrat or Republican, I believe this”. The second the label came on, the people stopped thinking for themselves and became the label, walking in step with whoever controlled the term. It doesn’t happen all the time to be sure, but enough to make me wary of applying any label too strongly.
I think some of it comes from labels being often used as a quick way to sort people into a like and don’t like catagory. It can, and often is taken to an insane degree. On fark today, for example, I saw a lot of people very quick to assume vast amounts of information about a person based on if they watched the daily show. I’ve seen the same with peoples decison to smoke pot, or drink. Fairly insignificant things, but it can turn into a “those people” thing with an insane speed.
But, I also have to stick up for labels as well. Like them or not, it’s how humans work. We lump things into catagories. I think in that case it’s important to be careful with labels, and recognise them as abstractions of particular behaviours rather than absolute predictors of every behaviour.
i wish i could find label!
everytime i think i have it figured out, my mind goes, what abou this?that?this? that?
kind of crazy like.
the only thing i can come up with is along the lines of pattern recognition. but this gets so broad it quickly bogs down in over-complexity. (there being so many patterns on so many levels, etc.)
i think people deny labels cause they are trying to buy themselves time to find one that fits.
I absolutely agree. I’ve looked all over though, and still haven’t found the right one. I’m not saying I plan on stagnating or anything though - I think that is another fear for people. But I’m ready to sort of put down roots about who I am and what I’m doing and what it’s all for.
On a totally unrelated search, I just found the best job ad listing ever, which totally plays right into this conversation:
Brilliant. I wrote to him asking if it’s generated any positive response so far.
Deep down in the heart, no one who is meditative is afraid of labels. It is an illusion. Accoding to the French psycho Jacques Lacan the unconscious fuck is structured like a language. There is the imaginary, real, and symbolic. The real can not be fucked by words. The real is emptiness. Taoist Ghost Dog says “emptiness is form- form is emptiness”
The fear of being labled, is the fear of being unduly limited. Words by their nature are limiting. The question is who gets to do the labeling? I live in my parent’s attic with my toaster. Technically I could be labeled by others as an archetypal looser. Or a lover of toasters. So I fear other people giving me a label? I want to be the one who labels on my own prejudices and biases. Let me be the one who labels myself the looser or lover of toasters.
lastly a person is more than the word used to describe them. Can’t we just be human beings? Not so hung up as goths, hippies, catholics, hindus, punks, weirdos, gypsies, conservatives? I think if you attach youself too closely with a word- you get closed up- stuck with the illusion identity is suppose to be this permanent thing.
“Learn to live with the fact we are all caricatures and multi-dimensional beings simultaneously. I love Italy and hate Italy- so I don’t want to be labeled as a lover or hater of Italy.” As my mother always never said
stagnation is a big fear. i think society is so into the ‘just do it’ philosophy that any sort of meditating on things, reflecting, thinking is seen as weakness. how many times have you had to sort of scramble or make something up out in public cause you dont have a neat explanation for what you are doing that people can grasp quickly?
happens to me all the time. i just go ‘uh, i make coffee’ cause thats how i pay the rent.
i hope to get to the point where i can state a case, you know, have some mettle. maybe it is that one just has to go for something even if its not perfect.
thats a leap of faith i guess. not supposed to be easy. like in indiana jones where he has to step into the canyon with the invisible bridge.
oh god, i know. and i hate it. i feel like a weirdo when it happens because i start waffling like crazy in that scenario. plus i dont even have a full-time job to use as an excuse. i have to cook up some kind of crazy concoction about websites, and writing and fring culture…
Damn yeah, we’re really on the same page here, aren’t we! I absolutely love that movie too, so the comparison to it really hits home for me.
As for Noam Chomsky above - I get what you’re saying. But dig what I’m saying: I don’t want to live in my parents attic with a toaster any more.
This all reminds me of the power of invocation. In chaos magic it’s not uncommon to find individuals invoking concepts, brands, television characters, et cetera, in order to garner some of the attributable strengths of such things.
I know I’ve been called many, many things, all of which fit to an extent. But I also feel free to do something one day that completely contradicts the prior label totally. In doing so, I find the strength in understanding them, but not living by them.
Some days you wanna be a nerd and play viddies all night long. Some you wanna go out and socialise. Some you wanna be sexy and aggressive and take something home and fuck it.
Invoking the nerdiness doesn’t work so well when out with female companions, but is great with some of the guys. And when I’m more raucous, sexual, I like being like that with my female friends. Some of my more “metrosexual” trendy friends are cool with it, too, but it’s not for everyone.
Sorta like that saying, Does the suit make the man or the man make the suit… we can say the same thing about the label…
Thanks for the commiseration Tim!
There’s an interesting article on edge.org where a computer scientist was talking about how his impression of being at google headquarters recently was like being in a gothic cathedral in 1200, like 200 years before the temple was to be completed, and the idea that we are all just putting bricks down in a future structure that has yet to be realized. it reminded me of your previous articles about the emerging consciousness of all this connectivity and the ‘artificial intelligence’ of the connected global web.
ps i love that movie too.
Oh my god! I never even worried about labels or being labeled before I read this post. Now my brain is agitated. I remember when I was younger- the Tarot my favorite archetype was the fool- childlike, innocent, playful. In astology favorite sign was Pisces- dreamy, poetic, spiritual. That is what I’d like to be.
But my actual reality- my conditioned persona is that of a polite, corteous, person who occasionally does odd things. I’ve realized doing odd things is only a psychological reaction akin to those who feel the need to cut themselves. I need to feel alive- feel something in this industrial wasteland. I work a boring office job. What are my options for freedom? I don’t like being labeled, because I resent having to work as a main activity. That is so depressing “i’m a pay-roll clerk.” I hate work. It is soul-sucking drudgery. I’d prefer being called a college drop out to pay roll clerk.
I’m a college drop-out. Payroll clerk sounds fine to me as well though.
What labels do you wear proudly?
I wear the label “James Russell”, and everything that this label entails, with pride.
Ugh, I’ve always hesitated calling myself a “Gnostic” because I’m so much more than that. My beliefs don’t pertain strictly to gnostic beliefs, and I’m open and receptive to truth in every avenue that it presents itself. Yet, I suppose I’ve gotten this hatred of labels and belief that they’re restricting and limiting from Robert Anton Wilson, as specified by jeremy when he quoted him saying “convictions make convicts.” But if I were to choose a label, I suppose I’d be most comfortable with gnostic. . . .it lends itself to the belief that something unforseen and altogether sinister is going on in this world, and that, in order to affect it in any lasting context, we have to step outside of the system completely. To be in the world but not of it.
Creativity-enthusiast. Designer. Movie addict.
Those are the ones that I’ll admit to. I guess I could add “artist” but I’m such a dabbler and I’m not sure what the requirements for that category are. Wow, yeah, this post really hit home though too. I’ve been fighting off the more popular labels for years, like some sort of scarlet letter on my chest. But after reading this post, I think I might just define myself with “Artist,” work towards it, and allow myself to associate with it without feeling like I’m pretending. Almost existential…
Maybe, the reason why we hate labels so much is because we feel like we don’t want them hanging around if we decide to change. That certainly fits my personality. Quite possibly, it’s the attention-span and genre-blending (and post-post-modernism) of our society that makes labels so threatening.
Man, good call… I always feel like I’m pretending with various things and that at any moment, I may be found out. (It’s never happend though - just a weird fear). Even with things for which I’m totally qualified, knowledgeable and legitimate. It’s wild. I feel very much like that’s wrapped up in all this stuff about roles and labels and concepts of the self.
My problem isn’t with labels.
It’s when people think one label implies another. The ‘package deal’ I suppose.
I’m Aaron, the vegetarian socialist.
i`m alistair, carnivorous realist. implications?, well, one can draw many conclusions. i do stand in awe of the google cathederal as it takes shape. watching that praedator run will be a sight to see. a fish that will eat smaller fish. but wait and see which fish will be big enough to eat google.
a bit more about labels. they are extensions of brands, which were burned onto the flanks of livestock to indicate ownership. to be labeled is to be owned. we are labeled from birth with a social insurance number and nobody really knows what the term social insurance number means. social insurance? insurance against what? freedom?
eye wanna define the label or the term because at least eye gno it’s provisional. eye’m sort of reactionary in some ways; like in improvisation, whenever someone has been able to pin down and point out certain things eye do in scenes a lot (it used to be an unconscious headbob, the stirring of a mimed cup of cocoa, an exclamation of “Sweet ass!” when something exciting happened), eye’ve consciously changed it just so as not to be pinned down. sometimes when someone’s called kmee a “nice person,” eye’ve then decided to display as an asshole. and eye guess eye like to have secrets for m’eyeself (is it like the japanese with their tatamai and honé?). that’s another reason. maybe it comes down to feeling a sense of control over so-called identity, but in the end people will define you, same as you define others, but that doesn’t necessarily make it accurate. yeah, so.
eye like the label of open seeker and meta-paranoid. eye’ve been that–mostly the first, though. eye’ll check out anything and dig deep into it, at least spiritually or intellectually, even if it’s supposed to be ugly and bad, even if it may very well be ugly and “bad” because eye want to understand it and play with it and see what it feels like. so eye’m an actor also, in a very broad sense.
right now eye choose the label hypnoprov mage. cuz that’s what eye want for m’eyeself. eye already do the improv on stage and want to be doing it more in life. eye’m interested enough in hypnotism nad NLP and have read a bit but am ready to get down in the dirty practicing and utilizing it–and improvising with it. same goes with magick (which, for now, just feels like a more ritualized and intuitive version of hypnosis and NLP, but eye could be wrong on that).
Good post.
what are “labels”? i’ve never experienced such things, and am inclined to believe they don’t exist.
are they just some kind of descriptor? if so, what’s the big deal? do we have to describe ourselves in just one word, or with a mosaic of adjectives? says who?
ahh, they’re some kind of code of behaviour, right? subsequent expectations like: “look at you sticking to the speed limit, i thought you were an anarchist.â€
or are labels just petty name-calling: terrorist, queer, label-hater?
or flags, badges of honour: patriot, vegan, gnostic christian?
or brands signifying ownership? yes that seems to be the best fit, encompasses all the lesser definitions, explains why people usually balk at the idea.
well, fuck labels. they’re stupid and dangerous. example:
gnostic christian? that’s an oxymoron. direct experience or blind faith, pick a fuckin side already. yes i’ve read the lengthy justifications and say “whatever, good for you”, but the label alone makes you look like a fuckwit. and it makes you easy to control because now i can lump you in with all the other “gnostic christians”. you used to BE someone, but as a label you’re nothing. nothing but the property of a concept, the definition of which is beyond your control (indefensible, remember?).
vegetarian socialist? too easy.
go on, call me a name if it makes you feel better, brand me if you want to own me, hit me with a descriptor if it’s a convenient substitute for thinking. none of it’s real so i won’t care. be surprised when i leap out of the box you made for me.
that’s 2 questions. defined? i’ll be defined when i’m dead. and if my life embodies the divine mystery, not even then.
known? by my actions. words fail.
i am the weather
Archon 1: Quick! Put that unpredictable lunatic in a box.
Archon 2: Which box? He doesn’t fit any particular demographic.
Archon 1: It doesn’t matter, just do something! Look at him running around all over the place, acting on a whim and shit.
Archon 2: Should I make a new box? Box-hater? Metro-something?
Archon 1: Shit man there’s no time! Put him in a fucking box now!
Archon 2: Terrorist?
Archon 1: Yeah that’ll do. We’ll make up something else later. Or not. Oh that reminds me, the gnostics keep trying to break out of their box. Chuck them in with the terrorists too, that box is stronger.
Carlos is a sharp tack, but try to keep in mind that labels aren’t confined to religious, political choices. We’re all slapped with labels when we’re born. I’m Cary, I’m an American, there’s some labels I don’t deny, but neither did I choose.
The thing with JP’s post is that it basically says: I’ve found my way, and now I don’t have time for you to find yours, so just pick something.
thanks for the comments, all– massive response & follow-up here:
http://www.snant.com/fp/archives/more-on-labels/
Hahaha. But the thing is, not having a label makes you just as “easy to control”. I think again, this is another big archetypal fear for people today. I don’t want to be easy for them to control. Meanwhile, what are you doing to make it not easy? Are you not paying your taxes? Do you drive around in a tank blasting buildings? Do you only buy organic groceries?
What I’m saying is: so what if the can control and predict your behavior? So what if somebody else defines you? Why does that have to necessarily stop your life from taking place? It doesn’t. You believing that it does is you letting them control and define you.
Hm, wild. I didn’t think it said that at all. I think it said that there is a value in commitment, and that certainty comes from making a deeply personal decision to stick with something and maybe even give up your notion of limitless freedom and possibility in favor of actual form, and presence in the world.
I think the best label to adopt is the one that people give you. It’s like a nickname: you can’t pick your nickname. I can pick aliases for myself all day long, but a nickname is something bestowed upon you, and it sticks like glue.
I notice that the only nicknames people give me are varaitions on my name: Jimbo, Hymie, Hamos, Jimmy, J, whatever… that tells me that whatever it is they think of me, it is in close relation to my real identity. So I am not bothered by those nicknames or labels.
Now, if they were calling me “Stinky” or “Dickwad”… welll, maybe I’d have to do some soul-searching, you know?
Thats a good point about nicknames. I hate when people try to give themselves one. It’s crazy. I also find it annoying when people tell me their name but then ask that I call them by their nickname. I wont call somebody by their nickname unless I feel like ive earned it.
I’ve also noticed that the best way to give yourself a nickname is to refer to everybody with a catch-all label, like “pal” or “buddy”. I knew a guy who called everyone “hoss”: now I only know him as “Hoss”; likewise, a guy we used to know called everybody “Tweaky” and after a while everyone would ask “Where’s Tweaky at?” and it was in reference to him!
Come the day I am ever christened with an unflattering nickname by a large group of peers, I will take a long cold look at myself and try to fix what has gone wrong within me, because ultimately it is another person’s reaction to me that causes me to self-reflect.
maybe it would make them switch up their efforts to control you, but without a label they can’t see you. the empire is blind without words.
precisely. damn, i thought i got that point accross. labels have no power other than what they’re given. i try to give them none.
nothing.
the empire never existed.
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