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It’s Not Me - It’s You!
For the longest time, I have operated according to the belief that everyone who enters my life does so for a reason. Whenever I meet new people, I always look up the meaning of their name for some kind of esoteric clue as to what their purpose in my life might be, however small their actual role may be.
As a result of this quasi-New Agey “everything happens for a reason” sentiment, I’ll often find myself looking at and scrutinizing those around me, asking quietly the question, “What are you here to teach me? Why were you sent here?”
The thing I have begun to realize lately - and maybe it’s just me getting on in years - is that this is a two way street. It may very well be that people have been brought into my life to give me something, but it may also be that I have been brought into their lives to give them something. I have been thinking about this a lot lately then, from the perspective of, “What am I supposed to give to this person? What do they need from me?”
But I think realistically, there’s no way for us to tell. As penetrating as our insights and intuition about others may be, we can simply be wrong. Or we can be trying to give something to someone else that they aren’t really ready for, or that it’s only our own projections that they actually need it. And thus I have started operating according to the principle of: what other people need from me is simply… me. I have been brought into other people’s lives to share myself, to share my whole self, to not hold back anything about who or what I am. It’s as simple as that.
In the next few weeks, my friend Garrett and I are hatching plans to attend a variety of religious services: from an emerging church meeting to a Sufi dikr, to an Orthodox service, maybe a Unitarian one and who knows what else. This decision has been prompted by a number of things, but can well be summarized by an interaction over at a blog called Neosnoia, where a commenter called “pollenpath” writes:
Maybe going to church isn’t about you. Maybe belonging to a community (I don’t think people like us, who think “too much” ever have a complete fit because we think about it too much!!!) is a put your money where your mouth is spiritual challenge. It’s great fun to talk about it, think, read, etc…. but the deal is to live it in community with other people who will disagree, be annoying, be unloveable, and yet we will work out a way to love each other in Christ.
Whether or not that part about Christ at the end turns you off is your own thing. Don’t let hang-ups like that prevent you from soaking up the deeper message here: that maybe people don’t just enter your life so you can get (or take) something from them, but so that you can also be that for other people.
- No related posts
October 21st, 2006 at 6:31 pm
This lesson is one I’ve had to learn (and am still learning). Thanks for the reminder and the link.
October 21st, 2006 at 7:44 pm
It is not so much that everything happens for a reason, but that your energy vibrations draw the things and people into your life.
New Age Cheese http://donnamaher.com/vibrations-create-reality.html
October 21st, 2006 at 8:17 pm
Name change. I am sick of the name Gnomely, it outgrew me.
“Well I’ve been some far out places,
read the writing on the wall,
but today I walk with Jesus,
and together together we walk tall
And as we sat there talking Jesus turn to say me
“You better learn to love this life,
’cause there’s things things
that are hard to see”,
And as I sat there thinking
once again he turn to me
He said, “I’ve given you temptation, but these things these things have got to be..”
So I just sat and listened
to what Jesus said to me
Cause sometimes you got to listen to these things these things you just can’t see.
And while we were walking
once again he turned to me.
And as I looked into to his eyes his thoughts his thoughts just came to me…
Well some people never listen,
you know some people just can’t wont see
but I can see and hear these things
these things have got to be.” SpaceMan3
October 22nd, 2006 at 12:30 am
gurdjieff believes that we must attempt the escape out of this “prison” through the use of small groups because we do not have the energy or concentration of will in order to do it alone. this group must consist of those who’ve developed specific abilities within.
first off, the individual must develop himself before seeking the support of a group, or else there will be no chance at benefit from it. the time would not be right and all potential knowledge which could be taken used from it would not even be a possibility.
in order to work well in a group, you must work well with yourself.
October 22nd, 2006 at 11:38 am
What Gurdjieff was saying Aditi is that you have to start somewhere , and that obvious place is yourself.
Gurdjieff was brilliant. One of the greatest of all humans in the sense of devoting his life to waking people up to the reality of the situation, and not the terror of the situation that humans have made for themselves.
One person such as Gurddjieff can , and has changed the destiny of the world. This one personality has shaped and changed so many, and started so many threads of thinking about meaning and belief.
October 22nd, 2006 at 12:34 pm
Skip -
That’s not all that he was saying in reference to group work. There are MANY teachings of his not exposed so easily through his writings, or the presumed understandings of Ouspensky, Bennett, Salzmann, etc. Start playing the music and doing the dances and reading simultaneously and doing the exercises and then tell me what your interepretation is.
October 22nd, 2006 at 9:26 pm
I have read the people you mention Aditi , and I also have in my possession a bunch of Gurdieffs recorded music written out by Salzmann. I have studied the subject extensively and while not perhaps a foremost expert consider myself pretty well versed in it.
“Gurdjieff was also very profoundly influence by esoteric Islam or Sufism , and many people think that although it is thought that his jumping off point is the Gospels , it is argued that it was from ancient knowledge passed down from the Assyrian ideas through a school that existed in Mosel in northern Iraq.
I could go on but I won`t. The point I am getting at is that I am always glad when people bring up Gurdjieff and it makes sense to bring him up in the context at hand as he influenced so many people , and changed so many people as a direct result of meeting him.
He turned peoples lives upside down with his ideas , he made people think , he shocked people sometimes , and helped many to break out of the rut of who they thought they were. Ha Ha.~!~ I have read Beezelbub twice in its entirety. Once in the late 70`s and once again about 2 years ago. What a trip.
October 22nd, 2006 at 10:05 pm
Only Gurdjieff has the right to say what Gurdjieff meant and Gurdjieff is dead.
October 22nd, 2006 at 10:48 pm
I can`t argue with logic like that.
Did I say I that I was doing that.? I don`t think so. I am not trying to put words in anyone’s mouth especially dead people. Just chucking in my two cents as I thought you might find them interesting. Apparently not though, so , so be it.
October 22nd, 2006 at 11:42 pm
Whoah. I don’t agree with anything you say, but if that’s true, my hat goes off to ya.
October 22nd, 2006 at 11:58 pm
Thank you Jacob, and I bow to your hat going off. Ha Ha. ~!~
I really love it or I couldn`t have done it.
The book was designed to scramble the brain a little , but in a good way.
It makes people reinterpret things.
I am a huge Gurdjieff fan , and like most who love him, also annoyed sometimes with him.
Overall it is well worth a little annoyance I think.
Gurdjieff I like as an example of one person influencing many. Changing lives dramatically by his presence of living. He specialized in that very thing.
October 23rd, 2006 at 12:40 am
I don’t know anything about that book really. Why would it be an accomplishment to read it twice? Does it really scramble the brain that badly?
October 23rd, 2006 at 12:42 am
In skimming through this original post again, I realize that maybe the ultimate step beyond figuring out what I can “give” to other people may simply be to stop viewing human interactions in terms of economic transactions… and just let them be what they are.
October 23rd, 2006 at 10:08 am
Tim, it may be considered an accomplisment in a comical way because that book is actually three books combined and is 1,238 Pages long. ~!~
It is considered by many in the top 100 of books as far as ideas and creative thinking. It may be one of the greatest science fiction stories of all time.
I think you would personaly find it extremely interesting. It is a science fiction book, or that is the format. The title is actually , Beelzebub`s Tales to his Grandson, and it is also refered to as , the All and Everything series.
It is a bazaare hodge podge of Esoteric Christianity, and just about everything else that you can imagine about spiritual subjects jumbled together and literaly was designed to take the reader to places that make the reader think about things differently than what most people arrive at thrue societal constructs.
Another book which I dearly love by Gurdjieff is , Meetings with Remarkable Men. This would probably be the place to start if you or any one is interested in G.I.Gurdjieff.
This is a kind of auto biography and this describes the incredibly interesting men , and yes a women also, that affected his life.
I think Gurdjieff is relevant , I hope to the post because his thoughts and his thinking affected so many and profoundly changed so many that came in contact with him.
So , if you think you may want to explore him , and I suggest you do given your interests, Meetings with Remarkable Men would be the place to start.
Many used copies of this not so large book are available at one of your local used book stores no doubt.
I believe you are in for a great treat if you explore this person . It is a completely natural fit for your interests if I am not mistaken, and could be a perfect example of the effect of another being significant on your self. My opinion.
October 23rd, 2006 at 8:15 pm
Now you’ve got me curious. I guess another trip to the book store is in order.