the timboucher experience

I am starting a new project as part of my efforts to begin assembling a massive cult of personality around me for the aggrandizement of my frail enfeebled childish ego - that and, uh, for me to raise a couple hundred dollars in donations so I can drive down next week to California and romance a special someone without busting my bank account.

I’m also starting a new job tomorrow which I am completely excited about: working afternoons at a dog daycare place. It “promises to be a blast” as they say. I don’t know who says that, but you get the idea. But yeah, probably won’t get paid there till after my trip, so I’m just trying to bridge the gap between now and then.

Anyway yeah, so I thought this would be a creative way to raise some dough-nations from people who have enjoyed all of what I have been doing here these past few years on this site and which I will continue to do so in some form or another as long as I am able. Just remember, some time in the future all you will have is noographic simulations of what it was like to be able to visit this website. While we are all here, sitting each of us in our own little spaceship pods, let’s just go ahead and do our best to appreciate the “real” thing (if you could call it that).

Pleasantries out of the way, here is the massively self-referential purposely creepy and ironic and let’s not forget intelligent spiritual satire but also possibly just maybe who knows if the stars are all aligned then it just might actually be meaningful or helpful for somebody project I have put together. Announcing:

Exceptionology: Prescriptions for Unconditional Living!!!

For the one-time minimum donation of $10 (or more if you want to make them really work!) to my PayPal account, I will for real mail you an exceptionologically strong prescription for unconditional living. Each prescription will arrive in a brown medicine bottle with a hand drawn symbolic description of a particular energetic frequency imbalance for which it is genetically randomly and absurdly meant to correct. Each prescription bottle contains ten hand-written and unique hyper-fractally compressified gossamer seedpetal thinware command line Matrix smarticule programming thread command uh thingies written in the form of a directive (ie, “DO THIS NOW”), which if approached conscientiously and hilariously is guarandamnteed to at least make you feel stupid and embarrased that you “spent” (not spent - donated so I could go to California for the greatest of all reasons: romance!) ten dollars on this thing but might also make you realize that you have within you the power to make yourself feel incrementally better whenever you want to, and it really is as simple as giving yourself fun commands and writing for yourself a much more entertaining and intriguing part in the musical production that is your own life.

Each prescription also contains a creative interpretation for you to read so that when your AI mind catches wind of what you’ve just been bamboozled into spending (I mean donating for love!) ten dollars on, that it will have something to occupy itself with and which you can show to your friends to prove unequivocally how weird and different but secretly cool you actually are.

And if that’s not enough to get you fired up and ready here are a couple pictures to get your smarticles whirring and your moneycules scurrying!

I’ve actually made one of these for myself for when I go through my periodic freak-out sessions, and as ridiculous as they are, they actually really help in some weird stupid way that I can’t explain.

Below are all currently available prescriptions. While donating, please indicate your top three choices (though you only get one per $10 donation) for symbolic energetic condition-correction code sequences (or indicate if no preference). I will do my best to accomodate everyone’s desires and will cross off items from the list as they go.

1. Long Forgotten Trauma
2. Who Needs Love Like That?
3. Alien Contact
4. Activate Secret DNA!
5. Anti-Brainwashing
6. Time in a Bottle
7. What the Fuck?
8. I Will Fear No Evil!
9. Psychic Super Hero
10. Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?
11. Spiritual Dysfunction?!?
12. Richer Than God
13. Love Hurts
14. Paranormal Paranoia
15. Kundalini Countdown!
16. Raise the Dead!
17. Sterile Heart
18. Tired of the Bullshit!
19. I Am Going Crazy!
20. Too Cautious…

Makes a great April Fool’s gift to yourself!

There is a donation button on the top right hand of this website. Go wild and thanks to all who’ve donated now and in the past (as well as the future)!

PS. The reason I’m not currently offering these for free to people who have donated money in the past (hi guys and thanks!) is because I have already spent all that money and need more! Simple!

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