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Our Stories, Our Labels, Our Lives



A couple more thoughts on the topic of “labels” before I move on to greener pastures… Earlier today, Carlos left a comment which drove it all back home for me. In his infinite wisdom, Carlos observed: “all anyone wants is a cool story to be a part of.”

Though he didn’t mean it that way, it struck me that this was probably a better explanation of what Jeremy and I have been getting at about the power and value that labels have. What labels do is give us a short-hand way of talking about what stories we’re a part of.

A democrat doesn’t have an ideology. A democrat has a story about how they relate to things that are important in the culture. It’s a story about the decisions they make and the way they go through life. A Wiccan doesn’t have a religion, they have a story about themselves, about how they were raised, about their quest for what’s important in life, and how they go against the grain to find it. This is why when you hear Wiccans talk in mainstream media, they always repeat the same signals: we’re misunderstood, we’re not evil, etc. This is why Christian televangelists are always repeating the same passages and lines - because they are encoded, encapsulated shorthand descriptors of the story of how it feels to be a Christian.

Labels allow us to tell the bulk of whatever personal story-system we’re aligned with in the span of a word or a phrase. They can talk about our hopes, what we strive for, what we want to be like, what we model ourselves after. Conversely, people rebel against labels when they are inaccurate, or when the things they describe don’t describe them any longer, or when they’re simply not sure what story they want to be a part of. They just know they don’t want to pick one that sucks.

So if you’re somebody who hates labels or is cool with them, think about it like this: Make two lists, one of labels you’d give yourself. And one of labels other people have (or might) give you. Then, instead of getting into a tizzy over the whole thing, look at the story that’s being told in between the labels. Do these terms describe somebody who’s certain or who’s struggling? Is there something in the labels other people give you which is either more or less accurate than the ones you’d give yourself? Write a short story about a fictional character (not you - but probably somebody you’d get along with) who would fit all these labels perfectly. How would they look? Think? Act? Feel? Make a third list of labels which you’d like to someday be known by. How would your fictional character need to change in order to fulfill these newer, better labels? How would you need to change? What about your life story works - what doesn’t? If it’s a story, it’s within your power to make it better, more exciting, more interesting, more passionate, more fulfilling. Go for it!

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9 Reader Responses

  1. Fell Says:

    Kudos, that was probably one of my favourite of your posts ever. Concise and observant.

  2. zacharius Says:

    one often overlooked benefit to labels is that it allows you to sort the myriad inputs of life without becoming psychotic. if you’re able to live without them, then great, but most people can’t.

    your nervous system is takin in billions of bits of information every second, you’re consciously aware of like sixteen of them. without labels to keep a handle on the rest of that stuff when you can’t focus on them, you’d freak the fuck out.

    but yes, good post. i may cut and paste that one in to the alchemy for the braindamaged series at some point.

  3. Tim Boucher Says:

    i may cut and paste that one in to the alchemy for the braindamaged series at some point.

    Yeah, go wild. I thought of that, and realized I was covering some very similar ground to what you’d done already. Good times.

  4. Rob Says:

    Use the labels where they’re beneficial, to accomplish whatever it is you want to accomplish.

    But no need to identify with them.

    Just words, after all.

    Oooh, that’s all pretentious and chaos-magicky, innit?

    Sorry.

    I tend to think that by default we label things. People seem to be, naturally, organizing/pattern-id’ing/label making types.

    I think most folks would benefit from moving away from labels, as a general - extremely general - rule. Having done that, like a lot of folks who get into metaphysics do, then you can look back and see where using labels can be advantageous…

    My 2 cents and all…

    Great post.

  5. landruc Says:

    Struggling. Definitely struggling.

  6. Rachel Says:

    Hmm…

    There have been pleny of times in my life when I decided to actively change my “label”. When I went to college I told myself, “I’m not going to be that girl I was in high school anymore!” When I got out of college I tried to forge a new image for myself in the working world. The thing is… regardless of what changes I made in my life, I always ended up being who I was to begin with. And as it turned out, that was a good thing, not a bad thing.

    I’m all for self-improvement, and for taking steps to change your life. The things around you can always get better. But as for those nagging questions you were talking about: “Who am I? What am I? Why? Why! More! More!” I’m not sure the answers change as easily as our labels do.

  7. jackrednur Says:

    You know what I love about this site? Even when you claim that you’ll be too busy to update, you update with something both meaningful and resonate. And I love your little bit of homework at the end there. Like a Tyler Durden assignment, only more constructive.

  8. alistair Says:

    why not try to choose a label for yourself? one that really is cool. a lie that becomes true……we all see little flashes of what could be in our lives, but many just go, “yeah, right” . that`s a way to lie to yourself too. it just turns out to be less than cool. it`s really easy to just roll over and resign yourself to the mundane but dreaming a little,on occasion, does wonders for the soul and moves you a step closer to a different outcome. can`t win if you don`t buy a ticket…………….

  9. charlie Says:

    Rachel - yeah. I feel the same way. I’ve changed labels and habits a lot in the past few years - everything from changing random habits to invoking James Bond and knowing myself to be something sharp and dangerous wrapped up in sophistication. And yet there is something beyond these labels and habits, something that is always there, something bemused by my changes. I have tried to change, only to find the unchanging bits of myself. Rather than attack and hammer this out, I have tried to learn to love it. And that has been the best change I’ve ever made.



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