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Confessions About Confession
I was raised in a strongly Catholic household. I’ve not been a practicing Catholic since I left home when I was 18. (As I like to say, I don’t need to practice anymore, because I’m a professional.) Joking aside though, I got into several rows with my parents over the years based on - let’s say - doctrinal differences. One of the big ones was in regards to the Sacrament of Confession (also known by the more friendly name, Reconciliation).
The first time I ever had to do this was awful (as were all the other times). I was probably 12 or 13 years old, or however old you typically are when do such things (maybe it’s a little younger), and I didn’t even get to do the kind where you got to hide behind that screen in a dark little booth and talk to the priest. Nope! Instead I had to go into this totally normal room and sit in a chair across from a priest with all the lights on, and for God and all the world to see and hear you plain as day. I guess this was supposed to be a more progressive way of receiving the Sacrament, but I tend to think not all progress is positive.
I mean, there was a good reason why they invented the dark room with a screen so you can’t see the face of the priest as you’re telling him your innermost secrets. Although, to be totally honest, I never told the priest any of my real sins. I had a pretty standard set of true but not that embarrassing stuff to tell him - stuff like lying to my parents, cursing, being jealous. You know, stuff that was totally dumb, and I knew it was totally dumb. Nevertheless though, it was still hard to sit there and tell somebody that shit face to face.
I remember at some point asking my mother why I couldn’t just go directly to God himself and tell him that stuff. Why did I have to go through an intermediary priest? Why couldn’t I just pray and ask to be forgiven? As I recall, she didn’t really have an answer to that, or at least not one that I was satisfied with. It’s hard to remember the details after all these years, but I think she did allow me to gradually discontinue going to Confession after that.
My recent forays into exploring universalist Christian theology have lead me back around again on the subject though. If we follow this line of belief, everybody gets to go to Heaven, and everybody is saved - even the worst sinner. So if that’s the case, then why have something like confession? Why sit in a weird little room and have an awkward interaction with a priest where you tell him how many times you masturbated in the last month (a topic I, of course, never approached in my own days in confession)?
From a universalist standpoint, I actually think this makes more sense than from a fire-and-brimstone standpoint. The purpose of confession in this worldview isn’t so that you’re absolved of your sins - because God does that anyway, no matter what. Even if you don’t ask for it, you’re forgiven. So that’s cool. Then why go to Confession and ask for forgiveness? I think the idea is basically that it allows you to “get over” having done bad things. You basically just get it off your chest, rather than dwelling on it obsessively. You examine what you did wrong or could have done better and then you just let go of it. The past is in the past. Mistakes are forgiven and everybody goes home and feels better.
The question still stands though, can’t we just tell these things to God, rather than going through an intermediary? My answer is: probably. But I think the trick of it is that some people find it more difficult to be honest with themselves in their own hearts than they would telling somebody else. I know that sounds counter-intuitive on one level, but I really think there’s something to it. It’s one thing to have the courage to tell God (who won’t judge you) something you did wrong, but it’s another to be able to overcome the embarrassment and social awkwardness of telling another person your deepest darkest secrets. I’m not saying I’m going to run out and confess my sins to the nearest priest, but I am saying that I can understand the wisdom of the ritual in a much more profound way than ever before. What I take away from it ultimately though is that whichever path you take there, the most difficult thing is being honest with yourself and owning up to the things you did and didn’t do, and taking responsibility for yourself. That’s one of the biggest challenges there is, in or outside of religion.
December 20th, 2005 at 4:26 pm
My dad was raised Catholic but converted to Evangelical (fundamentalist) Christianity as a young man. Growing up, he always stressed the difference between confessing to a priest and cofessing to God. I guess he didn’t like the notion of confessing to a priest… and neither do I.
Funny thing is, as a kid I thought confession was cooler because then you get forgiven at the end of the week, which (in my mind) meant you could sin away the first six days and then repent on the seventh. But as I talked to more Catholics, I began to realize that not everyone is as cavalier about confessing sins as I am, esp. if the sins are weighty and hard to reckon with.
In a way, Protestant Christianity has made repentance an easier ordeal, because Jesus already died for the sinner’s sin– all the sinner has to do is accept God or bow down to Christ. No ritual, no mandatory baptisms or communions… I mean, non-Catholic denoms still practice baptism and communion, but not with the Catholic fanfare and importance attached.
What’s harder– to accept God in a blanket fashion, or to accept that you are not perfect on a weekly basis in the confession box? I guess it is a matter of personal taste.
December 20th, 2005 at 5:27 pm
There’s a classic Zen story about two celibate monks who are walking on a pilgrimage. They come across a girl who is very lovely and beautiful and sexual, and she wants to cross the river.
The young monk is attracted to her, and he says, “I’ll take you on my shoulders and carry you across the river and drop you off on the other side.” He does that, and the two monks continue on their pilgrimage until after a while the old monk starts to have a frown on his face.
He’s upset. Six hours, seven hours go by, and finally he looks at the young one and says, “I can’t believe you did that.”
“Did what?” the young monk asks.
“You carried that woman on your shoulders.”
“I dropped her off six hours ago,” the young monk says, “but you’re still carrying her.”
December 20th, 2005 at 5:42 pm
hmmm, not sure why that posted, i actually backed out the page first. Anywho, yeah, i agree, the purpose of confession is probably just being honest w. yourself.
December 20th, 2005 at 6:29 pm
I didn’t like confession, my priest truly looked like Sigmund Freud. Which is appropriate, the Catholic church made me feel so guilty. I could never masturbate more than once a year as a teenager. I remember how great it was when I could have sex with out guilt afterwards.
Anyways if it is true there are infinite levels of consciousness I do feel sort of sorry for the little sperm cells meeting their demise. Anyways the world is overpopulated, so I hope there are other worlds for souls and sperms to inhabit.
December 20th, 2005 at 8:36 pm
Why have something like confession at all? If you accept that God is omnipotent, it follows he must also be omniscient; if he can do everything, then he must also be capable of knowing everything. Consequently, whatever you do wrong, he’ll know about it without you having to confess it.
If people want to beat up on themselves in the confession box as a reminder of their own imperfection, that’s up to them, but personally the thought that God already knows my sins would be enough for me…
December 21st, 2005 at 1:36 pm
confession is part of spiritual growth. It doesn’t matter to whom you confess, it matters that you recognized the need for improvement. If you think that the goal of life is to get closer to god, then recognizing the desires and the acts that pull in the opposite direction will help you stay your course. If you think that since you are saved anyway, it doesn’t matter what you do in this life, you would still be wise in the long run to put the focus on spiritual communion with god, as chasing after material desires has proven throughout time to be essentially unsatisfying.
December 21st, 2005 at 3:17 pm
pre-suppositions are what drive us forward. if we pre-suppose that confession is a necessary part of spiritual growth then that becomes part of our behaviour. if we ask where the pre-supposition comes from then we see that it comes from the dogma of the church it`s self. if we have faith that the churches dogma is spiritually valid then we can proceed with confidence and sit in the box behind the curtain and tell the priest our sins. otherwise the discomfort is masochistic.
my question to catholics is about the spiritual validity of feeling bad. do you guys think that you are moving toward spiritual enlightenment through the process of confession?
my view is that we make better decisions when we feel good. we know this intuitively and through the examination of our own experience, so if we are being asked to feel badly on a weekly basis for our human behaviour and not being absolved by default then the disonance we are experiencing is going to take from our ability to make decisions, an important function of our lives.
December 21st, 2005 at 8:02 pm
Remember my old site had a tag line about how Jesus wanted you to confess your sins so he could hear all your good gossip?
I think you’re right on Tim. We SHOULD confess “our sins”, and not necessarily to priests but instead with eachother (I guess priests are people too).
What I’m thinking is something like grouphug.us ?
Confession is not only good for the person revealing all their sins, but also for the people who actually witness people revealing something secret and embarrassing and flawed in their character.
Whenever I hear someone tell me something private that’s been bugging them it makes ME feel liberated. Not because I feel like I’m better than them, but because it starts to feel easier for me to let go of all the things I have guilt about. There is a lot of weight from feeling that you have done somethign that no one else would ever do, and if anyone found out you’d be ostracized.
Confession is one way out. There is something really free-ing about sharing secrets. Something really intimate about learning your new roommate also got caught masturbating by his grandma.
Did I ever tell you my idea for a “Confession Booth” chat program?
Basically, all users start out as “sinners” and they
have to confess secrets to strangers who are “priests” (premium accounts).
If you admit a juicy enough piece of dirt, the priest can confer upon you an
“indulgence”. After so many indulgences - say five good secrets (and five good indulgences) you are upgraded to priest for a time being, so you can listen to other people’s bad behavior.
It sounds like heaven to me, but shit, I’m a gossip queen.
December 21st, 2005 at 8:10 pm
Wow, that’s totally awesome. I wonder if there’s a way we could really make that work. I was also thinking about something along the lines of a party line, except instead of partying, you leave a message about something really bad you did, so you can get it off your chest. Then you can also call in and hear about other people’s sins.
I can’t remember if this is real or not, but I feel like there’s some near-futuristic movie where they have sort of like electronic booths on the street where you can go and take confession at. Is that in Blade Runner?
Another thing that I was reminded of while reading this: supposedly, one of the things they do in the Skull & Bones initiation ritual is like (I heard, who knows if its true), they have to tell each other all their sexual histories (quite possibly while masturbating in a coffin). Now, that might be kind of extreme, but I think the same basic premise could really work.
If nothing else, I should set up a blog or forum in the Pop Occulture Network where I collect accounts of people’s sins. Seems like that would be totally awesome. Actually, I think I’ll do that! More on that to follow. What’s a good name for it?
December 21st, 2005 at 8:21 pm
I think I might just go with the name “Trespasses” as in “Forgive us our”… what do you think? Maybe I’ll get this up and running tonight!
Or even better yet: “
Forgive us our trespasses”December 21st, 2005 at 10:28 pm
I have one major reservation with confession.
Religious cults use confession of sins as emotional blackmail. The International Church of Christ, among others, advocates confessing your deepest darkest sins to the church elders, right before they pull out the Money Vac and suck up the contents of your wallet.
Yes, confessing is liberating, but it also makes a person vulnerable and susceptible to manipulation.
I’m not inferring that anyone on this board would use a “Confession Booth” program illicitly… but then again, we’re only human. Tread lightly in this area, if you must.
December 21st, 2005 at 10:41 pm
In a way though, what are blogs already except public confessions? Maybe they aren’t our worst secrets all the time, but certainly it can get very personal.
I do agree though about there being a danger in this sort of thing within groups where once they know everything about your life, they know what buttons to push to keep you inline.
December 22nd, 2005 at 6:42 pm
Blogs are but one perception of confession. I get pretty personal on mine, but I change names, fabricate events, and basically render it fiction despite using real people and events as the basis.
It is no longer confessional in the sense that I am not ashamed of anything I write down in my blog. But I might be ashamed of what I confide in a priest, best friend, or family member, because in all probability I will tell them the truth unembellished.
December 23rd, 2005 at 2:20 pm
I hated confession. I was a pretty well-behaved kid, so mostly it was an exercise in creativity. (It never occurred to me that making up sins could be interpreted as one) It had to be something bad enough for the priest to accept, but not so bad you’d get the big penance assignment.
We had confessionals, but only the adults used those. We sat in folding chairs across fromt the priest, who was never any that I got along with, but always one of the old geezers who just sat there and waited for you to talk. Yuck.