A reader named Magic Grubb left a really awesome comment on a post earlier about conspiracy theory. And that comment reads (in part):

a lot of times in conspiracy theory circles the “connections” end up going something like, “Oh shit! Guess what?! Some crazy-ass just tried to cross the Mexico/California border carrying 15 bloody, gore-encrusted machetes and a garbage bag full of dead babies!!!”

“Wait wait wait!!! Did he have a…..MILITARY RECORD???!!!”

“……YES!”

“Oh shit!”

“Not only that, but he was a NAVAL OFFICER!! You know what that means!!”

“Fuck yeah, I do! ‘OFFICE OF THE NAVY’!! Which everyone knows doesn’t actually exist!!!”

“You know what else that means?”

“Miiiiiiind controllllll!!!!”

“MKULTRA!”

(Actually the connection points would probably look more like when someone on one of the conspiracy forums figures out that the guy carrying the machetes and the dead babies had an uncle that was in the CIA back in the 60’s.)

Does it make a real connection? not really. We have no way of knowing what that uncle did in the CIA. He could have been a typist for all we know. […]

My point is that I often wonder if the bulk of conspiracy theorists (myself included) wouldn’t be happier and more productive and have a better chance at carving out this new reality everyone’s always saying we need, if they’d write fiction rather than partake in the endless bong hit of conspiracy theory. I think a lot of people forget (I know I sure do) that their ability to gorge on information from prison planet or whatever is dwarfed by the power of their own imaginations.

I think this a really accurate and hilarious commentary on conspiracy theory. And if you liked that, then you’ll love my newest post on Conspiracy Fiction which uses the above style of tenuous connection-making to “conclusively prove” that the Amish are actually the descendents of lost Atlantis and are waiting in the wings for the Crash of Civilization where they will once again steward humanity through a Dark Age and ascend to power. The fun part of writing these fake conspiracy theories is how freaking fast your mind starts moving once you get into it. You start pulling in stuff like crazy in such a way that you almost (almost!) start to believe yourself. It’s really a good time - especially when you are able to free yourself from having to take it too seriously. Not that I think *all* conspiracy theory is as rickety as this, but it’s definitely turning out to be a fun and useful mental exercise for me.

PS. I also really love the point that Grubb closes with above: that the power that we have in our own imaginations to concoct stories and realities far surpasses anything that the bad guys (or even the so-called good guys) could ever really throw at us!