Have you ever been in or around an actual fist-fight? It doesn’t sound anything like it does in the movies. This really confused me the one time I saw two people start wailing on each other in real life. It was almost like somebody had turned the sound off. Instead of this loud cracking POW! I was expecting to hear, it sounded more like an actual piece of meat being softly hit…
When did movies and television become more real to us than real life? How do we begin to edge backwards from that existential precipice?
My life is not a movie. You do not remind me of an actor. This song does not make me think of a commercial. This moment is not similar to something that happened on television two weeks ago. This is real goddamned life and it’s way better.
- END -
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6 Comments
When life looks fake compared to film…
This is a funny truism - fighting in life is nothinglike fist a cuffs in real life.
Though I have only been in a few real life altercations I have practiced Tae Kwon Do since I was 17. I am now 35 and have learned that Discretion is always the better part of valor.
The actual fights I have been in have almost always been over in 2 minutes or less. In fact, all but one was over in under two minutes. These melodramatic slugfests that the entertainment industry glamorizes and tries to make appealing are mostly mythical. I would hazard to say unless you are a training athlete or maybe (only maybe) if your actual life depended on it could you go for more than a few minutes slugging it out.
Plus, it is difficult to watch get, or continue to, beat someone down. It is an intensely human event. Unless you fall into a rage, (which does happen but nearly with the frequency portrayed in the movies), fighting stops fairly quickly once someone has the obvious upper hand.
Once you learn you can hurt someone you must tap a special place to really hurt someone. For some people – they just can’t do it. Surgeons must cross this barrier in order to cut someone open. It may sound odd but it is fairly well known. This, amongst much else, keeps a lot of MD’s from pursuing surgery. Something similar happens when you learn how to fight.
But why do I say that discretion is the better part of valor? I don’t know if I have mentioned it ‘round here but as a money scam I work as an RN in the ED since ’98. In my time there I have seen 3 people die from effectively one hit in a fight. None for me, thanks.
A wise man once said, “There are few things worth dying for and nothing worth killing for.â€
nowGary, I’m diggin’ your recent comments (not that I’ve not dug your older comments, I just don’t recall any).
Tim, good god, I don’t have time to go off on a rant. Why do you do this to me.. Here I go anyway. This pop culture referencing thing has been driving me nuts for a long time. Like anything, in moderation, a good impression or particularly appropriate reference, here and there, is fine. Even I enjoy it. But I’ve made a concerted effort not to become one of these constant quoters. I have known too many people who’ve made me wonder if there was a single original thought in their f-in heads. They were funny, sure, entertaining… good impressionists and all… A couple of them could be on SNL if they had any ambition (but not as writers). And the degree of comedic skill seems to usually match the degree of time they’ve spent mindlessly absorbing comedic entertainment.
I’ve left behind most of those friends (I moved away) and I’ve realized since that I really didn’t know them at all (though I could easily list what their favorite shows, movies, bands - pop cultural preferences - were). Worse, I’ve met new people in my new town, who are basically the same people, in effect. That saddens me.
There seems to be at least one walking, talking archive of Family Guy quotes in every crowd. At least. And that’s just the Family Guy quoter. The Family Guy itself seems like one big long perpetual pop culture reference. Again, yeah it’s funny, but…
I grew up pretty media-saturated, so I can relate to the difficulty there can be to separate oneself from those implanted memories and associations, and the habit of ‘tuning in’ as the default behavior. But it’s not like we don’t have any control over this now, as adults. It may be more difficult for our generation, but other things are less difficult. It’s not that difficult. It’s just that I don’t think most people are all that smart, so it doesn’t occur to them to actually make these kinds of conscious choices.
Entertainment should be a part of life. It always has been. But it’s our responsibility to govern ourselves. Media is much more prevalent now so we need to be more actively aware and resistant to the destructive aspects of it, that’s all. I like the idea of media fasting. I internet ‘fast’ sometimes, and I’m always media ‘dieting’ to some extent. But I think I’ll do some experimenting.. see how I can take it further. I’d say the only negative side-effect to an extended media fast understanding even less of what my referencey friends are talking about than usual. Oh well.
Speaking of that though, I’m just constantly amazed at the lack of real conversation in most social situations I find myself in. It’s almost all based around TV and movies! I find myself doing it too. It’s contagious. Sometimes it’s the only way to engage in a group conversation at all. In fact, associative pop culture referencing has almost become a language in itself. The language of our generation. Hooray….
No wonder we try to fill the need for real connections and real discussions, with like minds, online. But that leads to the opposite kind of emptiness. Like you said, the checking, the clicking, the waiting… “I wonder if anyone has responded to this comment”? Let’s check! No. (sadness)… The thing is, we all want the sort of emotional connections we can only get in person, which the internet can’t fulfill on its own, but we also want the meeting of minds and the deep conversations, which seem so rare to find in actual, real-world social settings anymore. Integrating the two is a real challenge in this day and age. I guess that’s one reason people are drawn to form (physical) communities based on common beliefs and lifestyles. I think it’s one reason groups of people smoke pot together. Except that usually they just end up watching the Family Guy.. Then re-enacting it. And so on.
Yeah I’m done.
Here’s one reason why we keep checking for new updates and messages online, particularly replies to our messages. Well, besides the ego’s craving for validation in general.. and sometimes just boredom.. We want back-and-forth dialogue, not to speak into an echo-chamber. In a real conversation, you say something, and the other person responds. There’s no long wait in between. If there were, you’d probably not want to hang out with that person in the future. (insert ’slow-talker’ Seinfeld reference here).
Anyway, in a real conversation there’s momentum, back and forth - an immediate sort of energy and spontaneity. This is the thing the internet sucks at. It’s difficult to carry on a conversation over extended periods online and not feel that sense of urgency to get a response, especially if it’s something that’s really on your mind. It’s like playing tennis in super slow motion, but your mind is not slowed down, just the action is. (And yet strangely, snail mail letters I love sending and receiving. But that’s different).
With that, I exit the echo-chamber, for now.
Interesting points, Brooke. I am in such an alignment with the ideas you present that I have almost nothing to add.
I am especially drawn to:
I have felt and sometimes still do feel similar to this:
I especialy admire the idea of moderation you present with regards to the media and internet (as long as it is possible and I am reasonable sure it is possible to do so). But I would reverse the conditions - Media “fasts” for me and internet “diets”.
Couldn’t agree more. It’s eerie. Almost no one (family included) talks about anything of importance or wants to talk about anything of significance.
The clicking and waiting thing and the idea of seeking validation in a comments section of a website have some merit, I suppose. On the surface it seems pathetic and maybe sad.
And there certainly is a huge difference to conversing in person.
But.
I am no longer convinced that conversing in person is superior. It is a wholly different beast, for sure, then blogging/commenting or even writing letters. But, it is possible to exchange ideas over the internet if one gets beyond trying to do the pettier things - validate oneself by posts, validate one’s ideas by changing other people’s minds, etc. Then something real, and enjoyably slow happens.
Better still, for me, is the realization of another idea discussed ’round here and that is idea of our “clan”. The reason we can’t have real discussions in the “real” world is because the like minded people have become seperated but many things, (nefariously or not). And blogging/posting recconects us.
I feel as if I am only recently become fluent in speaking about and exchanging ideas over the internet. It is a nuanced tongue and it took some getting used to as a means of communication. But it is no less valid a form of communication. The “petty” aspects of internet communication are no more or less worse than aspects of other communication styles.
Once past the ego based and petty machinations of internet communication I think I have learned to love and value the slowness of a speedy internet. Probably no particular way of communication currently available to us is superior and I am infatuated with the charms of blogging/posting for now. Maybe its just a honeymoon period but that won’t change how much I am enjoying it right now.
Is this Tim talkin’? … or the Tyler Durdan Tim?
Oh my god, Tim, this rant is speaking to me as I sit here at a boring office job feeling as though I am totally wasting my time, clicking away on my emails! Thank you for waking me up!!! Also, I tried “media fasting” for much longer than a day or a week, I did it for nearly two years! (no t.v., radio, etc.) It was fantastic and really grounding; I became much more aware of myself/my body. And you know what? I survived just fine without it. I just got my information from speaking to people. Now I’ve been sucked back into the fear mongering and brainwashing that goes on via the media. I even found myself watching election results all night - ugh! Anyway, thanks for the wake up.