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Ash…



I gotta tell ya: these past two weeks with only minimal internet connectivity and my hands in the dirt… well, my paranoia and fear levels have dropped to an all-time low. I haven’t been stressed out about the state of the world, the country, the economy, the spiritual universe or anything in it. But here I am, back online for all of maybe fifteen minutes and my blood pressure is shooting through the roof. Been catching up at the lovely Cryptogon and while I appreciate that dude’s writing and research, it’s always stressed me out reading it. Now more than ever. And it strikes me how it’s an addictive kind of stress. The sort of thrilling fear you get from watching horror movies - to see the media paint a picture of a world spinning out of control. And it strikes me too that we are that media, as much as anyone else. We may think we’re helping, that we’re diminishing the fear and paranoia and lies that the MSM spreads. But are we? I’m not so sure anymore. Maybe our belief in an underground media is simply a marketing ploy designed to make us believe that the benefits of the technology that ultimately oppresses us are greater than the many and varied dangers and drawbacks it presents us

A couple weeks out of the streams of media has made me begin to think that our battle is not or should not be a media battle. It is not a struggle to manage perceptions and swing worldviews in our favor. Whatever that even means. What is it that any of us really want anyway? We feel like we’re struggling, but towards what? Our fight isn’t of media against media. All that creates is an impenetrable din, a cloud of confusion. That confusion is good and useful so long as you struggle against it and it transforms you, but at some point you have to step out and leave it behind.

Does this mean I’m shutting down my bog and heading for the hills? Hardly. But it does mean I’m going to be re-tooling and re-configuring. I don’t know where or how or why yet….

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7 Reader Responses

  1. Michael Says:
    September 1st, 2006 at 5:56 pm

    Hmmm. I’ve been a fan of your blog for a while, but i trust you not to screw it up.
    Just remember, a dose of paranioa never hurt anyone. Well, it has, but so have a lot of other things people do all the time.

  2. Gnomely Says:
    September 1st, 2006 at 6:18 pm

    I am not paranoid, nor depressed, nor frustrated. My energy levels are delightful. I feel no void in my soul, nor dread- I am very content.
    But it saddens me the world seems be going to hell! But it always has been.
    It is weird a culture that has been so deprogramed that there is an actual ‘mythical evil’ in the world. Evil exists and it is hard to understand- it transcends human reason to a large degree.
    Now most evil is complex, and of course it is lame to blame demons for everything when we have science. But there are demons and some are quite mean. I was watching Hauntings on Discovery and this poor 12 year old boy from Connecticut was poccessed by 8 demons! I learned if your friend or family member is pocessed never challenge the demon!
    Recently an excorcist from the Vatican said Hitler and Stalin were pocessed so it is logical to assume Bush and his right-wing lollipop heads are also pocessed by dark and sinister forces.
    As the world goes to hell, I guess there is another force moving in the opposite direction too. Anyways thank God for the creation of Zen and meditation!

  3. Tim Boucher Says:
    September 1st, 2006 at 6:22 pm

    But it saddens me the world seems be going to hell! But it always has been.

    My point is that it only *SEEMS* like it is going to hell. It is a perception which can be broken down and completely re-tooled so that one can eliminate fear, paranoia, etc and one can exist secure in the knowledge that the world is as it always was and we can exist in it and find our place just as others have before us and will after us.

  4. Gnomely Says:
    September 1st, 2006 at 7:23 pm

    I alyways felt Tim Boucher was a closet buddhist or Taoist underneath it all. And it seems at your present state your heart is closer to Zen buddhism than to having an ‘occult imagination’.
    Of course mindfulness, healthy eating, connection to nature are essentials to health. Of course speculations, conspiracies, media and old fashioned weirdness are not essential to health.
    But Perception is a creative act- It is fun to realize and live in an exciting world filled with so much creativite energy- and there are undercurrents, divinity, mythical forces all around.
    So I am glad to have a healthy ordinary reality life and at the same time I love knowing there is so much weirdness and mystery to life. It was exciting to find out angels and demons actually exist. And yet at the same time I have no desire to interact with them because I am more concerned about basic meditation exercises.

    “Human life in the world is no more than a dayfly. This is true not only of ordinary people but also of the wizards and buddhas of all times as well. However, though a lifetime is limited, the spirit is unlimited. If we look on the universe from the point of view of our lifetime, our lifetimes are those of dayflies. But if we look on the universe from the point of view of our spirit, the universe too is like a dayfly.”

    Ancestor Lu

  5. Drew Says:
    September 1st, 2006 at 7:33 pm

    i recommend limiting your internet activities to celebrity gossip, reading about music, and porno. everything always seems like it’s going to hell, but it’s not, and these three things always remind me that everything is fine.

  6. Rose Says:
    September 2nd, 2006 at 6:54 am

    Kryon says:

    There you are, lighthouse. You’re standing on the rock, aren’t you - shining your light. In fact, you may have found a place to anchor yourself, so no waves can wash over you and damage the structure. Not only that, you put yourselves on the rocks that are dangerous, haven’t you? Dangerous ground, you’re on, but not for a lighthouse. After all, that’s why you came, that’s why you were built. You’re a lighthouse.

    James Tyman talks about how you can choose to live in fear or in love, which is also the basis for A Course in Miracles. Tyman goes so far as to talk about how you interact and see the world…from a standpoint of love or fear. Of course, he puts it more eloquently. There was a whole series on peacemaking he did when we went to war with Iraq recently.

    All the more reason to dig in the dirt. :-)

  7. Tim Boucher Says:
    September 2nd, 2006 at 2:05 pm

    love or fear, huh?

    http://www.timboucher.com/journal/2006/08/29/two-sides-to-every-story/



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