the timboucher experience

I have decided that today is the day which I will begin clicking on advertisements in spam emails and start ordering penis-enlarging drugs from their mysterious vendors. Because we both know, my friends out there in TV land, that this day was coming sooner or later. Today it’s me. Tomorrow it’s you. Next week, your neighbor Dorothy down the street. One day each one of us gives in and buys the penis-larging drugs from the spam emails. It’s natural. It’s been happening like this for thousands of years.

I want you to sing for your absolution! It’s the only solution!

Successful soccer moms buy Exxon stock while arms mine these make banana bread pudding batter and with our other hands order a Kansas state fishing license. The Edward Scissorhands figure climbs down off the shelf to cut your hair, soccer mom. Be proud, soccer mom. Your penis will soon be bigger. Never fear, soccer mom: All thoughts, objects, people, places, feelings, and everything else will soon be given its own identifying URL/RFID/UPC/GPS/timestamp marking. You’ll never misplace your kids or your car keys or your email again, because pretty soon all of those things will be the same thing: brought to you by Yaho(Ao)G[l]eSoft in conjunction with SecondSpaceTube. When all things are finally recorded (named) time stops. This is the purpose for which God gave us the power to name the animals.

The film starts out in documentary style with a male narrator explaining where Midway is and its stategic importance. About five minutes into the film the format changes somewhat, with more leisurely pictures of the GIs at work on the island, and a female voice over. The female voice over takes the personality of a middle aged woman from Springfield, Illinois, who is a mother-type figure pointing out how she recognizes such and such boy from her home town. Then stock footage of the boys’ mothers and sisters back home is introduced.

Abruptly the narrative turns to the battle itself with approximately 5 minutes dedicated to the defence of the island, the naval battle, and the aftermath. At the end the various known Japanese losses are shown (4 aircraft carriers, 34 battleships, etc) and then brushed over with red paint.

If you want to watch the whole video you can. I am going to watch it right after this song ends because this song is too damned good to stop in the middle of.

Patrick Fitzgerald quit politics beacuse Mayor Daley had workers use earth movers to dig big X’s in the runways of Meigs Field, effectively closing this airport, after his attempts to close it by the legit means available to him were blocked by the US Gov’t and citizens. It’s on an island in Lake Michigan and he claimed he didn’t want terrorists to use it to crash planes into our skyscrapers. That can’t be the real reason because the planes fly over downtown. All you have to do is point them down. (It’s called Northerly Island now.)

That’s right: World War II never happened except on a Hollywood sound stage and in the fields surrounding major manufacturing companies. Excess population was shipped off into space. Their real-life adventures were broadcast back to the good people of earth as “science-fiction.” Now compare:

Everything must have its proper tags around it, you know? You have to make sure you’re wearing your [shirt]body[/shirt] at all times! In the future, creating a new world will be as simple as tagging it with a few keywords. The AI will figure out the rest!

Midway began in 1958 as an independent manufacturer of amusement equipment. It was purchased by Bally in 1969. After some years making mechanical arcade games such as puck bowling and simulated western shoot-out, Midway became in 1973 an early American maker of arcade video games. Throughout the 1970s, Midway was very close to Japanese video game developer Taito, with both companies regularly licensing their games to each other for distribution in their respective country. Midway entered the consumer market in 1977 by releasing the Bally Home Library Computer; the only home system to ever be developed by Midway.

Midway’s real breakthrough success came in 1978, with the licensing and distribution of the seminal arcade game Space Invaders in America. This was followed by the hit U.S. version of Namco’s Pac-Man (1980). Ms Pac-Man (1981) followed, becoming the most successful arcade game ever.

In 1981, Bally merged its pinball division with Midway to form the Bally/Midway Manufacturing division. Three games released that year: Solar Fox, Lazarian and Satan’s Hollow were the first to feature the Bally/Midway brand. From the late 1970s through the late 1980s, Midway was the leading producer of arcade video games in the US.

If nothing else in that Midway video above, go to around 7:20 in the film and watch as they raise the flag after the battle, as the announcer says, “Yes, this really happened.” We are projecting events backwards into the past as though they really happened. They did not. The most highly classified and dangerous secret that the U.S. government keeps locks away in its vaults is that it simply doesn’t exist beyond the media manifestations it has created for itself. There is no such thing as this or any country. They are lines on maps, not in the real world. One World Government already exists and always has. There is only one world. Only one government. Who is the governor? Who is the navigator? The Aviator?

Why did Howard Hughes really “go crazy”? Was he making fake footage of aerial battles which he was selling to the government which they were then selling to the American people in the mass-market smash international hit “World War II”? Was the fact that his fabled “Spruce Goose” not actually able to fly an encoded message to the masses to show that he wasn’t *really* an aviator at all, but was and always had been a film director in the employ of the United States Government to create the appearance of an international war? Did you ever read Philip K. Dick’s “The Penultimate Truth”? Maybe you should. It’s a really good book.

We didn’t have any World Wars before we had Mass Media to unite the world under one vision of what the world was. World Was. World Wars. WWII. D-Day. Fancy lingo followed us around and enmeshed in our minds to create this current reality. Just because we all have a different (subjective) view of downtown doesn’t mean that downtown doesn’t (objectively) exist. Do not be fooled.

Long ago, I remember hearing about a news event surrounding 9/11 where apparently the government sat down with top movie producers in Hollywood to figure out what would be the next terrorist target. What do you really think they were doing? Does anyone else remember reading this? I know I didn’t dream this up in some other universe. It happened here too.

Midway through his campaign for U.S. Senator, Obama wrote and delivered the keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention in Boston, Massachusetts.[29]

After describing his maternal grandfather’s experiences as a World War II veteran and a beneficiary of the New Deal’s FHA and GI Bill programs, Obama said:

“No, people don’t expect government to solve all their problems. But they sense, deep in their bones, that with just a slight change in priorities, we can make sure that every child in America has a decent shot at life, and that the doors of opportunity remain open to all. They know we can do better. And they want that choice.“

And its the choice of a New Generation of robots buying robot products from robot politicians and the ad-men who make them hap-pen. Exceptionology: the new way to talk about reality without actually defining it by measurements and strictures. Everything alive is registered. The government leased you your identity in exchange for compliance within its laws. Consider this a contract which may be revoked at any moment without any notice. You are merely an extrusion of consciousness from the Play-Doh barbershop that is the Universe.

Enter the Age of the Prosumer: The Prosumer is both PROducer and ConSUMER.

Now anyone can make any kind of stupid propaganda film and foist their view of reality out onto the whole world, and not just the government and its oil companies which control the movie industry. We’re supposed to see this as a triumph of the little guy, proof that the free market system works. A lot can happen in a day!

iPod. iPhone. iMovie. iTunes. iRaq. iRan. iFuckAllThisShit.

Role-playing games (ie, Dungeons & Dragons) were an out-growth of 1970’s experimental psychotherapy where people acted out psychodramas in order to gain a better perspective on their lives. Hey, do you remember that tv show Small Wonder? What the hell was the deal with that? Also check out this longer clip from the pilot of the show. There was some screwed up shit in the media when I was a little kid. Oh, if you have a chance to watch that movie D.A.R.Y.L. totally do it, cause it’s wicked awesome. I watched it last night and was actually really surprised by how radical it was.

Speaking of World War II though, and any war in general nowadays, from a strictly financial standpoint - wouldn’t it be cheaper to run a fake (or at least minimal) war that you pump up and make seem huge through the media than to actually go out there and fight the damned thing? Not saying that I’m the first to think of this. Maybe the signals have been put out there all along, but we just aren’t taking them literally enough when they reach us because our truth-o-meters are hooked up to an artificial standard called “fact” instead of to “Truth” with a capital “Tr.” All you would really need to do to prove to people that you’re still in a war is to have a small token bombing (an “IED”) go off every once in a while just so people get the message, “Hey, we’re still at war here folks - don’t forget how bad this is!” And then produce a few hurt people (which is no big deal, cause people are a dime a dozen, right - especially hurt ones?) and you’re all set. I mean think about it: we’re supposed to be at war with iRaq, right - well how many soldiers have we lost? Something in the 3,000 range? Three thousand? What the hell kind of wimpy ass fake death count is that? Totally fucking made up. Maybe the reason the Pentagon won’t let journalists photograph or publicize the dead soldiers is that there simply aren’t any. The caskets are empty. Filled with sand flown over from the deserts of iRaq. And the soldiers who we think are dying are actually being shipped off into outer space, manning a Mars space station, the advance guard of a colonization movement.

Well fuck kids, we may be onto something here! I got into a discussion with a friend of mine last night about counting money and pills, right? I was saying how they have money counters - you just drop the bills into it and it counts them automatically. Same thing with pills. How do you think they even measure out pills in the first place to put into your little plastic canister? But she pointed out: how would you really know the counter was actually accurate? You’d just have to count it yourself afterwards to make sure. So the counter would actually be useless. What I didn’t think of at the time though is how would you know that your own hand-count was accurate? You couldn’t. You’d have to either re-count it again or else get somebody else to count it. (I remember actually being a kid and obsessively counting piles of change over and over again to double-check myself) I think this is a little bit like how reality works. Actually probably a lot. Then, thinking about all that, I got onto the topic of monetary value itself. The thing is, money is not pegged to anything. You can’t pick up a jacket and “count” exactly how many cents it is worth. It’s just an estimate - a matter of what you think you’d pay for it and whether that seems reasonable to you. You can’t hand-count monetary value. It’s completely arbitrary. Maybe this is more like how reality works. Then I though: “time is money.” Time works the same way, right? You can’t sit down one day and accurately measure out however many seconds or minutes there are in a day. Not unless you have a watch. Even if you have a watch, it’s unlikely you can sit there one whole day and do nothing but stare at the second hand as it revolves around the face of the clock. But we can measure time in a more subjective human scale: a long time, a little while, tonight, tomorrow, an afternoon, a few days. That’s the kind of timescale I am trying to live in accord with now. It’s actually quite rewarding. It’s actually quite a relief to live that way again.

Hey, you know what’s really funny? The sloppy writing and pathetic ideas they try to pass off on us as reality. Dig this cats:

ORLANDO, Fla. - A new era in aviation security began Tuesday when hundreds of select travelers at Orlando International Airport were screened by machines designed to let passengers keep their shoes on through airport checkpoints.

But the machines didn’t always work as expected. Many who spent a minute or so standing on a ShoeScanner before getting to a checkpoint had to remove their shoes anyway and put them through X-ray because the scanner found metal in their footwear.

ShoeScanners, which are planned for four other airports in coming weeks, can detect only explosives.

“It’s a waste of time,” Tracey Grenkoski of Orlando said after being told she had to remove her high-heeled shoes.

Of 50 travelers who used the ShoeScanner in a one-hour period Tuesday, 28 had to remove their shoes.

I mean, this sounds like a goddamned Monty Python sketch, does it not? And here’s the beauty part. If you look around for articles on the brilliantly named “ShoeScanner” device, you’ll find that only SOME of them mention how the TSA is rolling out a programme that will allow you to bypass this shit if you throw down some money. That is, if you fucking pay off the fascist pigs who are making you take your shoes off in the airport (which itself is only a ploy to make you feel like a little kid anyway).

Orlando International starts using the ShoeScanner this morning but only for people who pay an annual fee and pass a background check. Those fee-paying travelers will soon find the machines at Indianapolis, San Jose and Cincinnati airports and in Terminal 7 at New York’s Kennedy International. [...]

ShoeScanners will be available only to people who join the Registered Traveler program, which allows faster security lines for passengers paying about $100 a year. The Transportation Security Administration approved ShoeScanners only for Registered Traveler and has no plans to expand it to regular checkpoints because of cost and time concerns.

The ShoeScanner’s $200,000 per unit cost is being paid by Verified Identity Pass, a Manhattan company that several airports have hired to run Registered Traveler.

I smell product roll-out! I smell national ID card with biometric data and microchipping! Guess what people: that “shoe bomber” dude who was the alleged cause behind this new rule about taking off your shoes in airports? That was all a goddamned fake just like every goddamned thing they do. That’s their only power: forgery. All the money they make: phoney. All the power they have: imaginary. Our government is a cartel. A mafia. But if you pay them off, you’re totally cool. Otherwise, you better make damned sure you’re following the rules because otherwise they might make you sit in a room and watch a documentary on HBO about how bad life in prison is! Soccer moms of the world, unite! I bet the government is the one who sends out those spam emails with the penis pills in them. Selling our illusions. Manufacturing our insecurity. Why does it cost almost ten dollars nowadays to go see a propaganda film at the local re-education center anyway? You know why? Because it makes their messages more “sticky.” They tried giving this shit away for free and that worked for previous generations. But our generation likes to think of itself as sophisticated and upwardly mobile. We’ll gladly shell out ten dollars to be indoctrinated by a film made in cooperation with international corporations, a film whose script passes through the hands of a hundred different bureaucratic toadies whose job is to make sure that it toes the party line. That’s the only measure of whether or not something is “viable in the marketplace.” It has nothing to do with how much money it makes. What do they care? They print the damned money after all! We’re the only idiots who have bought into this whole thing about chasing that shit around. It’s only paper. It has no value, no meaning other than what we give it. Why do you think its a crime to destroy money? Because its a symbol of everything that’s holy: the holy lies foisted upon you by society, the lies by which we all think that we manage to be able to get along with one another.

The religion of the artist, the poet, the mystics is beauty, truth, love. Exceptionology feeds your inner flame.

Britain, Japan and Australia joined the United States on Friday in voicing concern about the rising militarization of space after China successfully carried out a test of an anti-satellite weapon.

But Russia expressed skepticism about the January 11 test, in which an old Chinese weather satellite was destroyed by a ballistic missile.

In Beijing, meanwhile, a Foreign Ministry spokesman said Friday he was unaware of such a test. The spokesman, Liu Jianchao, added that China was against the militarization of space.

You also gotta love this new super-slimmed down bullet point “executive summary” that CNN is now doing on its stories. It is brilliant in its manipulativeness.

• NEW: Allies say China not acting like it wants peaceful use of space
• Chinese use a missile to ram and destroy an old, orbiting satellite
• Experts: China now may have ability to knock out U.S. spy satellites

The first one is my favorite: “China not acting like it wants peaceful use of space.” Hilarious! You go girl! You ramp up that fake media war with China so that you can convince us all of the necessity of moving offworld by staging imaginary inter-galactic battles! The future is gonna be so cool! Where’s my hoverboard???

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