![[tmbchr]™](/journal/popocculture-blog-logo.jpg){kind=logo}
The Gay Stoned Gnostic Jesus
A few weeks back, I wrote a series of essays on the Christian “heresy” of Universalism, a doctrine which dares to suggest that Jesus died to redeem everybody - regardless of whether or not you believe in him. In my own warped universe, this seems like the most poetic and beautiful culmination of the Christian message - but what do I know? Probably not much, based on the letters from irate Christians that I’m still getting weeks later who are trying to prove to me that Universalism is “un-Biblical.”
I tried asking one of them why Christians feel so threatened by this idea of universal salvation, and was informed simply that it’s “wrong.” If only it were that simple. The fact of the matter is that the identity of Jesus seems to be caught up in our own identities somehow. Mainstream (meanstream) Christians think Jesus was talking to them only. Gnostic Christians say Jesus was a gnostic. Gay Christians say Jesus was a queer. Even stoners try to argue that Jesus healed using cannabis oil. Nevermind the battles around the Da Vinci Code’s portrayal of Christ.
Some of the arguments around this whole thing are really outrageous too, like this case of a UK Islamic group who declared a death sentence against a playwright for depicting Jesus as “King of the Queers.” I mean, I know Jesus is revered in Muslim tradition, but a death sentence? Craziness.
So who’s right and who’s wrong and does it matter? I’m of the mind that within the story of Jesus - just like in his ministry which included whores and lepers - there’s room enough for all comers. You want a seat at the table? The figure of Jesus not only says okay, but tells you you’re the guest of honor. And the feast is in celebration of you coming home. Your host disguises himself as you to make you feel at ease.
There’s an excellent passage in the Gospel of Philip by those crazy progressive gnostic mythographers which I only wish had been included in the regular Bible:
Jesus took them all by stealth, for he did not appear as he was, but in the manner in which they would be able to see him. He appeared to them all. He appeared to the great as great. He appeared to the small as small. He appeared to the angels as an angel, and to men as a man. Because of this, his word hid itself from everyone. Some indeed saw him, thinking that they were seeing themselves, but when he appeared to his disciples in glory on the mount, he was not small. He became great, but he made the disciples great, that they might be able to see him in his greatness.
So rather than squabble over what he looks like, let him lift you up and make you great too. Seems like a lot more fun in the long run.
- Just can’t get enough
- Rep. Ed Shrock’s Gay Sex Tapes
- Gnostic Jesus Different From New Testament Jesus?
- The Gnostic Seeking
- The stoned saviour
- Prev: Wheelchair Hunting
- Next: Google Eats Itself
January 17th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
The shephard left the 99 sheep to look for the lost one.
Proclomations to the effect of “god is going to do this or that” say more about the speaker than anything else.
Who are we to judge? (c.f. Job)
January 17th, 2006 at 4:09 pm
Man, I wrote a very similar post to this on my blog a couple of weeks ago, even quoting the same passage from the Gospel of Philip and coming to a very similar conclusion.
In other news, all hail stoned Jesus!
January 17th, 2006 at 4:11 pm
man, stoned jesus is AWESOME! that picture rules.
January 17th, 2006 at 4:27 pm
. Only kidding, i didnt really know what universalism was untill i just read about it but that is how i would envisage jesus. I think everyone gets there in the end its just 1 minute in hell could be a millenia. J.C. hoggs the spliff by the way, that must why he was floating when i saw him.
January 17th, 2006 at 6:10 pm
I wonder if any one saw the film The God Who Wasn’t There? http://www.thegodmovie.com/dvd.php
I guess there are a lot of people who deny Christ even existed. Could it be we are living in a world where no one is spiritually saved and no one is condemed? Takes the pressure off a little.
January 17th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
I wonder if someday we will have Jesus dashboard bobble headed figures for all types of people, fat Jesus, Ozzy Jesus, Japanese, Hindu, lesbian, baseball player, factory worker… Although I know there are figurines like that they are considered blasphemous or a slap in the face to the Christian religion, but what if they were accepted as aspects of Jesus with no hurt feelings? He only died 2006 years ago (or there abouts) so he is a fairly new godhead. Maybe in the next 2000 years he will melt into less of a symbol to revere and bow down to and more of a light hearted and fun background relic statuette like the Buddha idols. (I know some people do take Buddha idols seriously, but the majority of westerners don’t even realize that he didn’t actually have a large gut).
The whole “Jesus Died to redeem everybody” aspect to his existence is fine, but he was a great being before he died. Why don’t we focus on that more, and the stuff he did when he was alive? How’s about an icon of him smiling?
January 17th, 2006 at 9:43 pm
“I guess there are a lot of people who deny Christ even existed”
Well I don’t believe JESUS existed, but I maintain the Christ has always existed - many many problems arise when one confuses the two. One is evidently a literary character, the other is an eternal spiritual reality.
That aside, I came to the conclusion that we are all of us already saved, and that our perception of estrangement from the Divine is only an illusion perpetuated by those who profit from this misunderstanding.
Very thoughtful post!
J+
January 17th, 2006 at 10:53 pm
Don’t forget the old catchphrase, “Everyone gets the Jesus they want.”
I’m not so sure why there’s such a brawl about JC existing historically, in Malkuth. At least four other messianic figures appeared in the Levant during that time frame–it wasn’t unusual. If I remember, two were executed or killed in battle under the Pilate–who did exist, he got bad marks from historians and was so incompetent that he was recalled to rome and executed–and miracle working was something of a profession then, e.g., Simon, and Yani the Circle-Caster(I think that’s his name, it’s been a while) etc. Likewise, there’s a passage in Josephus mentioning Jesus, but that may have been a latter addition.
With regards to the gay jesus, there is a noncanonical “Gay” scripture (attributed to another Mark?) about JC hanging out with disciples and spending all night naked with one of the males but spurning the women. There’s also the childhood gospel, where JC Jr. turns people into frogs etc. for doing things like bumping into him, which was redacted for some pretty obvious reasons.
And in the final analysis, you’re right, what does it matter? To subscribe to the belief that JC had to exist as a material phenomenon is to subscribe to the idea that myth matters for nothing, which furthers the Ahrimanic agenda. It’s as bound to matter as “science” is. And bound to matter, those who disregard myth will die like all matter.
That’s too much. This world is insane.
January 17th, 2006 at 11:27 pm
Joe Chip:
Do you have a link to that? I’d like to read it!
January 18th, 2006 at 9:14 am
I quote a Christmas song sung by those flaming radicals Perry Como, Kenny Rogers and Andy Williams (with my one inserted verse which I would like to use in my “gay Jesus” screencplay “Hunting Bears”):
Some children see Him lily white
the infant Jesus born this night
Some children see Him lily white
with tresses soft and fair
Some children see Him bronzed and brown
the Lord of heav’n to earth come down
Some children see Him bronzed and brown
with dark and heavy hair ( with dark and heavy hair! )
Some children see Him almond-eyed
This Saviour whom we kneel beside
Some children see Him almond-eyed
With skin of yellow hue!
Some children see Him dark as they
Sweet Mary’s Son to whom we pray
Some children see Him dark as they
And, ah! they love Him so!
[Some children see him holding hands
God’s dear son who loves his man
Some children see him holding hands
with His beloved John]
The children in each different place
Will see the Baby Jesus’ face
Like theirs but bright with heav’nly grace
And filled with holy light!
O lay aside each earthly thing
and with thy heart as offering
Come worship now the infant King
’tis love that’s born tonight!
. . . ’tis love that’s born tonight!
(Words and Music by Wihla Hutson and Alfred Burt (w/ that one exception)
January 22nd, 2006 at 1:05 am
something odd and wonderful
in Bethlehem began
the holy Heart broke wide apart
and Love became a man…