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Paintball Pastor, Part 2
I’m sure everyone remembers the amazing story I posted a few days ago about a South African pastor who decided to protest Halloween by taking his children out to shoot paintball guns (and BB guns, according to this article) at would-be trick-or-treaters. I mean how could you forget: it’s a great story and totally eminently Christian all around.
Well if you like that, you’re sure to like this. Not surprisingly, “progressive” attitudes towards violence run in the family. Go ahead and stop on ober to Frontline Fellowship’s website and read a little article by the good Paintball Pastor’s wife, entitled: Why Wooden Swords & Plastic Guns Are Essential for Boys. The image above is taken from that article, and features Mrs. Paintball Pastor and son with (hopefully) toy knives in their teeth, and the son sporting a manly toy rifle. (PS. The real file name of this image on their website is honest-to-god “mother&son armed to the teeth.”)
Under a sub-heading entitled “LORDS”, she explains what should by now be obvious to all of us:
Man was created to exercise dominion in the earth. The charge which God gave in this regard is frequently called the cultural mandate. Right from an early age, boys want to conquer and subdue, even if the terrain is only the backyard.
They are in training after all, and should be encouraged to become men who exercise dominion. They should be learning to be lords in the earth, and should be adventurous and visionary. This is difficult to do when they are only surrounded by videos and computers. If you have no backyard find a park, and let him conquer!!
But the absolute money part, the part which is the most sound theologically of all is this gem. This is one of the best things I’ve ever read:
Men who follow Jesus Christ, the dragon slayer, must themselves become lesser dragon-slayers. And this is why it is absolutely essential for boys to play with wooden swords and plastic guns. Boys have a deep need to have something to defend, something to represent in battle. And to beat your swords into plows prematurely, before the war is over, will leave you plowing for those who kept their swords. The Christian faith is in no way pacifistic. The peace that will be ushered in by our great Prince will be a peace purchased with blood. As our Lord sacrificed Himself in this war, so must His followers learn to do.
You heard it hear folks: the Christian faith is in no way pacifistic. Now, go! And make war upon the earth in Jesus’ name! Amen!
(Found via iafrica and altreligion)
- Pastor Leads Anti-Occult Paintball Raid
- The Informational Sacrament
- Jesuits, Becoming Death (Again)
- Communion
- Fake it till you make it!
- Prev: God is a Heretic
- Next: Alistair, On The Air
December 7th, 2005 at 12:47 am
am i the first to say it? MILF!
December 7th, 2005 at 12:58 am
So we “love thy neighbor” by conquering his backyard?
I’m almost speechless at how one can truly “follow Christ” and yet disregard everything HE SUPPOSEDLY SAID, for what is written about him in a dream (Revelations).
No wonder why Hory and others view Christianity with such irrational contempt. They don’t even know what they’re “following”.
That truly is BLIND FAITH, and one that leads to all the negative aspects of it, too.
December 7th, 2005 at 1:58 am
I meant to include this, but didn’t want to ruin the sarcastic tone I had going. But it’s stuff like this that really lends a lot of credence to the shit about people living in different universes from you that Philip K. Dick talks about:
http://www.timboucher.com/forum/viewtopic.php?pid=944#944
Maybe they really do live in a world where Jesus walks around with a sword, and this all makes a lot more sense to them than it does to me.
December 7th, 2005 at 5:32 am
perhaps, but then one would have to assume that they are thus reading a different Bible (or their reality completely ignores most of the Bible). If they were reading the same Bible, their beliefs stemming from it should accurately reflect the sum of the teachings, specifically the teachings of Jesus.
If not, then the world they are creating to overlap into “reality” only adds to the chaos, and specifically, the negative aspects of chaos. I truly don’t see the usefulness of this.
December 7th, 2005 at 12:37 pm
They miss, of course, the true Meaning of the Book of Revelations.
Which I reveal .
December 7th, 2005 at 1:50 pm
This lady and her hubby have a map of reality, not to mention christianity, which eye find pretty problematic, to use academese for “fucked up.”
where in the NT is Jesus violent? Sure, he overturned the money-lenders tables in the temple, but that is quite different from beating the shit out of them or running in with swords swinging. It was a theatrical piece of direct-action making a statement about the mixture of commerce and spirituality and exploitation of the faithful, least in m’eye reading. violence to inanimate objects (the lenders’ tables), not actual people. no conquering involved here, either… Jesus does say in one gospel, “I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” But again, this has to be taken in its context, which does not suggest a literal call-to-arms and any sort of military action. Jesus’ did not, in all of the “canonical” gospels (or in any of the “apocryphal” ones eye’m aware of), ever take up the sword himself. he was not a military leader. certainly, he had some zeolots in his party (judas for one), who were militant, if not military. but again, when one of the apostles took up his sword against a roman soldier, Big Jeezy told him to put it away and then reattached the soldiers ear. When this woman says that Jesus’ “sacrificed himself in this war” and that we, therefore should do so, too…she seems guilty of conflating two different connotations of sacrifice. Jesus’ literally allowed–he chose–to be a sacrifice in the Xian gospels. Not as a literal military combatant felled in some sort of literal battle against the armies of Evil Town. He went with no weapons, with no resistance, to a very non-military death. A public execution.
In the latter days of the Nazi regime, there was a debate among some of the elite as to whether christianity could be made compatible with fascism or not. In a darker moment, eye’d say that the prevalence of all these blood-thirsty so-called christians with heavy military and intelligence ties answers that with a big-resounding “yes.”
In another moment, it just reminds kmee how the structures surrounding any given label or system tend to change drastically overtime, thereby changing the character of the labelled system. christianity during the inquisition ain’t the same thing as “approved” christianity in 300 A.D. ain’t the same as American “patriot christianity” of 2005.
eye’m also reminded of the history of the Sikhs, apropos uv nothing: Guru Nanak was a high mystic (of the same sant tradition that later influenced the Radhasoami gnostics) and a pacifist as were most of the early gurus. Then the 10th guru (eye may have that wrong–as usual eye’m going from memory as opposed to bothering to look up m’eye references), takes up two swords and establishes a Sikh army, encouraging education in horse-riding and combat. Course, this was in reaction to attacks on the Sikhs and the assassination of a previous guru. Rambling…there’s some connection to what mainstream christianity has become in there somewhere. somebody feel free to run with it.
December 7th, 2005 at 2:06 pm
Well, there is one possible reference to Jesus as a military figure that I can think of. If you research the Harrowing of Hell, Jesus is portrayed as a conquering general who descends into the underworld, and throws down the gates of hell, freeing the captives there. This story was very popular in the Middle Ages, but has since been downplayed or removed altogether from most mainstream Christian circles.
It is I think a very interesting way of looking at Jesus, as a strong and brave warrior-king. And I think there is a time and a place for it. But I don’t think that time or that place is for waging war against other people or claiming dominion over the earth - as Jesus himself said that his Kingdom was not of this world.
I also do agree that children should be able to express anger and violence rather than just forcing them to bottle it up, and to give them appropriate channels to do so. But again, I think that has nothing whatsoever to do with Christianity. Here’s a good article about that called Violent Media is Good for Kids
December 7th, 2005 at 3:19 pm
Tim,
Great Catch,
I’m speechless, but not surprised.
Around my neck of the woods, we have a huge military and bible belt fundamentalist that equate patriotism -blind patriotism-with Godliness.
I am serious.
What the hell can you expect from someone who dares not question any aspect of their faith for the chance that they might roast in hell?
When our local hero, -
may his name ever be praised, -
Pat Robertson can pray to Jesus and petition the government to assassinate Chavez’ in the same breath, I truly wonder what kind of God they are praying to.
Needless to say, I haven’t made a lot of friends lately with that attitude around here….,* sigh*
December 7th, 2005 at 3:49 pm
What’s really interesting (though you may have already though of this, Tim), is if you equate the Demiurge to Satan, and thus the Cave, Black Iron Prison, whatever to the “underworld”. It then becomes, or already was, entirely gnostic, describing Jesus in more militaristic terms, yes, but still leading people out of their captivity.
December 7th, 2005 at 5:19 pm
DOH!
The computer ate my link: just click on my name.
December 7th, 2005 at 6:52 pm
I found the link interesting. Go to their home page and read the article about Islam. I wouldn’t be surprised if some radical islamist opened up a can of Jihad on their ass for that!
December 7th, 2005 at 6:58 pm
just did a bit of surfing. Looks like this people are US citizens. What is going on with our country?
December 8th, 2005 at 4:17 pm
in reading about the knights templar i found a concept of warrior monks who were bound to keep the faith and protect those who were unable to defend thier own position. these people we undoubtably soldiers of the highest skill and training. maybe theres an element of that thinking in the actions of the minister and his wife.
December 8th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
Well maybe, but that doesn’t explain shooting kids with paintball guns, does it?
December 8th, 2005 at 5:15 pm
no. that`s mental illness.