it’s true that when you light your heart on fire, it burns away everything in your life that can’t stand the heat. and that while it’s burning away the dross, it hurts like hell…..and stinks like burnt shit…and that makes us want to put out the fire.

but don’t. the IYouniverse needs your flame.

I’ve already stolen little fragments to decorate IM/email profiles and the like. Like how high school students scribble quotes they like on their textbooks. Anyone else do that?

here’s one that went into my email quotes:

“See that’s what I mean about God getting caught up in his own Creations. He gets super stoned by smoking the whole universe at once and is like, “Holy shit! I made that?”

wait, wait! What I ment was: you are going to be damn near literally in my back yard!!!

I betcha the nearby well-stocked wine shop has plenty of Les Heretiques! (Did I mention how weird it was to have been reading in depth on the Cathers only to come here and find mention of them?)

…and there’s a place that has plenty of Elk nearby too!

See?

Things are lookin’ up!

If you swing by Chicago stop by and say hi.

Life seems to get scarier and crazier, wayyyyy past the point I thought it could, and it seems like things are going that way for many people I know right now. it’s enough to make you believe in astrology…

Don’t I know it. I blame the moon, the unborn embryo-planet that feeds on the life and awareness and experiences of the living. She’s been awfully big and bright lately, and my own past experiences make me duck during full moons.

Tim, for what it’s worth, your most recent writings have been the most beautiful. You may be diving in the dark, but you’re pulling up treasures. I’ve already stolen little fragments to decorate IM/email profiles and the like. Like how high school students scribble quotes they like on their textbooks. Anyone else do that? I never quite outgrew it.

Fresh air sounds good. Leave it to Jack Kerouac to inspire an inexplicable ramble. Besides, with the flow of scenery rushing by, no one needs to struggle to understand anything. It’s a lot easier to just look.

New keyboard. Relearning how to type. Lotsa broken sentences ahoy.

Well shit sucks right now but it sucks in a lot different way than it did before. So I don’t know if that’s consolation or progress or what?

There is only one direction we are headed and that is towards the source. That is where we came from and that is where we are heading because there is no where else and no thing else. We don’t “need” anything else, we can’t have anything else, we are not anything else.

There is none beside YOU. You know who I am talking to and who I am. It has been there since the earliest time and will be there after time is done. (This is self-evident, all timekeeping devices and schemes are “in” it, they can’t escape their ontological boundary.)

In the face of THAT which speaks our words before we do, we must admit our explanations and narratives are not our own. We cannot really pretend otherwise, but it HURTS SO BAD not to… and then it doesn’t.

Whatever happened though this past month is just inexplicable. I can’t wrap my mind around it based on the events that lead up to it. I mean I know it’s just human nature to have things go the way they go, but things just don’t make sense to me. It feels alien and impossible.

FWIW, I really feel for ya. Life seems to get scarier and crazier, wayyyyy past the point I thought it could, and it seems like things are going that way for many people I know right now. it’s enough to make you believe in astrology…

Back some years, it was as though the universe’s gears were designed from Genesis to bring me to where I am now. They turned and I praised God, and now they have not stopped turning… but what else did I expect anyway? To perch at the pinnacle of the cycle forever? That’s not just incorrect, it’s downright blasphemous, attributing permanence to anything other than the permanent.

But neither am I the blasphemer, there is only one who is powerful enough to speak against himself, no power other than the power could oppose the power.

what is it I want to say? It doesn’t matter. You will still hear it and I’m not the one who says it anyway.

Plotinus called him The Good.

If it’s any help the feeling of dread I’ve gotten from your site recently has faded.

Well shit sucks right now but it sucks in a lot different way than it did before. So I don’t know if that’s consolation or progress or what…?

Have you considered the possibility that you are a victim of some sort of spiritual attack?

Interesting hypothesis and I wouldn’t totally count it out, I guess, except that I realize for my own mental health it’s kind of a tough road to go down to start considering that sort of thing. It leads to a serious bit of megalomania and paranoia - even if, or maybe especially if it is true.

Whatever happened though this past month is just inexplicable. I can’t wrap my mind around it based on the events that lead up to it. I mean I know it’s just human nature to have things go the way they go, but things just don’t make sense to me. It feels alien and impossible.

BTW stop having money and communiation problems, it’s contagious.

Okay I am renewing my phone number right now. I can’t just disappear off the face of the earth, I recognize. That’s no solution.

Each person I talk to tells me different things

If it’s any help the feeling of dread I’ve gotten from your site recently has faded.

Have you considered the possibility that you are a victim of some sort of spiritual attack? I’ve seen this kind of thing both on spiritually focused and political websites. Momentum builds and breakthroughs in understanding are made. Principalities and Powers are shaken and stirred and they strike back. The author/candidate/leaders of the movement take a number of courses but never the same one they were on before. Whatever was threatened by the progress is safe.

BTW stop having money and communiation problems, it’s contagious.