You have to be able to love yourself before anything else can happen. I know it’s annoying and sounds fake and New Agey, but it’s totally true. I’m sorry. Sorry because I know how hard it can be to allow yourself to let go of all of this bullshit you carry around on yourself. It’s not totally your fault though because most of what we do to each other is we put the burdens of our words and beliefs on one another. It’s what that Rolling Stones song “Beast of Burden” is all about:

I can’t believe that one guy actually said that they both like DragonballZ and movies, of all things. We should totally hang out.

This is good. It’s from the comments to an old post here that somebody left. It’s from Krishnamurti:

Love is not the product of thought which is the past. Thought cannot possibly cultivate love. Love is not hedged about and caught in jealousy, for jealousy is of the past. Love is always active present. It is not `I will love’ or `I have loved’. If you know love you will not follow anybody. Love does not obey. When you love there is neither respect nor disrespect. Don’t you know what it means really to love somebody - to love without hate, without jealousy, without anger, without wanting to interfere with what he is doing or thinking, without condemning, without comparing - don’t you know what it means? Where there is love is there comparison?

When “it” first happened to me was maybe like six months ago. I don’t actually remember the exact date. I may have written some kind of allusion to it at some point while stoned, but I don’t remember of course. I mentioned it the other day because I was listening to Rhythm of the Saints really loud before I left. Maybe you heard it. I don’t remember where you were.

But it happened one night on the way back to Jeremy’s house during this period where we would just get totally fucked up and listen to like Rush or whatever and Jeremy would dance around in his chair and conduct all the instruments and then later fall asleep. It was a night like that. I remember pine cones and a fir tree and the way it smelled when the tears flowed down through the passage between my nose and mouth. It was the song Obvious Child that did it.

I wish there was a non-live video for that song, but oh well. But I just experienced this overwhelming movement when I don’t know what it was if my heart opened or the Holy Spirit “came upon me” (in a non-sexual way) and I just felt like I was home. Like I was accepted and that all wounds were healed and all sins forgiven. The Prodigal Son, basically. And it was very damned intense and I cried all the way home. I pretty much cry all the time about everything. It’s one of the “problems” of the Green Man Heart Chakra - it forces you to constantly water the plants. I also pee a lot.

Avalon Avis Avram

This Central Park live version is just not as good. Only a pale echo is contained in it of what I experienced. But that’s not the point. The point is you could experience this anywhere, the trigger words of God’s love which make you no-longer an Illuminati Mind-Controlled Slave™ You might find it in a Bon Jovi video or a Warrant video, or at the Poison concert which is apparently coming up soon in Umpqua, OR.

Oh shit, this is the “extra rippin” video.

They told me this is what you are looking for. And I want you to know you can believe in me. But not before you believe in yourself. And what I mean by that is you can believe in the fact that I believe in you. I don’t know if that makes perfect sense, but it’s close enough for now.

WTF? Have you ever seen this video?

Note the eagle on the bus. And the thing about rolling dice. Where’s the girl I knew a year ago?

Too much too soon
Or just a little too late
Cause when her ship came in
She wasnt there and it just wouldnt wait

The guitar solo after that is so totally extra rippin. I wish we were at the Dubliner right now drunk on cheap gin. This song would sound amazing there in that back room with all the couches and the invisible loft bed above the door. The title of the album that came from is “Open up and say… aah”. We should have known when they closed Humbrews for the summer that things would go this way. But aren’t they opening up again with even more seating in August? I could never get into Everett’s because of that first night there, despite all the elk and shit on the walls. Just too much crazy energy at that place. It’s a good thing we didn’t have more than one round on Pint Night. I left my glass there because we can’t both be sharks.

You were always great about walking me home when I was drunk though. I always liked that - even when I was really mad and bitchy.

I rented Jesus Christ Superstar today at Scarecrow (Scarecrow Cowardly Lion HeartBrain Wizard activation sequence girl Toto Yellow Brick Road Wicked Witch Magic Journey Faithfully). I am hopefully going to watch it tonight after I supposedly get food with some people at Eastlake. People you know and like. I don’t think I will drink any beer tonight though. I am still plenty dehydrated. I need to get back on that detox tea shit. I know you meant it in a nice way but you shouldn’t have kept feeding me beer when my blood was getting thick and slow.

it is a video made by my in the one that I try to project what was the ROCK at the end of the 80ta begin of the 90, watch it and say If like or not…
thank’s to everybody…
please RAITING MY VIDEO, PLEASEEEEE

This is like watching memories of when we were hard rockers in the late 80’s and early 90’s.

I do not own anything in this video.

Thanks for watching.

(These are the kinds of goats Garrett’s mom raises. He is the son of a goat herder. How Biblical is that??)

tom petty dont come around here no more you wreck me great songs i want fish n chips