I ask myself a lot what I am doing and why. I ask myself why I’ve been brought together with the people in my life who I am close with. I ask myself what binds us all together here on my website and on similar websites, places where we ask questions and investigate and study and ponder and talk.
What is it we’re doing? What do we want? Do we want God? The Truth? The experience of being alive and the wisdom to do it well? Some of us seem to want all of those things and more. Some of us seem to want other things, things more amorphous, things which we’ll simply know when we see.
It seems very rare when we all agree on anything. In fact, when we all agree and all share the same experiences, the conversations here and elsewhere tend to drop off. So if we don’t all agree and don’t all want the same things, what is it then? What holds us together, however loosely?
The only answer I can come up with is: seeking. As Gandalf says of Sauron’s ferocious hunger to retrieve the One Ring, “He is seeking it, seeking it — all his thought is bent on it.” The One Ring for each of us is different. The methods we use to seek it are unique. The actual experience of seeking it though, the turmoil experienced as a human in search of something - that seems to be what we all have in common.
So I wanted to ask the question - especially in preparation for the launch of several new projects - what does it mean to you to seek? What does it feel like? Does it keep you up at night? Do your palms sweat when you get close to it, does your breath speed up? Do you feel the rush and exhiliration of discovery one moment intermingled with feelings of failure, loss, and isolation when the target slips just out of reach again?
What are you seeking? Why? What would you give to find it once and for all?
- END -
ASSOCIATED CONTENT @TMBCHR (Auto-Generated)
- Seeking: Rideshare from Baltimore, MD to Manorville, NY on Dec. 23rd or 24th
- Seeking: Tri-Corner Hat
- College Light Opera Company Seeks Summer Theatre Technicians
- Bona Dea & Herne the Hunter
- Kickin’ it in Canada
10 Comments
I seek answers for the questions that are immediately in front of me. Some of them take seconds to find; others are still in the process of being found.
I don’t feel frustrated when I return to baseline, because you can’t have those “deep” kinds of days all the time.
Lately things are very surreal… sometimes I feel like reality is a fluid, everything feels very aetheric. Other times it feels like it’s all in my mind. The boundaries between myself and the universe get real fuzzy. It’s all just my imagination, I’m playing “Universe” like you’d play “House” or “Store.” But above all, I feel a deep sense of purpose, that I’m doing the right things. If your goal is self-development, then your goal is a process, not something you reach… in other words, to travel is to arrive.
I do web programming as a hobby, which has led to an insight lately regarding the concept of the Son of Man, or whatever you want to call it. (A prototypical being who represents or encompasses all of humanity.) In programming terms, that would be a class. A class contains all the properties an instance of that class (an Object) can ever have. Humans would be instances of the Mankind class. If the universe is really a computer program, couldn’t something like this be true? On a fundamental level, all we are is information anyway.
I dont’ believe that to be literally true, but it’s something to let the subconscious chew on for a while.
And yes, it’s frustrating to talk about something that must be directly experienced. Sure, instead of a blog I wish you had an Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test that we were all invited to, but a blog’s better than nothing. (Speaking of acid, have you ever experienced an honest-to-god Group Mind? Reality really IS fluid in that state. Maybe that’s where I got that feeling from.)
I guess I am still seeking a relevant comment back from Tim Boucher on Harretto’s opposing comment on illegal immigration. I mean yeah I guess I do want the truth and not this pansy footing around diversion topic, meant to buy Tim time or whatever. Let’s get to the real meat and potatoes man, why are you stallin’? Why you be stallin B??
“Nothing is worth seeking except Love.”
Hey Beer Gut (North Dakota)get your pee-pee out of the doll’s head and your eyeballs out of the mystical troll ether. You know its real tough of ya to send faceless threats to people born in the 20th century. I say get out of your mommy’s womb-basement and seek the pleasure of oral confrontation in real life face to face.
ON another note I like to have simple poetic pleasures. Nothing too complex- just being amused by the wind, faeries, and by interesting stories.
Now excuse me while I crap out little Bush demons into my toilet which leads to a Dali-like hell.
Here’s a comment on that for u ‘nana.
Haretto seems to have a lot of fear, and in his fear
and the resultant perspective and response problems,
he is confused and headed in a very bad direction.
I hope he gets helped and healed.
lol, oh ok, thanks “Anonymous” for that very credible reply… Of course we know that “Anonymous” people like yourself have all of the courage in the world, because the brave people are always the hiding Anonymous ones! Durrrrr…. Damn is this blog like a magnet for all of the fake idiot phonies on the web or what? And I think Tim is the one who is afraid of Harretto, that is what I truly believe… And my name is just a goofy satire on an already goofy name in here, that again no one has the real quip or fortitude to point out. Duuuur… Fake Quip = pundits of outdated “Scamp” and “Gadfly” terminology… yawnz… Ok cue stupid remark time from Anna Montana
(cue the drumroll please!..)
Oh yeah, and dur uhh… duh… I mean…uhh yeah I’m intelligent..err uhh, yeah umm… Harretto’s comment was copy and pasted from a forum in which I copy and pasted Tim’s topic on “A Day without Mexicans…” Harretto, a member of the forum I posted it in fell for the bait, came back with the retaliatory comment (mainly his fear and hatred towards mexicans), and I proceeded to copy and paste it in this forum… It seemed to have the effect of shutting Tim Boucher up, because Haretto is a Tim Boucher style program, however his comment was oppository to Tim’s original thoughts, so I guess that in some way had the effect of cancelling Tim out… Sort of an experiment I’m working on, to find out if Tim Boucher is some kind of matrix-style computer program, and how I can counter act that type of program with other similiar style “personalites” on the web… It’s an interesting experiment, however I was expecting more of a lackey supported comeback… Only Anna Montana and “Anonymous” and you aren’t really the smart ones in here… Hmm…
Well, good. Now that you’re done with your experiment, it’s only fair of you to tell us who you are…
Re: seeking… Me personally, I’m through with seeking, I think. It’s not that I’ve found anything, it’s just that I don’t think I ever *will* find anything. I’m drawn here more out of a sort of intellectual hedonism. I like to think about weird stuff and talk about it.
That’s a seeking sorts, but not in any highminded kind of way. My seeking, my agenda, is hedonistic. I want to feel good, or better than I currently do, and always in more refined, sustainable ways.
On an unrelated note, (this page’s comments are topic-spoiled anyhow) anyone see Bill O’Reilly today? It was on when I got home from work. (The batteries are out in the remote.) He had a catholic priest on debunking that Judas gospel that’s been in the news. This guy was discrediting the gnostics by saying that they “hated the body” and BO’R said “so you say they hated the body?” and the priest actually said “Yes… Body bad. Spirit good.”
So disappointing.
sometimes I feel like reality is a fluid, everything feels very aetheric. Other times it feels like it’s all in my mind. The boundaries between myself and the universe get real fuzzy.
This is why rational people are afraid of mysticism and magic, and why people cling to control structures. If everyone cottoned on to the magical nature of the universe, reality would liquefy. It would be pretty scary and weird.
What I’m seeking can be summed up in one word: liberation. Along with that is a desire to live in a world that’s more to my liking, and a way to take advantage of the liquidity of reality without losing my footing. My magickal studies are devoted more toward this second end.
I’m struggling a lot lately with the difference between magical practice and devotional practice, and trying to find a balance or synthesis between the two.
Plus I have this sick addiction to learning, and magick provides plenty of opportunity for that.
Totally!!!
As for what I’m doing here…. I’d have to agree with Zeno Izen that it’s pleasurable to come here and talk about metaphysics and spirituality with intelligent people. I learn something every time I come here.
Lissen up Banana bitch.
Here’s a smart and witty retort for u - suck my hairy ballz.
Mark S or whatever prentender, we all know u and yer crap.
Go join the nazi sympathetic team. Go be it’s captain.
To answer your useless question - only the sub-standard intelligences such as myself and Anna Montana are able to speak on your level, I suppose.
(BTW I love that name!! Oh so fucking much I could pee! Cause it’s reeeally important how u choose ur blog handle… of course u know that)
Bye bye little fuckstick.