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Meditation, Pornography & the Male Mind
Any conversation of gender differences tends to pull in all kinds of personal and cultural bias. Seems pretty much unavoidable. At the same time though, there are a lot of interesting conversations that can be had in these areas. One such conversation has begun to take shape in the comments to a post on Fantastic Planet, in a rather unusual way.
Jeremy’s original piece is about how strange it is that most paranormal phenomena tend to engage visual sense perception above the other senses. We tend to talk about people seeing a ghost, UFO or Bigfoot monster, rather than hearing or smelling one. It’s not that other senses aren’t engaged, but that the visual sense tends to be the one most highly prized within the community of people interested in such things.
In the comments to that post, Garrett takes this conversation in an interesting new direction:
I don’t know if this is sexist, or even vaguely true - but you know that idea that men are more visual than women (and women are more auditory)?
If true, is the emphasis on the visual because perhaps fortean [and paranormal] studies are driven by males?
It’s a very interesting line of thought actually. In my own limited experience, it does seem that men are typically more involved in studying strange phenomena such as this. That is, they’re interested in “sightings,” whereas women that I talk to will often talk about sensing a “presence.”
A reader named Lesa also left a good follow-up comment after Garrett’s:
[…] for many years I’ve been irritated that the focus of meditation for many people is to “visualize.” To my knowledge, we don’t even have an equivalent word for the other senses. Imagining a sound, or a tactile sensation, or a taste, or a smell, can be just as powerful an experience (if not moreso) than seeing something with your mind’s eye. How about the mind’s ear, etc.?
This reminds me of the psychological and sexual research which typically states things like: “Men tend to become more sexually aroused by visual stimulation therefore making the fantasy more likely to focus on the visual images of the imagined partner.” For “proof” of such things, simply look at the preponderance of pornography (ie, visual stimulation) for men versus women (although cultural factors and acceptance also certainly play an important role in that regard).
Anyway, the reason this all strikes me as interesting is that it makes me wonder if there is a hidden bias toward male-style thinking within not only sex, but spirituality and even paranormal phenomena? What are some examples of male vs. female-centric spiritual approaches (and I don’t just mean Mary Magdalene/Divine Feminine crap)? What are the differences - if any, between typical male paranormal/spiritual/psychological experiences and female ones? It’s not an area I’ve considered much myself before now, but it seems like it could make a great topic of discussion.
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February 3rd, 2006 at 7:20 pm
I wonder if the dominance of the male ego over all the activities of the male doesnt make religous pursuit a more dramatic and challenging thing for men. not that women are more “spiritual” but that the conquering of the ego in the male is a greater beast than for a woman, who are more likely to see themselves in relation to the larger picture as opposed to being the central star. Women in some cultures i am familiar with are more prone to mediumship and things of that nature. maybe they are hearing the voices that men can’t hear.
February 3rd, 2006 at 8:55 pm
I don’t agree. In my experience, women can be just as egocentric as men. No gender has a monopoly on that.
February 3rd, 2006 at 9:00 pm
Re: sightings. What about, um, “hearings?” One often hears of phantom footsteps and the like.
I have an amusing story along these lines. A friend of mine bought a house a few years back. Whenever she would take a bath she would hear knocking on the bathroom door. It kind of freaked her out. In a circumspect manner she inquired of one of the old neighbors whether her house was haunted. Her neighbor replied, “oh, that must be XXXX [some german name]; he used to live in that house. That would be just like him.” My friend decided that the old ghost, who was some kind of grim protestant when he was alive, was annoyed at her for being idle, so she started yelling back “I work hard all day long and I can relax if I damn well want to!” The knocking eventually stopped.
February 3rd, 2006 at 9:42 pm
Oh that’s a good point… I guess the whole rattling of chains and ‘things that go bump in the night’ refer to that - dont they?
I don’t remember where I read it, but there’s this ghost story I love where a woman would be washing dishes at the sink and would sense a presence behind her, and get really scared. One day, when this happened to her, she said out loud: “Well, if you’re going to stand there, the least you could do is help. Here’s a dish towel!” And needless to say the ghost never bothered her again. Or so the story goes.
RE: The ego difference thing with men and women - I’m not sure I put much stock in it myself, but there was a LOT of writing and research in that direction back in the “old days” of psychology. If you read Erich Von Neumann’s very interesting “The Origins and History of Consciousness”, you will find some very detailed theory and research about pretty much that exact same thing. Again, it’s up to the individual to decide if (1) any of that matches their own experience and (2) if it does or doesn’t, how much do you let a theory dictate to you your life?
February 3rd, 2006 at 9:45 pm
This is a good idea and bears some comments.
Most folks who’ve summoned a demon etc. don’t see it, so far as I gather, it’s more like a dialogue. Likewise, most “magickal” effects don’t take place in a realm that we sense so much as either experience or notice. Part of noticing is looking, but don’t forget overhearing, smelling, feelings–in fact, invocation seems tied into emotion and tactile sensation, as is energy work.
When I have had sensible contact with things, its either been in “astral” vision–which is more like a half-dream/brain hiccup–or a lot of hearing things… there’s this sort of half-sensed, half-imagined realm, where it’s like waking conscious recedes but not totally… And consider that most meditation, at least in old-school high-path raja yoga, revolves around either mantra or silencing thoughts.
I don’t want to get into the pornography debate, most “research” done on it is either from feminist theorists who don’t actually look at it… how will you tame a beast you won’t even contact? The other researchers are frat boys with wadded tissues and some bullshit armchair arguements.
That said, I think Ken Wilber was big on suggesting that meditative withdrawal, demon-taming, isolated practice, invocations in the middle of the desert, etc., were very male. Women just don’t do things alone often, it appears that there’s a certain degree of biological determination to that, particularly with the hormonal stress response in men vs. women, so their experiences tend to be group-enabled. Consider the spiritualist movement, one reason I believe it was so popular was that it enabled a woman to 1. get in touch with dead family etc., without worrying about getting on the phone with god the way a lot of males might, 2. rise to a position of some social power through mediumship etc. Likewise, almost everyone of prominence in the early Christian Science/New Thought movement was a woman.
February 3rd, 2006 at 10:23 pm
I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily true that most ‘visions’ appear to men. The majority of reported Marian apparitions, in the past century, seem to have been to female visionaries, and let’s not forget about all the visionary female saints of the Middle Ages!
I tend to be a bit wary of most attempts to address the question of whether there exists such a thing as a discrete female approach to spirituality, and whether it differs from a discrete male approach. Perhaps that’s just because I’ve so often heard it used to bolster a worldview in which men = violent, brutal, focused on dominance and women = peaceful, caring, intuitive, naturally closer to nature, and/or that women are the only ones who can truly connect with the divine because of this. I’ve known more than a few women who were happiest with themselves at the top of the power heap, calling the shots to others, and plenty of men who saw themselves as part of an interconnected web of nature (cf the writings of John Muir and others).
About visualization: My own experience seems to suggest that most humans are perhaps over-visual creatures in general, or are moving towards an excess of visual dependence as compared to the past (I used to hang around on several anime groups and forums where female posters, mostly teenagers, repeatedly demanded porn of popular male characters), and it’s good every once in a while to slow down and think about the enjoyment you get out of your other senses (I’m not just talking about sex here). But I wonder if the emphasis on ‘visualizing’ in meditation is after an attempt to emulate the experiences of dreaming? I’m not sure about anyone else, but my dreams tend to be composed primarily of visual images, with less emphasis on the other senses– at least, those are the components of the dream that stick with me and which I’m most likely to remember after waking. (On the other hand, guided visualizing doesn’t often work well for me, because my mind is apt to run off on its own and start producing different images from the ones I’m supposed to be seeing.)
I’ve never actually ’seen’ anything, in the sense of something I perceived with my eyes, that was unmistakable as far as occult manifestations go, although I’ve heard, smelled, and felt (in both the tactile sense and the ‘presence’ sense) a couple of things I haven’t, as of this point in my life, found a way to ‘conventionally’ explain. I have from time to time wondered how I might react to an authentic ’sighting’– would it be my Holy Grail, the culmination of all my searchings? Would it be my irrefutable proof of the existence of that thing? Or would I reject it as proof on the grounds that I could not prove it wasn’t a hallucination– would I begin to doubt my own senses if they showed me something which was that far outside of my ordinary experience?
February 3rd, 2006 at 10:39 pm
Channel Null:
Absolutely! The groups who research this have strong agendas which they wield like clubs to support or denounce a world-view. But then - hell - I guess that’s science in general, isn’t it? Just because it’s so fraught with misunderstanding doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be allowed to talk about it though - that’s what I figure.
JC Jones:
Me either - I really have no figures to back up an assertion like that, and really just offer up the possibility at all simply to strike up a conversation about some interesting issues.
I have - I’ve actually seen two things in full waking ordinary consciousness at very different times in my life. And whatever else, it’s pretty hard to deny something that’s standing in front of you. In my experience, you don’t really have time to ponder it, because it’s fucking freaky and you want to run away! It’s like, if a lion is chasing you, you don’t ask yourself what the significance of the lion is to your philosophy and worldview - you just run.
February 3rd, 2006 at 11:13 pm
Heh, interesting… I think ‘this is fucking freaky’ and ‘I want to run away’ sum up pretty well my reactions towards the things I’ve heard/felt/etc in my lifetime. I can only imagine that it would be exponentially more so if I really saw something. It’s paradoxical, because on the one hand I’m always looking for proof of things; on the other, as soon as I get near to anything which looks too much like proof, I instinctively start running away. The thing I want to see the most is also the thing I fear the most.
Is that the real meaning of ‘the fear of God’? Would I trust in its authenticity if it didn’t frighten me? It’s an intriguing point to ponder, anyway…
February 3rd, 2006 at 11:34 pm
Ha, if that isn’t life, then I don’t know what is!
February 5th, 2006 at 5:54 pm
I’m a guy and have the following to report:
Tim you state that you’ve seen two things. I’ve never seen anything but I did hear something once. I was raised by my grandparents. My grandmother passed away when I was twelve and my grandfather when I was seventeen. The house I lived in at the time of my grandfather’s passing was the one I had lived in my entire life. About two months after his death I was in my bedroom reading late at night with my door closed. My grandfather’s widow, a very obese woman weighing at least 300 lbs, had just gone to bed. Her bedroom was adjacent to my own. She had to pass by my bedroom door to get to her bedroom and trust me, as large as she was she didn’t have a light foot-step and the floors squeaked so it would be impossible for her to go by unnoticed. I also heard her shut the door to her room. Shortly after that I heard one incredibly loud knock on my bedroom door. I was surprised that I hadn’t heard her get up from bed so I just assumed that I had simply been deeply engrossed in my book and missed it. “Yeh?” , I answered. Nothing. I tried again. Silence. I was pissed as I got down off the bed becuase the book was great and didn’t feel like playing games. Walking to the door I opened it and looked out into the total darkness of the hallway. I can’t really describe my reaction but it was instantaneous. You’ve no doubt heard someone say that their blood ran cold? Mine did. I quickly shut the door and crawled back in to my bed.
I live in Southern Appalachia where there is a long-standing tradition (dismissed with contempt by my fundamentalist relatives) of “Rapping Spirits”. Things that knock or “rap” on doors during the night. Oddly enough I didn’t even think of the whole rapping spirit connection until many years later.
In my neck of the woods the accounts of audible phenomena are just as frequent, if not more so, than the visual ones.
February 6th, 2006 at 4:21 am
I have looked long and hard for other words like that myself and I believe that visualize has become synonymous with imagine, in a general sense. When I think back on old memories all 5 senses are usually there. However in meditation visualizing is, in my experience and practice, a tool to manipulate energy; if all things are waves and energy interacting with eachother in order to stimualte the hearing organs I don’t see a problem with SEEING, HEARING. For example, imagine waves of light entering your ears, your hearing blossoms like a flower trying to take in this nurturing light. In deep meditation you may actually develope an imagined audition.
As for verbs describing things like sightings, this list is what I believe to be literarily correct expressions.
weird sightings - sight
weird auditions - sound
weird touching - touch… dont miscontrue with feel
weird olfaction - smell
weird tasting - taste
“touching and tasting” are a little trite but heh.. a paranormal tasting would be correct usage I believe.
Anyways…
Well most of us have heard our teachers in elementary or middle/junior schools lecturing us about how some of us will be “auditory” or “visual” learners and should adapt our attention to work with that, if you ask around you’ll soon be under the impression that each person is unique in this so I would be wary of trying to make conclusions at all from this area.
As for women and occult: It’s hard to say (as this whole string of comments points out) wether or not theres anything special (or banal, even) with either sex when it comes to the paranormal. However, heres what I have to add:
I’ve encountered more women who achieve succesful results from rituals. In groups where many members interact in a ritual, a woman tends to be the spiritual leader and most awe-inspiring or imposing character.
In martial arts that focus on spirituality, especialy ninjutsu, masters will claim that woman have the ability to be more powerful than men when it comes to mastery of self and the art.
I agree, although I have heard of sightings. It seems that sightings are found more by the seekers who are trying to find it (ritual manifestations).
Likewise in my experience I have heard things. Awhile back I was with two friends deep in the woods at a place called the devil’s armchair. Its an area that is at a higher elevation than the rest of the surrounds that has a rock formation that looks like a big chair, leading up to this location is a stairway made of stone. Anyways we were trying to scry into the mirror and we didn’t know anything about anything except the ritual itself and a few readings into the occult so we expected a few things, but not voices talking and coming close to us. My friend was chanting his latin and focusing as the other observer and myself heard people talking and moving closer. We made him stop and the voices went away, we quickly ran. We had to go down the stairs towards the voices though (no choice)… there was no one around. I later saw eerie things but nothing that wasnt simply a “corner of the eye” type of thing.
(this is irrelevant) As for seeing scary shit, my friend led everyone i know into this scary area of the woods to play a prank on them, he was the one who scryed so he had a reputation for possibly being possessed by evil…haha, so a figure in black, simply a giant shadow appeared at the devils armchair and everyone ran down the stairs, another figure appeared and they proceeded to beat the fuck out of it only to find out it wasnt a demon, but one of their friends trying to play a prank on them.
Sometimes you want to run, sometimes you dont. Haha!
February 6th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
H.Corbin
February 6th, 2006 at 7:44 pm
we certainly have a visual bias in our culture. that`s why appearances are so important and the more substantial processing modes get diminished. we all have the capacity to process the auditory, olfactory, gustatory and kinesthetic but the majority of media available to us is visual. a synthesis of all of the modes of imput appear as magic, psychic ability, shamanism and psychosis. my personal view is that the majority of mental “illnesses” are an inability for some to deal with the bias toward certain modes of processing to the virtual exclusion of others. the classic case is a dogmatically visual teacher and a kineasthetic student. i had a client recently who`s child was in this situation and it took months before the child was finally moved to a different class. the child`s grades returned virtually overnight.
a cure for add? possibly.
February 8th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
[…] Breaking News
Hmm…men and “sightings” vs. women and presence. More here.
Author bio: Raised by a pack of wild housepet […]